


J is for Jealousy

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: An X-File Case, F/M, Novel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-21
Updated: 2003-01-21
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:55:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 51,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Scully is forced to admit her jealousy when she sees her nemesis kissing Mulder.  They fight and then, well, they kiss and make up.  A weird case provides time alone and they finally take the relationship to a new level.





	J is for Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

J is for Jealousy

## J is for Jealousy

### by Donnilee
    
    
    TITLE:      J is for Jealousy
    AUTHOR:     Donnilee
    RATING:     NC-17 (Of course, what else do I write?)
    

WARNING: Descriptive sex. Smut warning. **CATEGORY: MSR**

SUMMARY: Scully is forced to admit her jealousy when she sees her nemesis kissing Mulder. They fight and then, well, they kiss and make up. A weird case provides time alone and they finally take the relationship to a new level. 

SPOILERS: Little ones, mostly mere references for Duane Barry, Ascension, Millennium, 3, Gethsemane, Fight the Future, Never Again, Darkness Falls, Theef. Nothing huge, just references made to certain scenarios or cases. 

DISCLAIMER: Nope. Not mine. Used shamelessly and without remorse. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox, and god knows who else, but not me. The Heritage Inn, The Hopkins Inn, Cornwall, Warren, New Milford, Grampa Snazzy's Log Cabin, and Routes 202, 341 45 and 7 really exist. References to real places are used without permission, not that anyone really cares. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Dudleytown was a farming village first settled in the late 17th century and is a local legendary place in Cornwall, Connecticut. It was inhabited by early settlers of the New England area. It is located in the upper northwest corner of the state. Legend has it that the Dudley's were cursed and brought their curse to the town. The legend has it that all that lived there either went mad or came to untimely ends. Some say the previous residents haunt it. Other's say that there are unnatural occurrences taking place there even today. Old foundations to the homes can be seen there. There are many stories of "strange happenings" in Dudleytown, experienced by the curious who have ventured there to "check out the rumors." 

* * *

Cars have died for no apparent reason. An unusual amount of physical injury is experienced by visitors, and campers have claimed to have seen actual apparitions and felt them touch them while attempting to camp there. Balls of light are said to have been seen. Other snippets of the legend will be told in the following story. I have taken license with some of it. The Dark Entry Road, which is one of two entrances to the place was overgrown and so is the area where the foundations are found. Mere hiking paths were all that was left of the once thriving New England farming community that produced quite a few famous people early in its history. Dudleytown Road is the other entrance. Supreme Court Justices, doctors, lawyers and presidential candidates have been associated with Dudleytown. The property is owned by an organization called the DEF and trespassing there is illegal now. The roads have been cleared in order to be used as "fire roads", should there ever be a fire up there. 

Are any of the rumors true? Who knows? Most legends are based in fact, and embellished by the superstitions of their creators and then embellished as the years go by. Do I believe any of it? Probably not, but it makes a good setting for a story! 

ON A PERSONAL NOTE: I grew up in Warren, Connecticut, a little town that borders Cornwall, in the northwest corner of the state. You can spit and hit the New York State border from there. My home town is 5 miles across and 7 miles wide and has about 1000 residents and that includes the children! Cornwall isn't much bigger. I grew up with the stories of Dudleytown and various haunted sites in New England, but I've never placed one of my stories in any of these local legends and thought maybe it was time. 

**WEBSTER'S NINTH NEW COLLEGIATE DICTIONARY**

JEAL-OUS \ 'jel-es\ adj [ME jelous, fr. OF, fr. (assumed) VL zelosus, fr. LL zelus, zeal --- more at ZEAL] (13c) 1 : a: intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness b : disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness 2 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage 3 : vigilant in guarding a possession  <new colonies were ^ of their new independence --- Scott Buchanan> jeal-ous-ly (adv) --- jeal-ous-ness (n) 

JEAL-OU-SY \'jel-e-se\\(n) (13c) 1 : a jealous disposition, attitude, or feeling 2 : zealous vigilance 

* * *

* * *

**J IS FOR JEALOUS**  
**PART 1 (R)**  
**HOOVER BUILDING**  
4:00 PM 

You know, it's weird. You think you have all your emotions tucked neatly into a little corner of your brain where you can manage them. You become confident that you are in control. You know the rules: looky, no touchy, and you really are O.K. with that it seems. 

You're O.K. until someone else can looky AND touchy. Then the situation doesn't seem O.K. anymore. Then the door on that little corner of your brain bursts wide open and the emotions come flooding out. 

I blew it today. I let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. Me, the one with the 'sense', the one with the grip on professionalism at all costs. I saw him standing there in the parking garage talking to 'The Bitch'. It's the only way I refer to her now in my mind. And really, I'd seen him speak to her before. It bothered me, it pissed me off that he kept giving her the benefit of the doubt, but I was dealing with it. But I'd never seen her touch him, really touch him other than to reach for his hand. 

We always park side by side in the parking garage. They were standing at the driver side door to his car. I couldn't hear what they were saying as I rounded the corner, emerging from behind one of those giant cement pillars that mysteriously holds up tons of concrete above our heads. He was frowning. 

That was a good thing. I liked it when he frowned at 'The Bitch.' Neither of them had seen me yet. I began walking briskly to cover the distance between us, unconsciously wanting to interfere with this little conversation. As I approached, my form blocked by the last pillar in a long line of pillars, I heard her voice. 

"Come on Fox, you remember what it was like. It could be that way again if you let it." 

"For the last time, DON'T call me Fox." I rounded the pillar just in time for the show. Her hands sliding up his forearms, her body pressing into his and her lips covering his in an open-mouthed kiss. 

Sick was all I felt. 

Red was all I saw. 

The only sound I made was "Ahhh, Goooddd, No!" I fought my inner demon that wanted to jump her and rip her away from him. I felt nausea rise up like a wave and choke off my air. My head spun and so did my body as I did a one-eighty and headed back for the elevator. 

The blood was pounding in my ears. Through the haze, I heard him shout, "SCULLY! WAIT!" I couldn't stop. I kept walking to the elevators, practically at a run, half staggering from the nausea and blind rage that was coiling in my gut. 

Damn elevator. I leaned one arm on the wall and braced myself against the wall, stabbing furiously at the button to bring the elevator back to me. Where the hell was it? It couldn't arrive soon enough. 

I heard her whiny voice calling him. "Fox, ... oh O.K., Mulder! Please, let's talk!" 

And then I heard his response, as though the sound was entering my head through cotton candy. "Damn it, Diana, you've done enough damage for one day! Go away! Just go away!" 

Stab. Stab. Stab. Did he just reject her? Where the hell was that elevator?! 

I heard him again, "Scully, wait! Will you please wait?" His arms went around my waist from the rear. 

'DO NOT TOUCH ME', my mind screamed. Instinct kicked in and I swung my elbow back, bracing my fist with the other hand and landed a solid hit in his solar plexus. His arms loosed from my body and I heard the 'Whhooommphhh' that sounded from him. 

"Leave me alone, Mulder!" 

Jesus. I'm acting like a jealous wife! What the hell is the matter with me? If it were anyone but her I could take it. 

Liar. 

Stab. Stab. Stab. 

His voice is a wheeze, "Scully, don't ... be like this! ... I can ... explain that. It isn't what ... it looked like." 

DING! Thank you, Jesus! The doors slide open and I surged into the elevator, hitting the 3rd floor button and the 'close door' button in quick succession. As the doors began to close, Mulder threw himself between them. They closed behind him and he went down on his knees, holding his ribs with both arms. 

I looked at him, my rage suddenly drained as he looked up at me with a look of total dejection and guilt. My rage was turning into burning embarrassment. I had no right to be angry. But was I angry with him? With her? Or was I angry with me? 

Well, I had Mulder on his knees. I'd imagined that several times ... bringing Mulder to his knees. This isn't exactly what I had in mind. I was still breathing heavily and I hadn't said a word. I just returned his gaze and watched him pant for breath to ease the pain. What is this? Another snide voice in my head said, 'What's the matter, Dana. You don't want him but you don't want anyone else to have him either? How selfish is that? 

I really shouldn't have done that. I turned my face to the corner and leaned one shoulder against the back wall of the elevator. He put a hand on the wall and gingerly got to his feet as the elevator started to rise. I couldn't look at him. I'd just made a complete ass out of myself. 

I mean, he knows I hated Diana, but what right do I have to be upset over his personal life? I'm not his girlfriend. Sure, I have my fantasies, but that's as far as it had gone. Well, maybe it had gone further than I thought, judging by my uncontrolled reaction a few minutes ago. So why am I fleeing like a wronged woman at the sight of him kissing her? Because she will hurt him, she will betray him. That's why. 

Liar. Would it be different if it were some other woman, a strange woman I didn't know? No. It would be the same, I admitted. It was just worse because it was Diana. 

I kept telling myself that I was happy with our friendship just the way it was. I didn't need anything else. It was rapidly becoming apparent that I did want something else. But if I wasn't willing to take that step then I could hardly expect him to be alone for the rest of his life. I could hardly expect for him to never want more than friendship with someone. When did I start thinking of him as mine? If I was honest, quite a while ago. 

Now I've made a scene and it was time to pay the piper. He wasn't going to let this go. I'd never reacted like that before in front of him. I had really made a complete jackass out of myself. The embarrassment was crushing. The silence in the elevator car was deafening. I had hit the button for the 3rd floor where the cafeteria was, but Mulder hit the button for the basement. The car stopped and the doors slid open. 

His hand went out to keep the doors open. He looked at me. "Are you coming into the office with me or do I have to drag you in there. Because we are going to talk about this." 

"Screw you, Mulder!" Why am I yelling at him? Because I'm embarrassed and being angry with him is the only way I can maintain my dignity. Funny how I can answer my own questions most of the time, but still can't seem to prevent myself from doing and saying stupid things. Not when it comes to Mulder anyway. 

"Scully." His voice was deadly calm. I knew that tone. I heard it very seldom. He would brook no refusal. I had pushed him too far by physically assaulting him. I'd never done anything like that before. What the hell was wrong with me? He was not making an idle threat. He would carry out his ultimatum. I glanced at him and then walked briskly past him and out the door, turning sideways to avoid accidentally bumping into him, or touching him in any way. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. If I'd just walked away, he probably wouldn't have come after me. I could have had my little fit in private, and we probably wouldn't have mentioned it ever again. It would have been as if it never happened, as if I never saw it. But no! I had to moan my upset into their faces like I'd caught my husband cheating on me and ran away like a high school teenager who can't handle confrontation. Great. Just great. 

He followed me sedately down the hall and into the office. He turned to close the door and I heard him turn the lock. He turned, leaning his back on the door, not advancing into the room. I stood in front of his desk with my back to him. Silence reigned for about 30 seconds. 

I felt a lump forming in my throat and swallowed hard to avoid letting tears come. Were they tears of anger? Or were they tears of embarrassment? I didn't really know at this point. 

"Scully, I want to say something to you and then I want to ask you a question." 

"Mulder, look, I'm sorry. I don't know what the hell is the matter with me. You know I don't like her, but hell, I don't have to, right? I mean, you can be with who ever you want to be with, right? And, and, as long as it doesn't interfere with your work, OUR work, then, then ...but she would ... interfere that is ... and, and ..." I'm babbling. 

"Shut up, Scully." His voice was still maddeningly calm. I fell silent. "If I approach you will you keep your elbows to yourself? You didn't break my ribs but I'm going to have one hell of a bruise." 

Guilt, why did I hit him? I turned around finally to look at him. "Just say what you have to say. Just know that I'm sorry. I don't even know what the hell is going on with me." I decided now was a good time to examine my shoes. 

He approached me carefully and slid his hands under my forearms, lifting them to rest on top of his. He didn't force me to raise my head or ask me to. He spoke to the top of my head. 

"Scully, I need for you to know something. I have absolutely NO ROMANTIC feelings for Diana." 

"Muld..." 

"Quiet. Let me finish." I nodded. "She doesn't want me either. She wants to control me and reviving our relationship would be the perfect way to do that. She's a control freak. I know that. I'm not as blind to her as you think. But that doesn't mean that I want to be cruel to her, or treat her like a leper either. It doesn't mean that I don't want to give her the benefit of the doubt until she gives me a reason not to." 

He paused, taking a slow, deep breath. "SHE kissed ME, Scully, not the other way around. And if I'd seen it coming, she wouldn't have made it to my lips. But I didn't see it coming. I didn't think she'd be that aggressive." 

"Mulder, I'm sorry. O.K.? I feel like an ass and you DON'T owe me an explanation." 

"Shush, will you? I'm not finished. And I want to explain because I don't want you to think the wrong thing about what you saw. It matters to me what you think." He paused again. "I don't know what happened out there. I heard you ... I pushed her away. You didn't stick around for that part. By then you were already running away from me. I don't know why you reacted that way, Scully, but I wish you would tell me." 

"I don't know either. All I can say is that I ... " 

"What? Be honest with me, Scully. Plleeaasse." 

I swallowed hard. "I hate her, Mulder. I can't help it. Seeing her touch you ... I don't know why ... the sight of it made me feel sick." 

He folded me into his arms and I was helpless to resist it. My cheek was plastered to his breastbone and his chin was nuzzling my head. I shivered and wound my arms around his waist. It felt so good standing like this. When he was touching me like this, it felt like no one could take him away from me. I realized, quite suddenly, how possessive and territorial I'd gotten over him. I wasn't proud of that. I knew, intellectually, that jealousy was the fear of a future loss. Could anyone really take him away from me? I didn't know. Maybe that was the question I needed to ask. But that would require making an admission of need. Something I'd never or rarely done with him either. Could I do it and maintain my dignity? Christ, my dignity was in shreds anyway. What was the difference? 

"Mulder?" 

"Hmmm? I know you hate her, Scully, but I don't. I don't trust her completely but I don't hate her. But she's no threat to our partnership, she's no threat to our friendship, either." 

"Mulder?" 

"What?" 

"Could ... I mean, is there anyone ... that could ..." 

"Anyone that could what, Scully?" 

I gathered my courage. I had to know once and for all. "Is there anyone that could take you away from me?" My voice was bordering on being a whisper. But it was the best I could do right now. Was I asking if anyone could take him away from this partnership? From this friendship? Or was I asking something deeper? I wasn't really sure. 

Now his hands came up to my face and tilted my head up to look at him. He found my eyes and held them there with his own. I couldn't look away from him when he did this. He knew it too. His voice was low and steady. "No. There is no one else in my life, no one in the WORLD that could take me away from you." 

I felt my eyes sting with tears again. I nodded slightly, just enough to acknowledge his answer. My eyes darted away now. His fingers wound into my hair. "Mulder?" 

His voice held the hint of a tease. "You do realize, Scully, that your question holds the hint of ownership in it, don't you? It sounds a little ... dare I say ... I don't know ... possessive?" 

He released my head and slid his arms around my back again. My forehead rested on his chest while I tried to think of an appropriate answer. I just knew he would pick up on that! I felt better already though. "Yeah." 

"Mind telling me what that means?" 

"I don't know." 

"Cop out. It doesn't bother me if that's what you're worried about." 

"I really don't know. I need to think about it. I've never felt that feeling before, in reaction to you or anyone else for that matter. My reaction surprised me as much or more than it surprised you." 

His tone was extremely facetious. "I doubt it!" I pressed my lips to his chest so he could feel me smile. I felt a shiver race through his torso and his hold on me tightened. Ooops. Probably shouldn't have done that either. What had gotten into me today? I glanced down, leaning my forehead on his chest again and noticing that there was a perfect impression on my red lipstick on his shirt. I decided not to mention it at the moment. I felt like I'd marked my territory. Instead of the idea disgusting me, as it probably should have, it made me feel a little giddy. This was bad. Very bad. 

"Mulder, I think I need to go home now," I said quietly. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes." 

"You didn't answer my question." 

"I don't have an answer for you, Mulder." 

"I have a theory. Want to hear it?" 

"Not really." He was silent for a few moments. "O.K., what's your theory?" 

"Correction, it's not really a theory, it's a wish." 

"A wish?" Now I was puzzled. 

"Yeah, a wish. A hope." 

"I guess you better explain, Mulder, because you've completely lost me." 

He chuckled. "I never dared hope that you felt HALF as much for me as I feel for you." O.K., I'm gulping now. The office really isn't the place for this type of confession. What the hell was he going to say? I needed more time to straighten out the reasons for my actions. A little devil voice in the back of my head whispered, 'Or justify them.' Shit. 

"What do you feel?" Why am I asking this? 

"I think that's a little more than we need to get into right now," he replied. 

"O.K., you hope what?" 

He continued. "I hope that what I saw down there was ... " 

Now it seemed he couldn't find the words. "What, Mulder? What do you hope it was?" Ooo, my, wasn't I being brave? 

His voice was worried but determined to get this out. "If it was what I think it was, I find it hard to believe. But I hope it was more about jealousy than about hating Diana." 

I went to pull away and out of his arms, but he banded his arms tighter around my waist and held me there. "No, Scully. I won't let you pull away." I could hear the determination in his voice. 

"I don't expect you to confirm or deny that statement. I don't expect you to respond in any way. I just needed to tell you what I hope it was. That's all. You have absolutely NO reason to be jealous, Scully, ever. But if you were ... well, that makes my head spin a little." 

He hoped it was jealousy? Why? He wanted me to be jealous. He wanted me to ... want him. I simply cannot face this right now. 

I was quiet a moment. "I need to go home, Mulder." 

He graciously accepted my refusal to say any more and loosened his grip on me. As I stepped back I raised my face to him. What I saw there threw me slightly. He was looking at me with such tenderness and such longing. It caused a squeezing sensation in my chest. His hands slid up to cup my cheeks again and he brought his face close to mine. "Are WE O.K., Scully?" He was asking if I was still angry or upset with him. 

I was still upset, but not over Diana. I was upset because I was so undecided about my feelings. I didn't like being wishy-washy or not understanding my own feelings. "Yes, we're O.K." 

New Year's Eve had never been mentioned. But at that moment, I saw the intent in his eyes. It was the same look he'd had before he kissed me then. He whispered my name with reverence. "Scully." 

I only had time to open my mouth on an automatic protest. No sound made it out of my mouth. For the first time since New Year's Eve, he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. He captured my bottom lip and sucked lightly before letting it go. He didn't hesitate. He didn't push. But he held my head still. This time though, his lips moved. His mouth opened as he tipped his head sideways. 

He was slow and deliberate. His lips pulled together after touching mine, dragging the smooth warmness of his lips over mine. I shuddered at the electric sizzle that fired down my spine. I panted a little "ooo". I was about to respond when he pulled back slightly, rubbed his nose over mine in an Eskimo kiss and smiled lazily. He hadn't pushed or deepened the kiss but it was a bit more purposeful than the one on New Year's Eve. And there was no holiday or occasion to blame it on this time. 

I'd been ready to kiss him back. Holy shit. I couldn't think. My heart turned over at the look on his face. He wasn't afraid and he wasn't sorry for what he had done; two rare occurrences where Mulder was concerned. "I'll see you later," he murmured. 

All I could do is nod mutely and shuffle sideways to head for the door. I remembered why I had been heading for the garage in the first place. I was going home to pack. We were due on a plane in ... two hours now and that didn't leave much time. Skinner was sending us to Connecticut to investigate some mysterious disappearances that had taken place in the small town of Cornwall, near a 'ghost town' called Dudley Town. 

I turned to see him with a smile playing on the corners of his mouth and realized my fingers were touching my lips as though I were amazed. I hadn't even realized I'd done it. I must look like a simpering fool. I blushed. But judging by the look on his face, he was pleased with my reaction. I smiled a nervous smile and turned to unlock the door. 

As my hand turned the knob, he called to me. "Scully." 

"Yeah?" I asked softly. 

"I'll pick you up in an hour and a half. That should leave enough time to get back into D.C. to the airport, O.K.?" 

"Yeah, sure. One car is better." I pulled the door open and was stopped again. 

"Scully." His voice was soft and low, like a caress. I was powerless to resist him when he used that tone of voice. Fortunately, he didn't know that. At least I didn't think he did. 

"What, Mulder?" I still hadn't turned around to look at him, but kept facing into the open door with my back to him. 

"I want to say something else. Just so you know, on the off chance that you ever ... if you ever want ... more ... from me." He paused. "All you have to do is ask. Tell me what you want, Scully. I'll give it to you in a heartbeat. But I don't know what you want. I never do." He paused. "I know what I want. If you ever kiss me back ... " My breath hitched. "I'll kiss you for REAL and I won't stop kissing you until you can't breath." 

OH.MY.GOD. I shuddered. 

My voice was a little breathy. "Do me a favor, Mulder?" 

"Anything." 

"Change your clothes before we leave." 

"Ohhkaayy." 

"You smell like her." 

And I left the office. Quickly. Kiss me for real. Kiss me for real. He'd never said anything like that to me before. He'd never gone beyond innuendo. I didn't know whether I was thrilled or scared. Both. I was thrilled and scared. He'd just made a serious pass at me. An honest to goodness pass at me. I shouldn't be thrilled. But I was. I wanted him to kiss me ... for real. 

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod. He wanted me. Mulder wanted me. He wanted to kiss me again. It was like a mantra in my head. I couldn't quite seem to process the reality of it. He wanted me and he'd been brave enough to tell me. Big risk for him considering all my previous reactions and objections to 'fraternizing'. What the hell did that word mean anyway? 

He had kissed me on New Year's Eve. A chaste kiss that I allowed, but didn't deepen, didn't give back. He'd just kissed me now and I had been so shocked that I hadn't responded, but again, just allowed it. I should have been mortified at the breech of protocol, but whom the hell was I kidding? Protocol? My pseudo suit of armor? Between the two of us, we'd broken every rule in the book. Except that one. 

Thou shalt not have sex with your partner. 

Hoo boy! Sex? Where did that come from? All he'd done was give me two chaste kisses and I was already thinking about sex. Let's yank the old brain OUT of the gutter, thank you very much. I'm really culvert jumping today! 

I needed to get home and pack. I was going to have to face him in less than two hours and sit with him on a plane. I had to get my shit together. I was driving towards home, five minutes from the Hoover building and my cheeks were still burning crimson. This was ridiculous! 

* * *

Holy shit. I don't know where the hell I found the courage. I just kissed my partner. Again. For the second time. I didn't try to slip her the tongue but I at least found the motor skills to move my lips this time. 

She didn't pull away. She didn't flinch. She let me do it. No holiday. No occasion, except her outburst over Diana. No lightening. No burning bush. The sky did not fall down on our heads. 

But my dick is hard. Really hard. From that one, little, chaste kiss on those swollen, red, rosebud lips. They were so soft. I can still taste her lipstick on my bottom lip. 

She didn't pull away. She didn't flinch. She let me do it. O.K. Down boy. Down boy. She didn't protest when I told her what I would do, if she ever responded to me. It bothered her that I smelled like Diana. I hadn't even noticed. I needed to go home, change and grab my suitcase which was already packed and get over there to pick her up. I didn't have much time. Just now, the prospect of being jammed into close coach class quarters on a flight to Connecticut wasn't sounding as abhorrent as it usually did. 

I've been in love with her for so long. This holding back was becoming bullshit. It was just too hard. Damn the torpedoes, it was time to start wooing my partner. I didn't want to scare her and make her bolt. But I was definitely going to do my best to reel her in. 

* * *

**DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT**  
5:30 PM 

Bing! Bong! 

Shit. He's here already? What have I forgotten? I packed more casual clothes than I usually do. Info on the case indicated that we might be in for a bit of a hike. So I had jeans, tank tops, flannel shirts and hiking boots. And for some reason, I'd packed a set of black, silk panties and a matching sheer bra. For some reason? God, I was so good at lying to myself. It was just in case. It was just in case. 

I'd done nothing but think since I left work. If I couldn't get honest with him, I at least had to get honest with myself. Ahab would be appalled at the way I'd been running from my feelings and not dealing with him. 'The strong face their fears and walk through them, they don't run and hide.' His words came back to me, making me feel inadequate. 

Reality check up from the neck up, Dana. What is going on here? What has been going on here? Well, you've grown close to your partner. That's to be expected. He's become your best friend. That's a little less expected. We are total opposites after all. But strangely, our differences complimented each other. Neither of us had the same weaknesses, therefore, we could always compensate for one another. Our opposing viewpoints ended up being a good thing. Unlike most investigative teams, our opposite view points ended up giving a well rounded and even handed look at whatever we were examining. Our reports reflected 'both sides' of the spectrum, so to speak. 

O.K. O.K. So then what? Then I let myself relax around him. I let him see parts of my personal life. That's where it started. I let him see me vulnerable and scared and I let him comfort me, hold me. Not too often, but often enough that he remembered to see me as a woman and not just his partner. 

And? And I enjoyed it when he comforted me. I enjoyed it entirely too much. Face it. He had intrigued me from the start. And I would have to have been blind not to notice how handsome he was. I would have had to be blind to not notice that spectacular athlete's body. There were lots of good looking bodies out there, and even more good looking faces. 

But were the bodies combined with a superior intellect, an intriguing personality and a dry sense of humor that appealed to me? Rarely, if ever. Did those things come with compassion, tenderness and understanding? Did those things come with respect and the willingness to listen to a totally opposing outlook on life? No they didn't. Except with Mulder. In Mulder, all these things were crammed into one package and in my face practically every single day for the last seven years. 

And so? And so, I found myself allowing my eyes to look at him as a man, not just my partner. I allowed myself to enjoy his touch and rely on his friendship and understanding and comfort. And? 

And he slid into my heart. My heart? Yes. My heart. He's in there now. He's a part of me. He is the yang to my yin. I don't feel balanced when he isn't with me. I feel out of sorts and aimless and confused when we are apart. Not a good thing for a control freak like myself. 

Bing! Bong! 

Shit. Answer the door. I peek out the peephole, even though I know it's him. Life with the X-Files has taught me to be cautious automatically, no matter what. 

It's him. I open the door and he smiles gently at me. "Ready to go?" He looked great wearing black jeans, a turtleneck with some sort of chamois shirt over it and a jacket lined with lamb's wool. He looked rugged and sexy. 

"Uh yeah. Oh damn. Just let me get my blow dryer." 

"Leave it." 

"Why?" 

"We're going to be out in the middle of nowhere, probably hiking. There will be no electricity. Who cares about your hairdo? Besides, it's prettier when you don't straighten it." 

I just stared at him. What? Was he now going to start flattering me with compliments every time I turned around? This was a little sudden. I didn't know if I could handle it. I found my voice finally. "And am I supposed to care whether you think my hair is prettier if I leave it to air dry?" 

He looked chagrined. "No, but a guy can hope, can't he?" 

Whoa. He was really throwing caution to the wind. This was not in our repertoire. He never flirted with me seriously. It was always just innuendo and I didn't really know how to react to these types of comments. It was too weird to hear Mulder saying things like that. Things like that were not supposed to come out of his mouth. 

"Umm. Well, ... screw it, let's go." He looked down, hiding his smile and ushered me out the door. He took my suitcase from me and closed the door behind him and followed me to the car. He was carrying my suitcase. He never did that. It was a chivalrous thing to do. He'd offered, but I always refused. This time, he didn't ask, he'd just reached over and taken it out of my hands. I glanced at him but then started walking. 

Something was shifting in our relationship. Had been for some time now. It was subtle and insidious. We were treading into dangerous territory here. Was this moving too fast for me? I really wasn't sure. Well, how much damage could he do on a plane? At least I would have the plane ride as a reprieve before we had to check into a motel. 

In matters of romance, I really had no idea what Mulder was like. I had no idea really how he treated the women in his past. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I'd seen his determination, but it had never been directed at me, not in a romantic fashion anyway. I'd given him a hint that I might be receptive when I had my outrageous reaction. He'd taken advantage of it immediately. And if I knew him, he wouldn't leave it alone until he'd investigated it thoroughly. 

Would I be able to resist a full force come on from my partner if he decided to take it that far? Did want to resist it? I had a feeling I was about to find out. 

* * *

**ON A FLIGHT SOMEWHERE OVER THE EAST COAST** 6:30 PM 

Mulder emerged from the bathroom on the airplane and sidled back to me, sliding into the seat with his cell phone to his ear. Poor guy. Last minute plans had garnered coach seats and his knees were pressed against the back of the seat in front of us. He couldn't be comfortable. 

"Yeah, about two hours would be fine." He hung up and put the phone in the pocket of his carry on under the seat. He sat back and began to squirm, trying to find a comfortable position. 

"Who were you talking to?" 

"Nobody." 

"You were talking to nobody?" 

"Nothing to concern you." 

"What are you hiding?" 

"Moi?" he asked with exaggerated indignation. 

I smiled and let it go. "You're really uncomfortable, aren't you?" 

"You think? What was your first clue?" I chuckled and lowered the armrest between our seats. He raised his eyebrows in question. 

"Stand up and step into the aisle." 

He did as I asked, obviously perplexed. I stood and pulled the pillow out of the overhead rack and tossed it against the window of the plane and stepped into the aisle. "Sit in the window seat." 

"Huh? If I thought I was cramped in the aisle seat, it will be even worse in there." 

"No it won't." He looked at me skeptically. 

"What are you up to Agent Scully?" 

I said the magic words. "Trust me." 

He looked at me for a second longer, then slid into the window seat. I sat in the aisle seat. "And the pillow is for?" 

"Your back." The light bulb finally went on in his head. He smiled and swiveled in the seat so his back was resting against the side of the seat and the window. His legs slanted to the floor on a forty-five degree angle. 

"Ahhh," he sighed and his head tipped back. "Better already." I reached down and grabbed one leg. "Scully, what are you doing?" 

I grinned. He was watching me curiously now. I lifted first one leg and then the other and placed them in my lap. His eyes went wide and then he smiled wide. "Better?" I inquired. I was quite pleased with myself. It was bold of me to initiate this contact. 

"You're the best, Scully. What would I do without you?" 

"I don't know. What would you do without me?" I asked playfully. Was I really flirting with my partner? 

His smile faded and I suddenly felt alarmed. What had I said? He simply said, "That doesn't even bear thinking about." 

I realized he was remembering when I had been gone, kidnapped by Duane Barry, kidnapped by the consortium and taken to the Antarctic, and all the other times we'd been separated. Skinner, the Gunmen, my mother had all told me how frantic and devastated he was. I felt my heart twist a little remembering their words. 

My mother; 'He was determined to find you, Dana. He refused to accept that you were gone for good.' Byers; 'He went nuts, beating the shit out of himself for not protecting you.' Frohike; 'He almost got himself killed on that stupid sky lift on that mountain trying to go after Barry, knowing that mental case had you.' Skinner; 'He tried to quit the Bureau, Agent Scully. Even the X-Files didn't hold any interest for him anymore. He can't do it without you. Not anymore.' She closed her eyes. Langley's wild supposition, 'You're his woman, Dana. He was mental without you. We worried he was going to do something stupid and hurt himself.' I remember objecting to be referred to as 'his woman.' Then Mulder himself after he was pulled from the Burmuda Triangle: 'Scully ... I love you.' 

Did he mean it then? Or had it been the trauma of his experience and the drugs making him want to cling to me and claim me. Oh man, I'd forgotten all about that! Did he love me? Was that possible? We were certainly best friends. We were certainly woven into the fabric of each other's lives. But love? Well, yes, one could love a friend. I love him as a friend, certainly. But that was different from being IN LOVE. Am I in love with him? In love with him? I swallowed hard, not able to answer the question. His soft, low voice cut through my reverie. 

"Hey, Scully, I didn't mean to kill the party. Snap out of it." I opened my eyes and turned to him, smiling to reassure him. 

"Sorry, just thinking." 

"About what?" 

"Nothing that concerns you." Liar. 

"What are you hiding?" he teased, using my own words. 

I smiled again, suppressing my laughter. I loved it when he teased me. I pretended to be stricken by his immaturity or disgusted by his adolescent innuendo, but I actually loved it. I would never tell him though. 

I played along. "Moi?" I asked, mimicking him. He laughed now. 

"O.K., Scully, you show me yours, I'll show you mine." 

"Hmm, I don't know. Mine's probably more interesting." 

"Mine's probably more shocking." 

"You think so, huh?" 

"Yup." We looked at each other and shook our heads at the same time. My arms were draped over his legs. The heat of them was flooding into my lap and I realized that I was enjoying the feeling of his warmth. Just touching him, in any way always seemed to make the tension flow out of my body. I wanted more but didn't know how to ask, or if I really should at this point. 

"So, who were you calling?" 

"FTD." He said this with a perfectly straight face. 

"The flower delivery service?" I asked, sounding skeptical. 

"Yes." 

"What for?" 

"What does one generally call a flower delivery service for?" 

"Flowers." 

"Your investigative skills never cease to amaze me, Scully. Can't put anything by you." 

"Felt like brightening up yet another dismal hotel room for yourself, Mulder?" 

"Nope." 

"Sending your mother flowers? Is it her birthday?" I was purposely stringing him along, secretly a little excited at the prospect that he would buy me flowers. God help me. Was he going to start courting me? After all this time? I didn't want to assume anything. 

"No, not for my mother." 

"Then who?" 

He just kept looking at me, a smile threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth. "One guess." 

"Me?" Damn. My voice sounded breathy. 

"Guess you'll have to wait and find out." 

"No fair. If I'm gonna tell you mine, you have to tell me yours. All of it!" 

He smiled. "Yes." 

"Yes what?" 

"I ordered flowers for you." 

I just looked at him. "Are you serious?" 

He looked right back at me. "Oh, I'm veerryy serious, Scully." This Mulder that didn't back down was a bit disconcerting. I saw the challenge in his eyes. They said, 'Protest, try it. Deny that it pleases you.' 

All I could do was nod. He looked away for a moment, then asked, "So now that you've made me ruin my surprise, what were you thinking about? You looked all serious and sad." 

"I was thinking about some things that people told me. I never really verified them, but I have no reason to believe they aren't true." 

"You, Ms. Science, not verifying something? That's a switch. Maybe the eighth wonder of the world." I smirked. 

"Yeah, well, it would have been awkward to verify these things." 

"How so?" 

"I would have had to ask you." 

"Me?" 

"And I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. Ahab always told me not to ask the question if I didn't want the answer. I should always be prepared to hear what I didn't want to hear. Prepared to accept whatever I would hear. I've lived by that for a long time, with regard to personal relationships anyway." 

"And we have a personal relationship?" 

"Of course, we're best friends, aren't we?" 

"Yes. So, would it still be awkward?" 

"Yes." 

"But are you willing to accept the answers anyway, whatever they may be?" 

"Maybe." 

"Maybe?" 

"Yes, I think so." 

"Fire away, Scully. I'm curious what could possibly be so serious that you would be afraid to ask me about it." 

"I didn't say I was afraid, I said it would be awkward." He was the one to flash the skeptical look now. "O.K., maybe I was a little scared. Still am, but I guess I'm more curious than I am scared of being awkward or embarrassed. Lord knows I've done my quota of embarrassing things for the day so I suppose it couldn't possibly get worse." 

Mulder replied, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm the one who should be embarrassed." 

"Anyway." 

"Yeah, anyway, are you going to ask me a question, or what?" 

I smirked. "No. First I'll tell you what I was remembering." 

"O.K." 

"When I came back, after Duane Barry, and had no memory and didn't even know how long I'd been gone, people said things to me." 

"What things?" 

"Things about you. I was shocked when I found out how long I'd been gone." 

"What did they say?" Something in his voice made me turn and look at him. He was nervous. Why? 

"Do you still want me to continue? You look uncomfortable already." 

"It's O.K. No, continue. It's just that we've never really talked much about that time. I mean we talked about what happened, the facts, but not ..." 

"The emotions," I finished for him. 

"Yeah." 

"Are you O.K. discussing it now?" 

"I think so. We'll see. What did they say? And who is they?" 

"Skinner, my mother, Frohike and the guys." 

"Oh swell," he said sarcastically. 

Our voices were subdued but still steady. "They told me you weren't in good shape." 

"That's an understatement." 

"My mother said that you refused to believe I was dead or gone for good." 

"True." 

"Why?" 

He was silent a moment and then responded. "I couldn't accept it. I somehow felt that if you were dead, I would FEEL it. I know that doesn't make any sense, but that's the way I felt at the time. My intuition told me you were still alive. I was nuts imagining all the horrible things that could be being done to you, but I KNEW you were still alive. I can't tell you how I knew. I just did." 

I nodded. Surprisingly, I knew what he meant, and I believed him. The same thing had occurred to me when I had identified his body in his apartment. Even though the clothes were his, somehow, in the back of my mind, I knew he wasn't gone for good. At his funeral, with his mother, I'd been sure enough of it to reassure her. For a nonbeliever, I was pretty sure of the unknown at that time. 

"Skinner told me that you handed in your resignation. What would possess you to do that, Mulder? I wouldn't want you to give up just because I was gone. If something ever happened to me, I would want you to carry on. I would want you to still keep trying to find the answers." 

"What for?" 

"What do you mean, what for?" 

"The purpose of continuing to look is to give purpose to all the horrible things that have happened to us. I don't want the health problems you've suffered, the death of Melissa and my father to have been for nothing." 

"Neither do I, that's exactly what I mean." 

"But mostly, I don't want what you've suffered to be for nothing. I don't want to repay you for staying with me by being ungrateful enough to give up." 

"Then why did you want to give up then?" 

"You were gone." 

"That doesn't make sense, Mulder." 

"It made perfect sense to me. I wanted vindication for you. I want answers for you. But if you weren't here to enjoy the vindication or the answers, what would be the point?" 

"What about vindication or answers for yourself?" 

"They don't mean shit if I can't share them with you. Not anymore." He said this with such conviction and I felt the stinging in my eyes again. I sure was getting teary a lot lately. Christ, it wasn't even time for my period. Why were my emotions running so close to the surface? Was it because of that one little kiss? Was it because he had made it clear that if I wanted something more, so did he? 

"I don't know what to say." For once, I wasn't going to give him some platitude about feeling the same way, or being grateful that he cared for me so much, although I did feel grateful. It would sound lame. 

"Don't say anything." He paused, his hand coming up to his chin, the backs of his knuckles brushing his stubble as he contemplated his next words. Finally his chin came to rest on the backs of his fingers. His eyes were fixed on a point in space above his seat. "Ya know. Something's happening to me." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Lately, I've been feeling like things I've kept to myself for so long are ready to come out. It's like; I want to tell you things. I want to share things with you that I've never shared with anyone. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't expect you to respond or even understand. But I feel an overwhelming urge for you to KNOW. I don't want to keep things to myself anymore. It's becoming too heavy a burden." 

He was going to get philosophical on me in minute. Philosophical Mulder could be an intense thing. We still had about an hour to our flight though and we weren't going anywhere but to the hotel tonight. Oh boy, what then? Maybe we could talk into the night. Could I keep it at talk? Did I want to? We were going to stay at a hotel called 'The Heritage Inn' in New Milford, Connecticut, about a 45 minute drive from 'Dudley Town. Sounded quaint. After a moment he continued. 

"But Scully, I don't want to make you uncomfortable around me. I don't want you to feel pressure to respond or reciprocate, or anything of that nature. And I certainly don't want to do anything to interfere with our friendship. So if at any point I say something to you that is making you uncomfortable or that you aren't ready to hear, tell me. O.K.?" 

"I will. Since when do I ever keep my mouth shut?" He smiled at this but still stared off into space. 

"You keep your mouth shut a lot, Scully, and don't think I don't know it. I know there are times when you just want to blast me, but you don't. You hold your tongue for the sake of peace. I want you to know that I appreciate it. You know how obsessed I get sometimes. And when I'm on a roll and putting things together in my head, I don't always think about HOW I'm saying things, you know? I don't think about how they will SOUND to others. I just need to hear myself talk sometimes. But I'm beginning to realize that a lot of what I do and think doesn't make any sense to you." 

"What else is new? I know you're able to make leaps of logic I can't make. I know that you have an intuition that I don't have." 

Another tender smile. "No. It's not that you are incapable of understanding. It's that I don't bother to explain where I'm getting my ideas or my information. I don't explain all the links in the chain, I just jump from the first to the last link and don't tell you all the stuff that ran through my head in between." 

"So start telling me. I probably still won't be able to keep up." I said this in a joking manner, but he must have heard something in the tone of my voice. That niggling little self-doubt demon was rearing its ugly head. Deep down I had always felt inferior to Mulder's intellect and had used my rigid thinking and science to armor myself against those feelings of inadequacy. If I could not come up with solid evidence, I could discount his theories with the righteousness of a scientist and it somehow made him less threatening, less overwhelming. 

"You always keep up with me, Scully. You streak past me in a lot of ways. I get stalled letting my personal feelings get in the way a lot. You rarely do that. You have that wonderful ability to detach yourself from situations so that you can look at them objectively. I can rarely do that. That's why criminal profiling was slowly driving me insane. I couldn't detach." 

"Look, Mulder, I know that I'll never be as smart as you and that's O.K." 

"Stop it, Scully. You're every bit as intelligent as I am. We just think differently. We believe differently on a lot of subjects. Partly because of our individual histories, partly because I'm a man and you're a woman." 

I looked at him when he said this wondering exactly what he meant by it. He saw the question on my face. It was a wonderful thing that we didn't always need words to communicate. But I was getting the feeling that we needed to use more words. If for no other reason than hearing ourselves helped to put things in perspective and in a frame of reference that we could quantify. At least that was true for me. "Scully, I'm not referring to one sex being better or worse than the other or more or less adequate. Let's face it. Men and women think differently. Often they arrive at the same conclusion. But the path they take to get there is completely different. Wouldn't you agree?" 

"Yes, I guess so." 

"And I hate it when you talk like you have no faith in yourself, or when you compare yourself to me. There is no comparison to be made. It's apples to oranges. We think differently. Different doesn't mean wrong. It just means different. We, as friends, I think have a real gift between us." 

"What's that?" 

"We can agree to disagree and be O.K. with that. We are confident enough in our friendship with one another that we know that disagreeing with each other is not going to jeopardize our friendship. We can even fight like cats and dogs and we KNOW, without a doubt, that we will still be friends. Our friendship isn't based on agreeing about everything or having a lot of common interests. Our friendship is unconditional and I think that's a rare and beautiful thing." 

"What is it based on? In your mind, tell me how you think of it." 

"It's based on mutual respect and trust. We trust each other to be honest with one another. We trust each other to cover each other's back. We trust each other never to betray the other. Therefore, we are able to RESPECT each other's different opinions without having to agree on them. It's O.K. with me that you don't agree with me on everything. That would be boring, Scully." He paused as though deciding whether to say something or not. I could see the minor struggle go on in his face. 

"Say it." 

He looked at me then, acknowledging that I had read him correctly. "Diana was boring." 

That statement shocked me. And despite my best efforts not to react, my jaw fell open and then I took a deep breath and snapped my jaw shut. "How's that?" I finally managed to ask. 

He chuckled at my reaction and that, strangely, did not upset me. "I was wondering whether to mention her name or not. I don't want to upset you. But she's a perfect example of someone that bases friendship on common interest and agreeing on things. She always thought that if she agreed with me and went along with me, that I would like her, that I would care for her." 

"And you didn't?" 

"Oh, I cared for her at one time, but not for the reasons she thought. I didn't care for her because she was 'on my side'. I didn't care for her because she followed me like a sheep. I cared for her because she made me feel lovable." He sighed. "But she was boring. She didn't stimulate me intellectually in any way. 

"You stimulate me all the time, intellectually ... and in other ways too." I felt my face getting hot. Damn my lily white skin! He continued as though I hadn't reacted. "She was also dishonest. Because she didn't really believe everything I believed. She just said that she did because she thought that was what I wanted to hear and she was afraid that if she disagreed, I wouldn't want her anymore." 

I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say. "But the reason I didn't want her anymore was because I realized that she wasn't being honest with me. Because of the fact that she was telling me what I wanted to hear, I couldn't trust her judgment or her advice. It was coming from a place where her reactions were to preserve the relationship, not to solve the matter at hand. She became a liability at that point to the work. And it soured the relationship. But I still wanted to make it work, talk to her about it. But then she left and that was the end of that." 

"I see." 

"Do you?" He paused. "Scully, I know that you think that I was giving her attention because she thinks more like I do than you do." 

I swallowed hard. That was exactly what I thought. I was ashamed to admit that this was the very reason that I felt threatened by her. I felt that she had an advantage I didn't have with him. It was the very reason that I was jealous of her. Even though she had no characteristics that I admired, I envied her. I was jealous that she had a connection with Mulder that I couldn't share, the bonding of similar beliefs. He watched me silently for a few moments. "That does, or did bother me. It frightened me. I thought you would eventually transfer me out. That was a fear of mine and it grew the more time you spent with her. I was afraid you'd want her by your side instead of me." 

He nodded as though I'd just confirmed all his suspicions. "You're wrong. She never validated the work like you do. She never challenged me like you do. But mostly, I just never felt for her, anything like what I feel for you. I was simply giving her the benefit of the doubt because I figured I owed her that much. It would be the worst kind of macho cad for me to discount her professionally just because our personal relationship was over. 

But Scully, it's exactly because you DON'T agree with me on every little thing that makes you so interesting. You challenge me and you are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and be honest with me about what you think. I don't ever have to guess whether or not you agree with me. It's no mystery. You tell me exactly what you think of my wild theories. And while that may exasperate me from time to time, it's the very thing that makes you so intriguing to me. It's the very thing that makes you so strong in my eyes, so vital, so refreshing." 

I looked at him again. I was a little embarrassed. I never thought about our relationship in this manner. I never considered exactly what it was about me that he liked and disliked. I just went with it because it seemed to happen so naturally. Ahab had raised us all to be independent thinkers and follow our hearts. But that didn't mean that I didn't yearn from time to time to be a part of the pack. It didn't mean that I didn't pine for acceptance and approval from the people that I cared about. It didn't mean that I wasn't insecure about my place in the world sometimes. 

"I never thought about it, Mulder." 

"Thought about what?" 

"What you like about me or don't like about me." 

"Want a list?" he teased. 

I smiled at him. "Maybe some other time." He returned my smile. "This conversation has really gotten off track. 

"We do that sometimes." 

"Sometimes, Mulder?" He chuckled. 

"So what else were you thinking about?" 

What should I say? "Well, the guys said that you were pretty torn up when I was gone. They said that you were a little crazed and very depressed. I didn't know how much to believe. I know they can be awfully melodramatic sometimes." 

"So what do you want to know?" 

"What happened to you when I was gone?" 

"I went nuts." 

I shook my head sadly. "Define nuts, Mulder." 

"Hmm." I waited patiently while he gathered his thoughts. The silence stretched. 

"You know what? You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable with it." 

"No, no. I'll tell you. I'm trying to think of how to describe what I was thinking at the time, what I FELT." 

"That's a toughie for both of us, it seems." 

He nodded, agreeing with me. "Let's see. I think it would be fair to say that I could think of absolutely nothing else. I wasn't interested in anything to do with the X-Files. I wasn't interested in going anywhere or doing anything that didn't have to do with finding you. I was completely depressed and felt totally helpless. The only thing I could think about was finding out where you were and getting you back." 

I waited. I didn't figure now was the time to interrupt. This silence wasn't uncomfortable like the last one though. He sighed. "I did a couple of things that I'm not proud of during that time." 

"Like what?" 

"I'm not sure I'm ready to tell you about that part of it. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready." 

"That's O.K. We all do things when we're not proud of sometimes. When people are depressed and grieving, they often act out of character." 

His laugh was self-deprecating this time. "That's an understatement." 

"Whatever you want to tell me, Mulder." He knew I would accept whatever he wanted to give me and I wouldn't ask for more. I was thrilled that he was telling me anything about that time. He'd been so closed-mouthed about it. We'd never really discussed it at any length. 

His voice was steady but thick with emotion. He still wasn't looking at me. "I think it's safe to say ... that I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest." I looked at him again and his jaw was cringing with the effort to hold back his frown, maybe tears. 

"Mulder ..." 

He turned his head to me finally, a sad smile on his face. "The boys didn't exaggerate. I was off my rocker. Everything just seemed pointless. I couldn't feel anything anymore. After my initial rage and anger wore off, I just went numb with grief. And then ... and then..." 

"What?" I prompted. 

"I knew the cheese was sliding off the cracker." I smiled at his metaphor. "I just didn't care anymore, but I wanted so badly just to FEEL something, anything, again. I remember thinking that if I couldn't FEEL something soon, I might as well end it all." 

"Jesus, Mulder!" 

"I was that depressed. And I blamed myself for not being able to save you. Oh god, Scully, when I got that message on my machine, you crying out for help ... the bottom fell out of my world in that instant. I knew I was already too late even as I broke every traffic law from Arlington to Georgetown." 

"It wasn't your fault and there was nothing that you could have done differently that would have changed the outcome." 

"Maybe. But I needed to feel. And so I ran out and found myself someone to save. I wasn't consciously thinking of it this way at the time. But now I can see that I was thinking that if I could save someone else, maybe that would redeem me, in your eyes where ever you were or in my own eyes. I don't know." 

"I take it this is the part where you went and did something you're not proud of." 

"Yes." 

"You don't have to tell me." 

He was silent a moment. "I don't want to have any secrets from you, but I'm so ashamed of what I did. It bordered on retarded." 

"I doubt that. You don't need to be ashamed, Mulder and you don't need to tell me. I totally over-reacted earlier to ... seeing you with her. I think I know why now or I've always known and just now come to terms with it." 

"Why?" 

"Can I save it for later?" He smiled, nodding in the affirmative. 

"I went out to California to help solve a case where victims were found drained of blood." 

"Oh, brother, I can see it coming now." I was trying to tease him but the look on his face was total disgust, for himself. "Oh, Mulder, I'm sorry. Forget I said that." 

"It's O.K. It's every bit as bad as you think. And you'll be incredulous." 

"What did you find?" 

"Vampires." 

"Vampires." My voice was flat. I was not going to give into the urge to scoff. This was obviously an important story he needed to tell and I had the feeling that vampires were not going to end up being the point. 

"Yes, vampires. Don't say it. I know. Belief in vampires is even weird for me. And I didn't believe. I knew of a disease that made people want to ingest small quantities of blood and that these people were often mistaken for vampires in folk lore." 

"I've heard of it." 

"Yeah, well I figured that's what this was, or some out of control cult members or devil worshippers. They were leaving bible quotes and references in the wake of their crimes, referring to themselves as a holy trinity." 

"And?" 

"And I had a hunch and checked all the blood banks for recent hires and located one of them. He was guy in his mid-thirties, totally whacked. He spouted off about eternal youth and needing blood to survive and how fire and maybe sunlight could kill him, but nothing else could. He was eternal, yaddada, yaddada, yaddada." 

I nodded. 

"We put him in a cell and I had a go at him, getting nothing. I told the cops to play along with him and if he wanted to talk when the sun came up, to cover the window and call me. I don't think I'd slept in three days at that point other than to dose." 

"What happened?" 

"He didn't want to talk." 

"And that means ... what?" 

"This is the part you won't believe, but I swear it happened and I was just as shocked and incredulous as you're going to be." 

"Tell me." 

"The sun came up, came through the bars on his window and he ... he burned to a crisp." 

I stared at him wide-eyed. He nodded. Unbelievable. "I did NOT believe in these creatures. For once, I was the non-believer. I hadn't even considered he was for real." 

"That's uncharacteristic behavior for you right there." 

"Low blow, Scully." I smiled to be sure he knew I was teasing. He smiled back. 

"The medical examiner that came to the scene used a lamp and some hocus pocus and lifted some ink off the back of the guys hand that led me to an underground club full of people who considered themselves vampires or at least were into blood sports of some kind. The place was called 'Club Tepes'." 

I waited. 

"I met someone there." 

Oh god. I knew what he was going to say. "A woman?" 

"Yeah." 

"And?" 

"She was involved with Mr. Extra Crispy and whoever the third one was." 

"Involved?" 

"To make a long story short, he'd been her boyfriend, he'd roped her into this lifestyle and she was afraid. She wanted out but was afraid he'd get her if she tried to leave or even hinted at revealing him." 

"So you decided to save her." 

"Yes I did. What an ass. She asked me about you." 

"How did she know about me?" 

"I wore your cross." 

"You did? Why?" 

"Yes, because it was all I had of yours that I keep with me. At first, she thought I was wearing it for protection and laughed at me." 

"Protection against vampires?" I laughed, I couldn't help it. 

He just continued. "I asked her to leave with me and let me protect her. She wouldn't go." 

"So you ..." 

"So I stayed." 

"Ahhh." 

"I haven't heard the retarded part yet so I guess this is where it comes in?" 

"Yeah." 

"I take it you didn't just sleep on the couch and listen for burglars." 

"No." 

"Ahhh." I really didn't know what I thought about that. Curiously, I wasn't feeling much of anything. 

"I'm not proud of it Scully." 

"You slept with her, with a stranger." It was a statement. I already knew the answer. 

A beat of silence. "Yes." 

"Did you feel anything?" 

Another beat of silence. "Not much. It was a band aid for a couple of hours until Mr. Extra Crispy himself showed up." 

"The dead vampire?" 

"Yup." 

"He showed up?" 

"Yes." 

"What happened?" He looked a little surprised that I wasn't questioning this scenario or that I wasn't reacting to the fact that he had slept with her. The idea made me cringe, but she was faceless and so didn't affect me like Diana did. And I didn't want this to degenerate into a discussion about what was real. One thing I realized through working with Mulder. If you believed something strongly enough, then it was true for you. And whether it was reality or not didn't really matter. It determined your actions and so was a valid reality for you at the time. 

"He tried to kill both of us." 

"Do I want the details?" 

"No." 

Silence again. "Is that the end of the story." 

"No. She finally killed him by lighting him and consequently the whole house on fire. It was the only thing that could totally destroy him." 

"So you two had to explain this to the police." 

"I had to try." 

"Just you." 

"Yes." 

"There more, isn't there?" He nodded and I saw tears in his eyes. What or who they were for I couldn't say. 

"She killed him by lighting herself on fire. She did it so I could get away. She thought she was doomed anyway, that there was no escaping him." He let out a little sob. "I've never talked to anyone about this." 

"Oh Christ, Mulder!" His eyes closed and his jaw quivered again with suppressed tears. Then a sob released and his hand pressed to his forehead in an effort to stop his reaction. His fear of fire! That must have seemed like the worst kind of sacrifice to him. The guilt he must have felt! And if I knew him at all, he felt responsible for her death. 

Before I knew what I was doing, I had lifted his right leg over my shoulder and behind my back. I slid between his legs to clasp my arms around his waist. His arms went around me and I held him as he cried quietly, his chest shaking against mine. He finally calmed and I sat up. Then I stood and grabbed the blanket from the overhead compartment and returned to my former position, pulling the blanket over both of us. He seemed surprised I was coming back to embrace him again and gasped when I laid my head on his chest and slowly pressed my lips to his collarbone. "I'm sorry, Mulder. You probably blamed yourself for that too." 

Softly he replied, "How could I not? Not only did I not save her, finding me there was probably what got her killed." 

"No. I won't believe that. You were trying to help. She made her own choices. You needed the comfort yourself. You were probably a comfort to each other. And if she was able to give you comfort and make you want to keep going and stay alive, then I owe her a debt of gratitude. I don't even want to think what I would have done if I'd woken up and found out that you were gone." 

We held each other tightly then. He whispered, "You're are a bigger person than me, Scully. You have to be the most generous, forgiving person I know." 

"Hardly." 

"I can't believe that didn't disgust you. It disgusted me." 

"You could never disgust me, Mulder." 

We were silent for a time, just settling into the warmth of each other's bodies and drifting in and out of a doze. His lips fell to my ear and his breath made me shiver. He whispered softly in my ear. "Just so you know, Scully, she is the only person I've been with ..." 

"What do you mean the only person you've been with?" 

He breathed into my ear again. "Since you came into my life." 

Now it was my turn to gasp. Could that be true? I'd been sure he'd been with Phoebe, and I was reasonably sure he'd been with Diana at some point. He wouldn't lie to me about this, would he? No, he wouldn't. 

"Why are you telling me this, Mulder?" 

"Because I wanted you to know." 

"Why?" 

"In case it was important to you." 

"In case...??" I lifted my head off his chest to look at him. He was looking at me. His face was a bit sheepish and he shrugged. 

"Just one of those things I wanted to tell you and don't expect you to respond to." 

His lips were so close, a mere inch or so away as he held my gaze. I whispered back. Somehow a normal voice seemed inappropriate, even though none of the passengers were paying any attention to us. "What if I want to respond?" 

"Then you can. But you don't have to say anything." 

"I didn't say I wanted to SAY anything. I said I might want to respond." 

His eyes widened a little. Even with the sallow light of the overhead lamp casting his face in shadow, I could see his eyes change color and go from dark hazel to bright green. Then his pupils dilated slowly as he breathed into my face, his breath quickening. He licked his lips and I was all done. Screw this coy bullshit. I wanted to kiss him again. 

I let my lips drift toward his. He went completely still, waiting. I smiled just before I pressed my lips to his softly. He opened his mouth slightly and puffed a couple of shallow breaths into my mouth, still waiting. His lips captured my top lip gently and slid away slowly. I suppressed a moan at the wave of arousal that washed through me, leaving me warm and slightly light headed. What the hell? He hadn't even really kissed me yet. I whispered, "Kiss me." 

He shook his head ever so slightly in the negative, his lips brushing mine as he did. Then he whispered back. "No, YOU ... kiss ... ME." 

I knew what he was asking. Both of our previous kisses had been initiated by him. And I had not responded in any significant way. He was asking me to make this next move. He needed to know I wanted this and wasn't just responding out of pity or to comfort him. He wanted me to initiate this. I knew what that meant. It would be saying that I wanted more from this relationship. The way he had said the same thing to me in so many words. He wouldn't do a thing unless he knew that I wanted the same things. He hadn't said it straight out, but he didn't need to. 

He wanted more. He needed to know that I wanted more also. He wasn't going to try to kiss me again. I needed to respond to him, just like he'd said earlier. He blinked slowly, still not moving away but not moving forward either. I decided that if I was really going to do this, then I was going to do it right. I was through with these dangling threads of doubt, these unanswered questions between us. 

I was through lying to myself and I was tired of the tension, the jealousy. I was tired of not taking what I knew in my heart I wanted. The waiting was over. I could make him mine, 100 %. All I had to do was lean in and take his lips with mine. 

I smiled my best seductive smile, slowly. His words came back to me. 'If you want more, all you have to do is ask. He gulped but that was his only visible reaction. I whispered again. "Mulder." 

"Yeah?" 

I let my lips brush his as I spoke. "I want more." 

He barely had time to gasp and I laid my open mouth over his and slid my tongue into his mouth. This time, there would be tongue. He groaned into my mouth. The deep and resonant vibrations flooded my body and I felt myself grow moist and throb between my legs. His hands slid up my sides and brushed the sides of breasts. Both nipples were hard in an instant. 

Our tongues lapped over and around each other almost in slow motion. He kissed me harder and lapped at my teeth and gums, nipped at my lower lip and then swept inside again, painting the roof of my mouth with that long tongue. I moaned and pulled him tighter against me. 

He didn't lie. He pressed my mouth open wide with his and kissed me with hunger and a passion I knew I'd never elicited from any other man that had ever kissed me. Oh God, how he wanted me! I couldn't believe how excited that made me. Mulder wants me. Mulder wants me. Oh God, he really wants me. So sexy. He's so damn sexy. And he wants me. 

As he'd said he would, he kissed me until I finally couldn't breath. My nasal passages were dry from sucking in hard breaths through them to maintain my lip lock on his mouth. I gave as good as I got or at least I tried. Apparently it was working because I could feel him hot and hard against my stomach. I pulled away; feeling flushed and light headed. He put his forehead on mine in a familiar gesture while we panted for air, letting our hearts return to a semi-normal rate. "Oh my God, Mulder." 

"Yeah, that's putting it mildly," he panted. He was grinning like a maniac. 

"What are you grinning about?" 

"I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I've wanted to do that for sooo long." His face was full of awe and disbelief. Joy was written in every line of his face. I'd made him happy. That thought filled me with peace. This was right. This was so right. 

"Believe it." I kissed him gently and withdrew his lips chasing mine as I pulled away. I chuckled quietly and he did too. "We need to stop though." 

He gave me an exaggerated pout that almost killed me it was so pathetic. "Mulder, we are on an airplane." 

"You don't say?" He asked innocently. 

I smacked him lightly on the arm. "I don't want to start something I can't finish." 

"We could finish." 

"I don't think so." 

"Want to join the mile high club, Scully?" 

My jaw dropped until I realized he wasn't serious. He was teasing me. 

"I am not going to have our first time be in a rest room." 

"That would be substandard," he quipped, "even for me." 

"But I wouldn't mind cuddling and catching a few Zs until we land." 

"Deal." I snuggled in with my head tucked under his chin as he held me gently, his warm hand sliding up and down my back in a gentle caress. 

Then he whispered to me again as he readjusted the blanket around us, tucking it under his hip to anchor it. "Does that mean you are willing to finish this later?" He sounded so hopeful I almost laughed, but tamped it down. 

"We'll see." 

"We'll see?" 

"Let's take this one step at a time, Mulder." 

"O.K." He sounded disappointed. 

After another few moments of silence, feeling mischievous, I teased, "I don't think I'll keep you waiting too long though." 

"Good to know. Because Scully?" 

"What?" 

I felt his lips move in my hair on the top of my head as he whispered, "I want you so bad I could scream." 

I shivered at his words. I knew that from his reaction to my kiss, but hearing it was just as exciting. "Good." 

"That's a good thing?" 

"Oh yeah." He smiled into my hair and we both settled in and dozed off. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 2 (NC-17)**  
**THE HERITAGE INN**  
**NEW MILFORD, CT**  
09:00 PM 

The Heritage Inn was a nice place. They served a continental breakfast downstairs in the morning. I was looking forward to that. We finally got here after renting a car and driving an hour and half from the airport. There was still a half-hour to forty-five minute drive to the place we have to check out. The towns are small out here and there are constables, but not much in the way of local police. Although New Milford does have a police department, the State police tend to patrol most of the small towns without their own police force. 

I took a shower and settled in on the bed in my boxers to read over the case file. My heart wasn't in it so I laid it on the bedside table and reclined, closing my eyes. Waking up on the plane with Scully sprawled on top of me was a wonderful experience. It felt so ... easy and natural to have her there cradled in my arms. I woke before her and watched her sleep for a while. It's one of my favorite things to do. I endured my aching back and the numbness in my leg to keep her there for as long as possible. I didn't want to let her go. But we were landing and I finally had to wake her up so she could buckle herself in for the landing. She hates the landings and take-offs. This time, after buckling in, I slid my arm around her shoulders and leaned her into my torso. My left hand covered the one she had on the armrest between us. She let me do it and leaned her head on my shoulder, relaxed as we landed. 

I could get real used to that kind of stuff. I'm a tactile person. She knows that. But I'm also a romantic. She doesn't know that. She 'oohhed and ahh'd at the dozen roses I got her. Six were red, six were yellow. They were delivered before we got here and were waiting for her at the desk when we checked in. She thanked me and actually blushed, even though I'd told her earlier that I'd gotten them. She didn't seem any less pleased for the lack of surprise. She flushed when she saw me enjoying her enthusiasm. I love it when she does that. 

I just heard her shower shut off next door. I left it up to her whether or not she wanted to come in here when she done. I don't want to push but I'm anxious as hell. I want to hold her again. I want to do a lot more than that. I promised myself that I wouldn't get pushy. It's difficult though when one kiss gives you a hard on that won't go away for at least a half an hour. 

Christ, I'm horny too. Let's face it. It's been a long time since I got laid. And the last experience wasn't exactly great. I'd had better orgasms masturbating than I'd had with the vampire girl. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. My head was not present and accounted for with us in the room. My head was grieving and I was wishing she was Scully. God, I was such an ass. I'm lucky I didn't catch anything for Christ's sake. 

So I lay here thinking about everything that has happened in the last twelve hours. Damn Diana. What was she thinking? I really didn't think she would act like such a hussy and throw herself at me, knowing it wasn't what I wanted. Shows how well I can read women. I had thought that I had made it perfectly clear that I was not interested in a personal relationship with her again. 

But some good comes out of everything. That little scene was the catalyst for a second kiss with Scully. And it gave me a glimpse of something I'd been hoping for. For years now, I'd been waiting to have one little hint from her that she was interested in something more than friendship. The hint never came. For the past very, long five years, I saw nothing. I got tired of being disappointed and finally gave up. I accepted that it wasn't going to happen. I resigned myself to 'just friendship' with her and determined to be grateful for that much. Most of the time, I was successful. But there were moments when wanting to touch her drove me insane. 

She was jealous when she saw Diana kiss me. She doesn't like her, and therefore, she would be unhappy if I were involved with Diana in any way. But her reaction went way beyond being concerned for a friend's welfare. She was mortified. And ... she was hurt. I saw it in her eyes. She felt betrayed. I couldn't stand to see her hurt so I had to explain what that stupid escapade was all about. 

Diana had been pestering me for weeks to meet with her in private. I wouldn't do it, so she cornered me in the garage and tried to convince me to date her again. She said she could help me by filtering information to me from her superiors. I was immediately suspicious of her motives, but I was willing to listen. But being involved romantically with her again would be too high a price to pay and I told her so. If she was truly altruistic, and wanted to help me, she would and wouldn't want or need anything in return. That's when she kissed me. 

I absently rubbed my hand over my ribcage and winced. I had quite a bruise on my right side, covering a couple of ribs. My ferocious partner had really nailed me good. For a little thing, she packed quite a punch! I wasn't ready for that, I didn't expect it. She'd never struck out at me physically before. Then again, I'd never tried to restrain her when she was angry and upset before either. Oh well, live and learn. 

She was jealous. Oh God, I know she was, even though she never really admitted it. She had no reason to be, but the thought that she was brought a small smile to my face. If I was a praying man, I would be praying right now that my perceptions were correct and this was going to lead somewhere. I'm not, so I'm just laying her wishing, hoping. She said she wanted more. 

Just because she said she wanted more is no guarantee. I know how volatile she can be sometimes. She could change her mind in an instant. The problem was that now I'd kissed her, for real. And I wasn't going to soon forget how excited that made me. Her lips were so soft and pliant. Her tongue inside my mouth aroused me in an instant. I was getting hard just thinking about it. 

I'd given up on a relationship with her, and now she'd revived the beast in my brain. And my heart was letting go of its defense mechanisms. Keeping up the walls to shield myself from hurt and disappointment was taking too much out of me. I wasn't going to be able to shut this yearning down easily if she changed her mind. And she hadn't said how much more. Women were so complex. And Scully was more complex than most. She had layers, upon layers, upon layers. There was the capable FBI agent, the unflinching pathologist, the logical investigator, the brave woman, and the vulnerable woman. So many Scullys, so little time, I mused, then smiled at how stupid that would sound if I said it out loud. 

Just then I heard a faint knock on the door. It was not the confident three sharp knocks that usually came when she wanted entry to discuss a case. I looked at the door, "Come in, Scully." 

The door opened slowly and she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She leaned with her back to it much the way I had done in the office when I was wary of approaching her. I hadn't wanted her to feel trapped. I had a feeling Scully's apprehension was for a different reason. I could see she was not completely comfortable coming in here now. Maybe she was afraid I was expecting something. I should probably put that fear to rest. "Hey, partner." 

"Hey, Mulder." 

"Come sit." 

She approached slowly. She was wearing blue silk pajamas that hung loosely on her frame. I couldn't help looking at her chest and noticing that she wasn't wearing a bra. The silky fabric was whispering on her skin and I saw the beginnings of hard nipples through the fabric. I closed my eyes to clear them of the sight and reopened them, looking at her face. She was slightly flushed and still standing at the side of the bed. I sat up and scooted back to recline against the headboard with a pillow behind my back. I pulled a second pillow out and placed it against the headboard next to mine. "Come on, I won't bite you." 

She smiled a nervous smile at that comment. "I know, but could you, um..." 

"What Scully?" 

"Could you put some pants on?" 

"Oh! Sorry." I leaped off the bed and grabbed a pair of sweats from my suitcase and put them on with my back to her. I was smiling to myself. Apparently exposing myself was making her uncomfortable. It would serve her right for all the times she's driven me crazy with low cut blouses and high hemmed skirts. I turned around and she was now sitting on the bed, reclining against the pillow. I took up my place again. 

"So, Mulder." 

"So, Scully." I smiled at her. 

"I feel like a jerk here." 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm being such a nerd about this. You're my best friend. I've known you for seven years and all of a sudden I'm nervous coming in here to face you. Because of one kiss." 

"Three." 

"Huh?" 

"Three. I've kissed you three times, on the lips anyway." She smiled again and looked at her lap. 

"O.K., three. But that last one!" 

I smiled wider. "That last one, what?" 

She looked over at me slowly, her cheeks flushing a little pinker. "It was... extraordinary." 

"Extraordinary, huh? How so?" 

"You're not going to make this easy on me are you?" 

"Nope, can't do that." 

She chuckled, looking away from me again. "I'm really at a loss for something to say. But I know that we need to talk some more." 

"How about if I start?" 

"That would be good." 

"Do you want to ask me any questions?" 

"Yes, but I can't think of one damn question right now." 

It was my turn to chuckle. "How about if I just tell you what I'm thinking." 

"O.K., or you can ask me questions. I'll try to answer them. I'm not too good at this type of discussion." 

"I think you're selling yourself short. This is new territory for both of us. It's natural that we are hesitant and unsure of what to say. I know I am. I'm so afraid of screwing this up." 

"Me too." 

"Well at least we're both having the same concern. What I want to know is, what exactly is THIS, that I'm afraid of screwing up?" 

"I don't know, Mulder." 

"That's not a lot of help, Scully." She smirked. 

"You said you wanted more. Can you define more?" 

"Well, let's see. I guess it's pretty obvious that I find you incredibly physically attractive." 

I wasn't sure what to say to that. Physically attractive. Well, I thought she was too, but that was the least of it. I wanted her because she was her, because of who she was to me. "Well, it's safe for you to assume that I think you're incredibly beautiful and sexy. But that's not ... all of it." 

She nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "For me either." 

I lowered my voice a notch, not sure whether to ask this next question. "Scully, tell me the truth. Were you jealous today or were you just upset because someone you dislike and distrust was coming on to me and you care for me as a friend and don't want to see me get hurt?" 

She was silent for a moment, then, "Both." 

I swallowed hard. "O.K. Now we're getting somewhere. If you were jealous, then I have to assume that you ... feel something more for me than ... just friendship." 

"Yes." After another few moments of silence, I realized she wasn't going to elaborate. 

"Can you tell me exactly what it is that you do feel?" 

"Not entirely." 

"Oh. Well, remember me saying I wanted you to know things? Maybe I can tell you how I feel, if you're ready to hear it." 

"Please do." 

"I'm crazy about you, Scully." She looked at me now and I held her gaze. "Everything about you attracts me. Your mind, your compassion, your bravery, your ... body." 

She flushed pink again. I continued before she had a chance to stop me. "You've gotten under my skin in the last seven years. I know what it's like to be without you. It was hell on earth, Scully. And I know that you think that I'm overprotective of you sometimes. But try to understand. I've lost everyone I've ever loved. I've almost lost you so many times. I was crazed when you were gone, then more depressed than I've ever been in my life and that's saying something! There was a time when I could have done this alone, but not anymore. And Scully, I'm not just talking about the X-Files. I'm talking about living my life and not having anyone, specifically you to share it with. I couldn't do it." 

I paused, trying to suppress the lump that was forming in my throat. I had to get this out. My voice was a bit scratchier than when I started but I pushed on. "But not only could I not do this alone, I don't WANT to anymore. I go crazy when I think you're in danger or when I don't know where you are." 

"I have to find you when that happens to reassure myself that you're O.K. and still with me. If that strikes you as cavemanish, then I'm sorry, but that's the way I feel, because I couldn't go on without you anymore, Scully." 

"I feel ... the same way." 

She looked away now, her eyes suspiciously wet. "Scully, there's more." 

She nodded but didn't look at me. "Somehow, and I don't know how, and I don't know when, I started looking at you differently." 

"Differently?" 

"At first you were my nemesis, sent to destroy me. Then you were my tentative supporter. Then you became my champion. Then you became my friend, my best friend." 

"And after that?" 

Could I say this and not sound like a total dweeb? "Then you became my life." It came out as a near whisper. 

"Oh God, Mulder." She hiccuped her breath a little and hung her head, her hair blocking her face from me. I tentatively reached out and pushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. She shivered as I trailed my fingers down her neck and over her shoulder. I turned into her and crawled closer, facing her side and sat on one hip. My hand went to her chin and turned her to face me. I had to see her face. 

"Then I started wanting to touch you, and hold you, and comfort you. But you wouldn't let me. You thought you had to be so strong, that you had something to prove. Maybe you needed to prove something to the Bureau, or Skinner, or maybe even to yourself, but you never had anything to prove to me. You thought I would see you as weak if you broke down and needed comfort. Nothing could be further from the truth. I could never fault you for being human, Scully. And that's all it would make you. Just human. Lord knows I've been scared out of my wits on many occasions. Lord knows I've needed comfort and you've always been there for me. How could I do any less for you? But you wouldn't let me in." 

"I was afraid." 

"Of me?" 

"Of letting anyone in, especially you." 

"Why especially me?" I tried to sound neutral, but I could hear the hurt in my own voice. 

She took a deep breath. "Because I know that I'd never be able to get over you." 

"What do you mean by that, exactly?" 

"Mulder, I care for you TOO much. And if I let myself be vulnerable with you and then you decided that you ... didn't want me in your life, or that a relationship wouldn't work ... it would destroy me." 

"There is no such thing as caring too much." This was as close to an admission of her feelings as she'd ever come. I was stunned. I could destroy her? Quite the other way around, I think. "That will never happen, Scully." 

"What?" 

"I will always want you in my life. I will always NEED your friendship and support. And I will always WANT you." 

Her voice was soft. "But what if I lost you?" 

"Better to have loved and lost ..." 

"Than to never have loved at all," she finished for me. 

It had been a long time since I'd intentionally come on to a woman. And this was tricky. This was Scully. This was the love of my life. But I had to try. Something told me the time had come and if let her out of her without telling her how I felt, I'd never get another chance. She would become unsure and uncomfortable again and it would not happen. I took a deep breath. 

"Scully, I need and want you by my side at work. I need and want you by my side when I need a friend. And I just plain want you ... in my bed. Christ, Scully, sometimes I ACHE for you." 

Her eyes closed and I watched her carefully. Her breathing was shallow. I leaned in to whisper into her ear as my hand cupped the back of her neck. "I would never leave you, Scully, for any reason. No matter how bad we fought, I will always come back. And if you run away or are taken away, I'll go to end of the earth to bring you back." 

She whispered, "You already did that." 

"You're the one who could destroy me, Scully. Do you know why? Do you know what my biggest fear is?" 

"No," she breathed out. 

I slid both arms around her and pulled her into my lap. Her head was on my shoulder and I could feel her breath on my neck. I was getting hard just from that little sensation. I tipped her face up to me again. Take the plunge, I thought. Now or never. If she walks out of this room, it's all over and I may never have another chance. "I'm in love with you, Scully. I have been for a long time." 

Her eyes went wide as saucers. Maybe I was moving too fast. Don't give her time to think, I thought. "And I'm absolutely terrified that you are never going to love me back." Whew! It's out. I closed my eyes, breathing a little shaky while I waited to see what she would do, or say. 

She wasn't answering and I felt the sting in my eyes. I was afraid to open them and see her face now. I clenched my jaw and then gasped as her hand soothed over it, rubbing gently against my clenched muscles. I turned my face into her hand and opened my eyes just enough to peek at her. She looked stunned and was staring at me. "Mulder," she whispered. 

And she kissed me. And she kissed me again. And again. Each one was deeper and rougher than the last. She hadn't spoken, except to say my name. She hadn't said anything back. And at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. All I knew was the rippling joy of feeling her kiss me. 

She pushed on my shoulders and I fell back onto the bed. I gasped as she straddled my thighs and began running the palms of her hands over my stomach and up to my chest. I felt another rush of blood in my groin and stiffened to fully erect at her first touch. Her hands were cool. She was staring as if fascinated with what she saw. I laid there, quietly panting while she explored. Her hands ran up and down my arms and over my shoulders, and back down my chest. She leaned over and placed a soft, light kiss on the bruise on my ribs. "I'm sorry, Mulder." 

"Ss'okay." Oh good, I was slurring my words already! 

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry. It will never happen again." 

"Don't make promises you can't keep." 

She smiled. "I'll keep this one. I've never done that to anyone except when I was in danger. It was a knee jerk reaction to being touched. I'm sorry." 

"It's ohhh! Kay!" I shouted suddenly as her tongue rolled over my nipple and made it stand at attention. She chuckled. "You think that's funny?" 

"Mmm," she hummed against my chest and began licking her way down, carefully avoiding my bruise which was now a lovely shade of light purple. She swirled her tongue in my navel and I groaned, pulling her back up to sprawl on my chest. I winced as she squirmed and she saw it. 

"Maybe I shouldn't be up here." 

"You're O.K." 

"I think I've done enough damage for one day." She slid off my chest and knelt beside me, my arms trailing after her. 

"No, don't go." 

"Shhh, just a second." 

She unbuttoned the top two buttons on her top and then whipped it over her head, tossing it onto the floor. 

I stared, my mouth hanging open. 

I stared, and panted, feeling arousal wash through me at the sight of her perfect breasts. I knelt in front of her and we both came up onto our knees. My voice was a whisper. "You're so beautiful, Scully." 

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. But she was aroused too. I could see her pupils were dilated. I gently placed the backs of my fingers on her tummy near her navel and trailed them up her stomach. Her breathing quickened. When I reached her breasts, I trailed my hands over the outside of her firm globes. Her breasts were not large, but they were perfect and generous on her tiny frame. They were full and ripe, a gentle slope of weight showing at the bottom. Her nipples were coral pink and hardened into little nubs. I swept my fingers over them and watched as they hardened further and her areola puckered with gooseflesh. She moaned lightly. "So beautiful. Scully, your breasts are perfect." 

I pinched her hard nubs lightly and she moaned, louder this time. That was encouraging. Then she said, "I was afraid you wouldn't like them." 

Huh? "What are you talking about?" 

"I was afraid I wouldn't be ... busty enough, or ... " 

"More than a mouthful's a waste." With that, I dipped my head down and took her nipple into my mouth. She coughed out the beginning of a laugh, but then she groaned a sultry, low tone that vibrated through her chest as I licked her roughly. I began to suckle her, laving her with my tongue as I sucked her ripe little nub into my mouth. She gripped my shoulders for support. I reveled in the gripping of her fingers each time I pulled on her sensitive flesh. 

I switched to the other breast and gave it the same treatment. Her hands began sliding up and down my back, causing me to shiver and my muscles to quiver under her light touch. My groin was beginning to throb like crazy. I came up for air and she clutched me to her chest and raised her lips to mine again. 

Her kiss was hungry and passionate. I was slightly embarrassed as I began to tremble with need and excitement. If she didn't want this to go all the way then I had better stop now and cool down. We still had our pants on and I was careening out of control. Her skin was so soft. I could feel her toned muscles moving under the soft skin on her back. 

She broke the kiss and laid her lips on my neck, just resting them there as we both panted softly, trying to regain our composure. She said, "You're trembling, Mulder." 

I chuckled self consciously. "I know." 

She smiled against my neck. "You O.K.?" 

"Yeah, it's good tremble. Embarrassing, but a good tremble." 

She chuckled softly. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm flattered." 

"Scully, I need to stop this now if you don't want to, uh, keep going." 

"You want to stop?" She sounded confused. 

"No, I don't WANT to stop but I HAVE to stop or I'm not going to be able to." 

"Oh." 

"So it's decision time, partner. How much MORE do you want?" 

She was silent a moment. I held her close, my thumbs rubbing circles on her back. I couldn't get over how soft she felt. Then she slid languidly out of my arms and laid down on her back on the bed. I watched her, wondering if she was going to answer me. 

She didn't. She just hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her pajama bottoms and lifted her hips, yanking them down and off her legs. 

Sweet Jesus! She wasn't wearing any underpants! Her knees were slightly bent, with her feet laying flat on the bed. My eyes made the trip up and down her slender frame several times. I was mesmerized by the slight flare of her hips, and her well toned legs. But then I forgot to breathe. 

Her knees fell open slightly, her hands resting on the bedspread. I could do nothing but stare at the patch of curls between her legs. She calmly stated, "Breathe, Mulder." 

I sucked in a burning breath and forced my eyes up to hers. "So beautiful, Scully. You're so beautiful you take my breath away sometimes." 

She smiled wider. "You're overdressed, Mulder." 

I looked down stupidly at my sweatpants and realized I looked slightly ridiculous with my bone hard dick tenting the front of them. I yanked them down to my knees and fell backwards as I tried to yank them off the bottom of my legs, getting all twisted up. Scully began to giggle. And although it was at my expense, I couldn't help the answering smile that came to my lips. Her laughter was always music to my ears, and she rarely, if ever giggled. I sighed and put my arm on my forehead. "Christ," I uttered. "You'd think I'd never done this before." 

"Let me help." She slipped off the bed and grasped the end of one leg, lifting and pulling the offending sweat pants over my feet. She repeated the process on the other leg. 

"Uh, thanks." 

She grinned and leaned over, hooking her fingers into the waistband of my boxers. I locked my eyes to hers. She teased me. Scully teased me. "Hmm. Guess I ought to see what's in here." 

"If you like," I responded, playing along. 

"Hmm, well..." She pulled one side of the elastic down and then the other. 

I lifted my hips and she gently pulled them down and off my legs. She stood up straight then and looked me over from head to toe. I could feel a burning little path where ever her eyes landed. Her eyes stopped on my crotch and I felt the skin on the head of my cock stretch unbearably under her gaze. "Oh, my, my, my, my, my," she mumbled under her breath. 

I watched as she got onto all fours and climbed onto the bed. "Move up," she instructed. 

I hastily moved to position myself straight and in the middle of the bed. She looked like a cat stalking her prey. I was still having a hard time believing this whole thing. I mean, it had been a long time coming. And tonight, we had fumbled through our talk. But when all was said and done, we wanted each other. 

It was no surprise that I wanted her. She was gorgeous, smart and compassionate. But it was still a total surprise that she wanted me. I didn't expect this to happen so fast. I thought she would want to ease into a physical relationship. I couldn't get over it. I was wondering when the hell I was going to wake up. 

What happened to her hesitancy? What happened to her fear? It appeared to be gone. I had no idea what I'd said or done to make it disappear, but at this moment, I didn't really care. She simply looked at me a moment longer and then reached out to stroke my shaft with her tiny hand. She gripped me firmly, stroking from base to tip and spreading my precum over the head. 

I moaned so loud, I'm sure the people in the next room could hear me. I didn't care about that either. I looked down at her and she licked her lips. "Tell me what you want," she said. 

"Whatever you want. I don't care, Scully, I just want to be with you." 

"I know you do but if you could have anything, what would you want?" 

Could I ask? Somehow the words always came out sounding crude. "I want you to ...Oh God, Scully, I can't ASK." 

"Ask me." She paused. "I'll tell you a secret." I looked at her expectantly. "Being asked turns me on." 

Her words washed over me. Was she saying she liked to talk dirty? Oh man. No, she just wanted to be asked. She saw my hesitation. I was talking too long. It was hard to concentrate with her little hand squeezing me at the base of my shaft. "Say it, whatever it is, I know the words for most of these things aren't the most subtle or tactful." 

Was she reading my mind? I gathered my courage. Why was I suddenly the one who was unsure? I looked her in the eyes again and saw her anticipation there. She hummed and bit her lower lip, tugging on me slowly. I gathered my courage and just blurted it out. "Please ... please suck on me." 

She moaned, just from being asked. Well, that was interesting. Scully liked to be asked. Weird little quirk, but I could grow to like it. Then the rest of the world faded away when I felt her hot, wet mouth slide down over me as she crouched between my legs. Disbelief mingled with joy and jolting arousal as she slid up and down. "Oh yeah, Scully, oh, that's right, just like that, so good, so good." 

Her head bobbed in a slow rhythm, taking me deep into her mouth and then sucking as she backed up, only to lick the head before descending again. I reached out to touch her hair. She looked up at me but didn't stop. I wasn't going to guide her. I knew women hated that. I just needed to touch her. She started humming a , hmmm, sort of sound that vibrated my cock and made my balls tighten. I was going to lose it in about two seconds. "Scully, stop." 

She released me with an audible pop. She looked disappointed, like a kid who's had her lollipop taken away and I almost lost it right there. The temptation was great to let her continue until I came in her mouth, but I wanted more tonight. That could come some other time. She was panting. "Come here," I said firmly. 

She crawled up and straddled my legs, still holding my cock at the base. She tugged and I grunted. "You were blessed, Mulder." 

I felt one side of my mouth turn up. "You like what you see? Do I measure up?" 

"More than measure up. I suspected, but ... you're so wide." She tugged and I grunted again. 

"Glad you like it. Would you like me to put it to use?" 

"Yes, oh lord, yes." 

"Climb aboard." 

She looked at me. "What position do you want?" 

"Doesn't matter." 

"But what to you WANT?" 

Oh boy. She wanted to be asked. Was there a little kernel in Scully that wanted to be taken over, that wanted to be told what to do. Seems so, but I didn't want to push it. "Are you asking what I fantasize about?" 

"I guess so. In your fantasies, how do you take me?" 

Take me. Take me. Holy shit. I asked this next question carefully. I was getting impatient for the main event. Talking was nice, but I was getting impatient. "Do you want to be TAKEN, Scully?" 

Her eyes snapped up to mine. I watched her lids grow heavy. She was starting to pant again, her breathing speeding up. "Is that what you want, Scully?" I rolled onto my knees quickly and grasped her shoulders. I roughly crushed her to my chest, wincing slightly when she bumped my bruise. She gasped and then panted faster and her eyes darted away from mine. Oh God, was this exciting her? She gasped again. I leaned into her ear. "Is that what you like? Do you want me to TAKE you the way I've dreamed, TAKE what I want. Do you want me to take the decision away from you?" 

Her voice was almost a whimper that sent another bolt of sizzling sensation through my groin. "Yes, just take me, Mulder." I shuddered at her words. 

"Ahhh, Christ, Scully." I practically threw her down on her back and fell between her open thighs. I braced myself on my elbows and caught her head in my hands. I bent over and kissed her with all the hunger and frustration of waiting so long. I had to be inside her, SOON. 

"Do you want me to talk?" 

She nodded in the affirmative, seeming a little embarrassed, but too aroused to care. I lifted one hip and slid a hand between us to brush her folds. I wanted to make sure she was ready. HOLYSHIT! ISSHEEVERREADY! She was soaking wet and swollen. Her nether lips felt like silk and foam. "Ahhh, Scully, oh God, you're so wet." 

She hissed as I slipped a finger inside. "Yyyeeesss." 

"Scully, do you have any idea how sexy you are?" 

She shook her head from side to side. "Now, Mulder, now, please don't tease me." 

All I could do was groan, pull my arm up and braced myself. Her legs went around my waist and I pushed into her, firmly, and right to the hilt. I shuddered at the sensation of being wrapped in tight, wet silk. She shrieked and I was instantly contrite. "Did I hurt you? Oh God, Scully. I'm sorry, so sorry." 

She grunted. "Don't move. You didn't hurt me, but it's been so long." I nodded and bent down to kiss her, tenderly this time. Her walls were pulsing around me and the sensations were overwhelming. She was so small and tight, it almost made me want to flinch and retreat. But it felt too good. I could come if I let myself right now. I wanted this to last. 

I felt her walls ease slightly. She was still incredibly snug. She nodded at me. "Move now." 

I carefully withdrew leaving the head of my cock inside and pushed into her again. I braced my knees and began snapping my hips, driving my cock into her firmly, over and over again. We both began moaning in tandem. I set a steady rhythm, swiveling my hips until I found the spot that seemed to be exciting her most. I knew this wasn't the greatest position for women, but I was determined that she was going to come before I did. "Scully, you feel so incredibly good." 

"Mmm, you too. Yeah, keep going, just like that." I was stroking her steady and deep so I kept going ... just like that. We were building slowly and I was surprised to find that I wasn't ready to explode the minute I started moving. But the pace was languid and easy if a little harsh. 

I pinched one nipple firmly in time with my thrusts. She whimpered and began meeting my thrusts more forcefully and I took it as a hint to speed up. I moved up a little in the cradle of her thighs, forcing her legs higher on my waist. I sank deeper this way. We both groaned and I instantly felt my orgasm start coiling in my balls. I know all the twinges and signs. This was going to be a good one. 

She began to whimper and scratch my shoulders lightly with her fingernails. Fortunately, she didn't have talons, but she was going to leave marks there. I didn't give a damn. Suddenly, I wanted to mark her too. I leaned down and buried my head into the crook of her shoulder and began sucking and nipping at the base of her throat. She would probably freak if she knew what I was doing. 

I had to make her come and I didn't think she was quite caught up to me yet, so I reached under the small of her back with one arm and slid my hand over her luscious little ass cheek. She was straining into my thrusts now and grunting with the effort. I loved the sound of it. She practically whimpered, "Pleeaassee, Mulder, oh, please make me come." 

I carefully slid my middle finger into the crack between her cheeks and pressed lightly on her anus. Her eyes went wide. I growled, "Yes, come for me, beautiful." And I tipped just the end of my finger past her tight ringing muscle. 

The lowest, longest, sexiest groan I've ever heard peeled out the back of her throat as her head snapped back. Then she hollered my name in a long, drawn out shout as I watched her orgasm flow through her and redden her chest and face. "Mmmuuullldddeeerrr! Ahhhhhh, Ohgod, Ohgod, yeess, yeess, ooohhh soo good, yes!" 

I'd made her come. I'd really made her come. Maybe there was a God. I kept thrusting as I felt her walls grip and release me over and over again. I followed her over the edge, my body jerking out of control as I slammed into her. "Sccuullyyyyy! Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! Ooowwwyyeeaaahh! I was trembling again as my body vibrated through the end of my orgasm, spilling jet after jet into her warm cavern. Then I felt every muscle in my body go limp. 

I collapsed on her, trying to keep some of my weight on my elbows but most of it was on her and I couldn't move. She was panting and glassy eyed. I imagined I looked the same. She was a vision. "That was incredible, Scully. So good." My head flopped into the crook of her shoulder. 

"Mmm," she hummed in contentment. Her voice was a little shaky and made me smile. "I almost forgot what an real orgasm felt like." 

I smiled now against her neck. "A real orgasm?" 

"Yeah, you know, one induced by another person, as opposed to induced by my vibrator." 

I snorted. "Me too, as opposed to one induced by my hand." We both chuckled. 

I finally found the energy to roll off her and she mewled in protest. "Now I cold!" I lifted the blankets and scooted us underneath them, pulling her into my chest. She curled herself around my left side, leg draped over mine, arm over my stomach and her pretty little head on my shoulder. I sighed in contentment. This was what it was all about. 

"I'm not going to wake up in a minute, am I, Scully?" 

She snuggled closer. "Nope. I'm live and in person." 

I squeezed her to my side. "Let's get some sleep, we need to go buy some camping equipment in the morning?" 

"Camping?" 

"Yeah, we're going to have to spend the night up there." 

"Oh." She started to pull away and I squeezed her tight. 

"Where are you going?" I mentally kicked myself at the panic in my voice. 

"I was going to go to the bathroom. And then I was going to go back to my room." 

She smiled at me. "Stay with me." 

She frowned a little. "We really shouldn't." 

"Scully, we just consummated a relationship. We just made love after seven years. I want to hold you tonight. We just broke every rule in the book and you're worried about whether we sleep in separate rooms or not?" 

"Does sound kind of silly when you put it that way." 

"Go potty, grab your cell phone in case someone calls and then come back in here." 

"O.K." She slid out of bed and padded toward the bathroom. 

"And Scully?" 

She turned to look at me, wonderfully nude and unashamed. "Hmm?" 

"If you don't return, I'll just come in there after you." 

She smirked, shaking her head as if I was an impossible child and disappeared into the bathroom. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 3 ( R )**  
**NEW MILFORD, CONNECTICUT**

The morning was spent going to a sporting goods store and renting a tent, some sleeping bags. I bought a little propane tabletop stove and a couple of the small tanks that go with it. I figured I could use that in the future. I bought some canteens and rain ponchos. We were renting some stuff but I decided to buy a few things, just to have them. 

Before I was through, I'd purchased a hunting knife with a 6" blade on it and a compass in the end of the handle. That could come in handy. I picked up two little lunch size coolers and a tarp to put under the tent for protection from the cold ground. Scully purchased some supplies to supplement her first aid kit. 

Finally, we were ready to go and I purchased two of those back pack racks that go on your back and had the salesman show me how to pack all the stuff into it. I purchased an extra flashlight and some batteries and film for my camera. When all was said and done, it fit rather nicely. I took the bulk of it, but even mine wasn't too heavy. All we would have to carry would be the small coolers, which we could stock with some sodas and sandwiches. 

Next stop was the grocery store where we bought sandwich meat and bread, fruit and juice and soda to carry along. We would be a little weighted down but I figured it couldn't hurt to be prepared. 

* * *

**NEW MILFORD POLICE DEPARTMENT**  
02:30 PM 

Finally we made it to the police station where we talked with the Chief of Police, Brian Wasley and his right hand man, Captain Cole Seavers. They gave us all the paperwork in their files along with reports from the State police in Litchfield that had assisted in the investigation. 

Two couples had come to Cornwall. One couple was on their honeymoon and staying at the Hopkins Inn in Warren, a small town about 13 miles away. They were from Florida. Seemed odd anyone from Florida would honeymoon in Connecticut, but I guess we always want what we don't have. They sweated nine months out of the year and must have figured Connecticut in the fall would be a treat. 

Patsy and Carl Lehigh were 24 and 25 years old. Patsy was a secretary for a manufacturing outfit and Carl was a toolmaker at the same place. They rented a nice condo. 

The other couple was New Yorkers who had a summer cottage in Cornwall. Caroline and Keith Putnam were in 36 an 37 years old. He was a doctor and she was a marketing executive. They owned a penthouse in New York City and a house here in Cornwall. Neither couple had kids. 

Both couples had gone camping in Dudley Town, having heard the legends and looking for a little adventure. Neither couple had been heard from again. 

The Lehigh's were middle class folk and the Putnam's weren't millionaires, but they were what most people would consider rich, or well-off, depending on who you asked. So there was no connection in ages or professions or income level or living circumstances. Curios, no connections, except Dudleytown. 

The Lehigh's were reported missing by their families when they failed to report back at the expected end of their honeymoon. The Putnam's neighbors reported them missing after they didn't return from their weekend camping trip. Concerned neighbors called New York and their respective job offices to make sure they just hadn't returned to New York and slipped under their radar. No one had seen them. 

The New Milford cops along with several Troopers from the State police had gone to Dudleytown to investigate. The entrance to Dudleytown, aptly named 'Dark Entry Road' was cleared for a fire road but still only wide enough for a couple of people. A car would never make it through. They had found no bodies, but had found scattered clothes and camping gear that they had tagged and bagged neatly to check for fingerprints. There was no blood. All the cops had been spooked while there. They reported feeling taps on the shoulder, turning around to find no one there, tripping and falling on perfectly level ground as though someone had stuck out a leg and tripped them intentionally. Of course, nothing was seen. The only other evidence, neatly tucked into an evidence zip lock bag was a pile of shit. It was now labeled 'Wolf Scat'. 

Charming. 

I laughed when Scully crinkled her nose at the bag, wondering at their need to confiscate this little gem. I looked at the Captain. "Captain Seavers, does this bag of droppings indicate that you think some kind of animal could be involved?" 

He answered me calmly. "Not necessarily, but since we weren't finding anything obvious, I figured it couldn't hurt to take everything we saw. You never know what might turn out to be important. I'd kick myself if this turned out to be pack of rabid coy dogs or something I overlooked it." 

I nodded. "Good thinking. Believe me, we've seen and heard of a lot stranger things." He swelled a little at the tiny compliment. 

Scully inquired in her best G-woman voice, "There was no blood though, right, on any of the clothes or anywhere else?" Scully asked. 

"No, Ma'am, not a drop. We checked all the clothes. All the hair fibers belonged to humans, we assume they belong to whoever was wearing them. The colors match." He handed Scully some photos of the two couples. Both couples looked young and happy and carefree. I saw Scully swallow hard. It seemed that seeing carefree, happy couples was bothering her more and more these days. I felt the familiar stab of guilt at all that working with me had taken away from her. 

She looked up at me. As though reading my mind she said, "Don't even start that, Mulder." 

I smirked at her. "Sorry." 

No matter how many times she did it, it still surprised me when she knew exactly what I was thinking. It was a little freaky. I'd been told that I had a 'poker face' by many people, but somehow, Scully seemed to be able to read me like a book. 

"I looked at the Chief. So tell me about the legend of Dudleytown." 

Chief Wasley gazed at me as though trying to determine my sincerity in wanting to know. "Well, there are several. One claims that the place was cursed because of the Dudley's ancestors. There were four brothers, Abiel, Barzillai, who were soldiers from the French and Indian Wars and Gideon and Abijah. Governor Dudley put any non-puritans to death and it's claimed that one of the people he had executed cursed the Governor, the town and all his descendants. The legend grew as time went on because mysterious and horrible things tended to happen to anyone who lived in Dudleytown. 

The other legend has it that ancestors from England started the curse when they tried to unseat the King Henry in the 1500's. One story holds a Dudley ancestor responsible for the Black plague in England. Say he brought it back from the war in France, killed his troops with it and then let it loose on the English population. 

Whether they were born and raised there or lived there a short time, everyone came to untimely or weird ends. There are accounts of people going 'mad' and rambling about demons and such. Among them is William Tanner who was suspected but never convicted of killing Gershom Hollister who was found dead, hacked to pieces on Tanner's property. One story says the curse killed him, another says he fell to his death raising a barn for Tanner. Either way, a lot of people died. Lots of sickness and lots of accidents. The first Dudley's arrived in the town in 1747, although it was founded in 1738 by Thomas Griffis. It was called Owleyville at first because of the proliferation of owls in the area. Later when Dudley was the prominent name in those parts, they changed the name to Dudleytown." 

He looked at me and Scully as if to gauge our reaction. Scully smiled and said, "Go ahead and continue. We've heard a lot weirder things." 

The Chief seemed to relax under her benevolent smile. Confident now that we weren't going to dismiss this or call them all ignorant hicks. They probably got a lot of that from big city outsiders, as they seemed to be calling us around here. 

"Well, by 1800, it was a thriving farming community and produced quite a few famous people. Mary Cheney married Horace Greeley who ran for president in 1872. He lost, she was struck by lightening and then he went mad. Nice couple! There was a major's son, Ebenezer porter who ran a seminary and had chronic pulmonary disease of some kind. Andre Andrews was a prominent attorney who died of cholera." 

Officer Seavers joined in at this point. "The period following the Civil War is purported as the worst time. The town processed iron ore during the war and prospered but the people talked of malevolent spirits and specters that dogged the village. Nobody has really come up with an adequate explanation for why such a prosperous town went into sudden decline. Old Albiel Dudley made a fortune and then went mad in his later years and his fortune was squandered. He died penniless and a ward of the town. Then there was the Carters." He shivered when he said this name. 

Scully encouraged him. I decided to keep my mouth shut since she seemed to be doing a good job of getting them to open up just by smiling at them and looking attentive. I could tell that they were both trying to impress her, Seavers more than Wasley, who was probably old enough to be her father. "Go on, this is fascinating." 

I knew she didn't believe a word of it. But her acting job was commendable. She glanced at me and I suppressed the smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Well, William Tanner, who lived to be 104, he went half-crazy after Hollister died and required constant care near the end of his life. Seems lots of others went 'mad'. 

Scully kept her 'interested look' on her face. "Tell me about the Carters." 

Silence reigned for a few moments, then Chief Wasley piped up. "Well, Nathaniel Carter moved there and purchased old Abiel Dudley's house from Barzillai Dudley in 1759. He was married to Sarah Bennett and they had six or seven children, one of whom was dead before moving to Dudleytown. They only lived there for four years but then pulled up stakes and took four of the children and moved to New York. One son, Nathan was left behind. Don't know why and he's the only survivor. The wife and baby were killed in 1764, just a year later by Indians, who kidnapped the other three kids and killed Nathaniel when he made his way home. There were two girls, Sarah and Elizabeth. Sara was stark mad until her death from her trauma with the Indians and her sister, Elizabeth did eventually marry but was stricken with some illness and was a partial invalid for most of her life." 

Scully was nodding her head thoughtfully. "Wow. You guys really know the history of this place and the families. That's impressive, having all those details. Anything else?" I looked at her and smirked at her shameless attempt to stroke the two officers. She smiled back at me, her eyes twinkling. 

Seavers spoke up again. "Oh thanks. Well, we did bone up on it after these disappearances, although most folks around here know the basics anyway. It's a local legend, hell, they probably teach it in school!" 

Scully graciously laughed at his lame attempt at humor. The Chief nodded at Seavers. "Go ahead, you keep on with the story. I want to get something for these folks to take with them." He got up from his chair and sauntered out into the hallway, leaving us with Seavers. 

He nodded at us. "Well, let's see, about ten years after the Carter massacre, an epidemic struck Dudleytown and Nathaniel Carter's brother, Adoniram and his wife and child died because of that. Young Nathaniel adopted the indian way of life and his decendent Ta-Wa was a prominent advocate of Indian rights later on. 

If I'm recalling correctly, there was another epidemic in 1813 that was even worse and scores of people died in that one. By the end of the 1800's, there weren't many people left but there was a tale about an Irish immigrant and his wife whose sons were chased out of town for stealing. The mother died of tuberculosis soon after the boys ran off to escape the law. Shortly after that, the guy's house burnt to the ground. I think that was in 1901." 

I decided I had to step in here for the simple reason that I'd been quiet too long. "Is that the end of the story?" 

"No. The last settler there was a physician with a big practice in New York City who moved there by the name of William Clark. He and his wife bought the land, cleared it and built a cabin there in order to enjoy summer's away from the city. I guess they did O.K., for a few years, but then he was called into the city on an emergency. The wife begged him to return soon, acting all weird. When he came home, she was stark raving mad and all she could do was laugh maniacally. He'd only been gone for 36 hours. He padlocked up the house and left and never returned." 

"Since then, everything crumbled and all is left is the foundations and some fallen beams. It was horribly overgrown, but in recent years, some people have gone and cleared the area of brush because tourists wanted to check it out. The town didn't want to be getting sued because city folks were wandering in there and would probably break their necks." 

Scully's head tilted to one side. "Uh, no offense." 

We smiled. "None taken," I responded. So then what? 

"Well, since then, there isn't much to report except that hikers and campers have reported unusual quiet there, and feeling specters nearby. Vehicles have died at the entrance to Dark Entry Road and won't start again. Weird stuff like that. When you get there, you'll know what I mean. It's a weird place and it has a weird feel to it." 

"Weird how?" Scully inquired. 

"I can't explain it. You have to feel it. It's downright spooky, though" 

She chuckled. "Yeah, well, my partner is the King of spook.." 

"Thanks a lot Scully!" I exclaimed. I smiled to let her know I was aware that it was a tease. We all smiled. 

Seavers closed his eyes as if he was thinking. The eyes snapped back open at his next words. "Oh yeah! I almost forgot. You can't take pictures there." 

I looked at him with an inquiring eyebrow. "Why not?" 

"Too dark, and even if it's high noon on a sunny day, they don't come out. Really weird. There was a T.V. crew tried to go up there one time. They saw big black shadows and felt like they were being suffocated and none of their equipment would work. They fled. There's all kinds of stories of people seeing strange lights and glowing animals." 

Now Scully's skepticism finally made a visible appearance. "You can't be serious?" 

He looked at her with a rather blank look on his face. "I'm totally serious. I didn't say that they were true, I'm saying that's what people have said. It's up to you whether or not you believe it. There was a lot of tragedy for one small town though. I was spooked when I was up there, I won't lie to you. But I think sometimes superstition causes people to imagine things, myself included. Power of suggestion and all that." 

Scully nodded in agreement. "Exactly, I agree 100% and I think that most of these stories, the recent ones anyway are the result of exactly that. An astute assessment." 

I hated it when Scully warmed to people who shared her skepticism. I knew it was the same situation as her being threatened by Diana's agreement with my beliefs. I knew it was irrational, but at the moment, I knew exactly what she meant. 

"But there is a strangeness to the place, a weird feeling. Technically, folks aren't even supposed to go on that land. But you know, thrill seekers or kids, whatever, they can't resist checking it out. They rip down the No Trespassing signs and go on in. These two couples didn't rip down any signs but they went in. And I'm rather surprised about the Putnams. Having a house in Cornwall, you'd think they'd know it wasn't allowed and be afraid of repercussions from the locals, but I guess not." 

Scully was quiet for a few moments. Then she asked, "Officer Seavers? What do you think happened here?" 

He looked at her and shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I'm inclined to believe they went hiking and got lost in the forest, but it seems they would have found their way to civilization by now. But then again, there's over 250 acres of woodland out there and they could anyplace. And there are black bear in those woods." 

I was curious about what they had done beyond gathering evidence to investigate the case. "Has anyone flown over the area to see if they could spot them. If they saw a plane, they might do something to attract attention if they were just lost." 

"No we haven't. We don't have a chopper and chartering a plane is too expensive. This small force can't afford stuff like that. That's one of the reasons we called you in. One, because these couples are both from out of state which gives you jurisdiction. Plus you have the resources to do a manhunt if necessary. We just don't have that kind of juice. Ya know?" 

We both nodded. "O.K., let's get out there then." 

The Chief poked his head in and motioned to me. He called me over to tell me he'd put a shotgun in my trunk. I asked him how he got the trunk open and he just grinned at me. I decided not to pursue it. These country folk were crafty. It was easy to be lulled into a sense of superiority and a feeling that they weren't that bright sometimes. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was just that there environment and their knowledge were different from ours. They were smarter and more self sufficient than us in many ways with our reliance on high technology and creature comforts. 

Then I asked, "So anyway, Chief, can you spare someone to take us out there." 

Captain Seavers looked a little pale. "I ain't going in there again. I know it sounds silly. And although I'm a skeptic like your pretty partner here, that place really gave me the willies." 

Scully looked at him. "You wouldn't have to, Captain, just bring us there and point it out. We'll hike in alone. I just don't want to spend what's left of daylight driving around lost in the sticks." 

He chuckled, "I can do that. I know you folks aren't too good with directions like, 'take a left after the 4 limbed maple tree.'" We all laughed at that. "I'll lead the way in my cruiser. If you like, I could leave you the cruiser and take your car. That way you could leave the cruiser near the foot of the woods and people would know it was cops in there. They'd be less like to get curious and come wondering in that way." 

Scully raised an eyebrow. "Really? Where we come from, cop cars are like magnets for bystanders." 

Cole smiled at her, "No ma'am, not out here. Most people respect the authorities around here. You're probably not used to that, huh?" Scully nodded to indicate he was right. His tone of voice changed to that of conspiratorial. "Well, you've certainly got ALL of MY respect." 

Was he flirting with her? I turned to look at Scully. A lovely pink was gracing her neck but hadn't risen into her face yet. He was flirting with her. The bastard! I laid my hand possessively on the small of her back and turned her towards the door. I glanced at him over my shoulder and gave him my best male 'Alpha' look. He lowered his eyes. I was suddenly having one hell of a testosterone fit. 

"What's the hurry, Mulder?" Scully asked as I ushered her quickly out the door. 

"Let's just get going." 

We got in the car and waited for Captain Seavers to fetch his cruiser and pull out ahead of us. My hands were clenching and unclenching on the steering wheel. Forget it. Let it go. She was a beautiful, sexy woman. Men were going to look at her all the time. If I was going to be with her, I had better get used to it. Not that men hadn't been looking at her all along. It bothered me then too. But now that I'd been intimate with her, the thought of someone else encroaching on her made my blood boil. I was instantly threatened, and embarrassingly insecure. 

That one little comment, in that flirtatious tone of voice, had made me green with jealousy. I was feeling entirely too territorial and I knew she wouldn't thank me for it. I was rather flattered when she was jealous over me. But somehow I didn't think that she would feel the same way about it. 

After a few moments of silence as I followed the Captain down Route 202, she asked, "What is it, Mulder? Spill it." 

"Nothing." 

"It's not nothing. You won't look at me." 

"I'm driving." 

"You know what I mean, you're about to snap the steering wheel in two you're gripping it so tight. You rushed me out the door and now you're silent. Quit bullshitting me, what is the problem?" 

I sighed. "You're not going to like it. I figured I'd spare you." 

"If we are going to have an intimate relationship, Mulder, we have to start talking. And spare me what?" 

Intimate relationship. Is that we are having? "Exposure to my Neanderthal tendencies." 

"Neanderthal tend..." She paused. "Oh, I get it." 

I chanced a glance at her and to my surprise, she was grinning like a mad woman. "What's so funny?" 

"You." 

"And what's so funny about me?" 

"You were jealous, weren't you?" 

"Moi?" I asked with exaggerated drama. 

"Oh Mulder, chill." 

"Easier said than done. I just think about someone else touching you and I go nuts." 

She smiled again. "No one else is going to touch me, Mulder." 

"You sure?" 

"How could you ask me that? Of course I'm sure. But you cannot control what other people do or say, Mulder. You have to let that stuff go." 

"I'm trying. You're a beautiful woman, Scully. I know you hate the mention of that when you are working because you think it reflects badly on people's abilities to see your other talents, but that isn't true. Whether you like it or not, you are drop dead sexy and people are going to notice. If you found the cure for cancer, people would still notice your beauty. In one way, I'm happy for you and like to see you admired. I want you to be admired for your brains AND for your beauty. In another way, I feel like peeing on you." 

"Peeing on me?!" 

"Marking my territory. How primitive is that?" 

She giggled. "Thank you for the compliments, Mulder. I don't think I'm as stunning as you seem to think I am, but I'm glad you think so. But that doesn't mean everyone does." 

"Everyone does, trust me. I may not know much, but I know men and the looks they give and what they mean." 

"Do you trust me?" 

"Of course." 

"Then what's the problem?" 

"I don't trust THEM! Not as far as I could throw them." 

There was silence in the car for a few moments. Then her voice came out softly and quietly. "Mulder, if you trust me, REALLY and truly trust me, then you don't NEED to trust them." 

I looked at her then. She was watching me for my reaction as her words sunk into my jealousy clouded brain. She pointed forward, "Watch the road, Mulder!" 

I looked up and swerved back onto the road. I'd been heading for the ditch! Jesus, this was not the time to have this conversation. I realized what her implication was. If I trusted her, then I trusted that if someone were to try to be inappropriate with her, or make a serious pass at her, she would turn them down. If I trusted her to do that, then I didn't need to trust THEM. So being jealous was an expression of lack of trust on my part. Shit. Shit. Shit. I was supposed to be the psychologist here! 

"You're right, Scully. I'm sorry I acted that way. I can't promise I won't feel possessive about you ever again, but I'll try to remember that I trust you when I'm getting pissed at someone else. I understand what you're saying, but it's not 100% about trusting you." 

"It's not? How so?" 

"It's that, ... I don't know where this is going. This would be easier if I was secure in this relationship. But I'll be honest, I'm not. We've been pretty vague about it so far. So I'm not secure yet about us being a couple. It's too new, ya know? Hopefully that will improve with time ... that is if you ... want this to ... continue. I'm still afraid you will change your mind or some young charmer will rip you away from me. I don't want appear to be a... jerk. But you didn't have the greatest reaction either, when you ... saw me with ... her." 

I didn't want to say Diana's name. I was choosing my words carefully. I didn't want her to feel cornered. Cornered Scully was not a happy sight. She was silent again. I hoped she was understanding what I was saying. I was also hoping that she would give me more of an idea what was happening with us. 

She sighed deeply. Then, "Hello pot, this is the kettle?! Is that what you're saying?" I glanced at her and she was smiling. Smiling! That was a good sign. I smiled back at her. 

"The difference is I had a different reaction to you being jealous of me. It didn't upset me." 

"It didn't upset you? Then how did it make you feel? You sure felt a need to explain yourself." 

"It felt like ... like my heart got bigger." I heard a little gasp from her. "I was afraid to believe that you were jealous. I was afraid to believe that you cared about me enough to be jealous, or that you cared about me, THAT way." 

"Well, I think I answered that question last night!" 

"Yeah, you did, but you still haven't said what ... how far this is going. If... what the rules are ... or ... you said you were physically attracted to me, Scully. That's all you said and that you were jealous of Diana." 

"Rules? I don't know, Mulder. I guess we'll make them up as we go along. If you're asking if last night was a fluke, a one-night stand, I'll tell you it wasn't. I don't do one-night stands." A quick flash of Ed Jerse zipped behind my eyelids but I didn't say anything. 

"I didn't sleep with Ed Jerse," she said quietly. 

"Christ, Scully! Did I say that out loud?" 

"No." 

"You freak me out sometimes." 

She chuckled. "Why?" 

"How the hell do you know what I'm thinking all the time, it's creepy." 

"I don't know. You're not Mr. Subtle and you wear your heart on your sleeve sometimes, or your thoughts anyway. Your heart is a little harder to read, but your thoughts, well, they aren't so hard to fathom or guess at." 

"I think you're the spooky one in this partnership." 

"They do call me, Mrs. Spooky!" 

I blurted out, "Yeah, I wish." 

Silence. Oopps. That was the wrong thing to say. Stupid. Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut? I mumbled, "Sorry, Scully, I didn't mean to ... make you uncomfortable." 

"It's O.K., Mulder. I know you were just teasing." 

"Yeah, whatever." 

"Were you? Teasing that is?" 

I didn't know how to answer her. All I came up with was, "There's truth in jest. But I didn't mean for this to get all heavy all of a sudden. Just forget I said it, slip of the tongue." 

She changed the subject abruptly. "Mulder, he's turning." Good thing one of us was paying attention. I redirected my attention to the Captain's cruiser which was indeed turning left onto Route 341. We were passing 'Grampa Snazzy's Log Cabin'. It was an antique shop. God, people really named places things like Grampa Snazzy's? Too weird. You know you're in the boon docks when ..." 

"We should check out Grampa Snazzy's on the way out, what do you say, Mulder?" 

I chuckled. "I was just thinking I might be in a time warp. I honestly didn't think there were places really named things like that." 

She laughed, "I think it's quaint." 

"Quaint is one word for it." 

"What else would you call it, this whole area?" 

"I'd call it 'twenty miles past the last sign of civilization.'" 

"It's not the first time we've been out in the middle of nowhere." 

"No, but it always makes me a little on edge for the first few minutes." 

"What, no cell phone reception give you slight withdrawal symptoms?" she teased. 

"Something like that. I guess I really am spoiled." 

"He's turning again, Mulder, right fork there, by the sign for Route 45." 

"Ooo, look, Scully, the Warren Country Store and the Warren Package Store. Business! It's a veritable thriving metropolis around here!" 

She giggled again. I loved to make her smile and laugh. She was openly gawking as we traveled down the two lane road lined with trees and fields and large two story homes with nicely trimmed lawns and vegetable gardens. "God, Mulder, there are some nice homes out here! Look at that one, that's three stories!" 

"Never seen one before, Scully?" I teased. 

"Of course I have, but it's usually an apartment building. I've never seen a three story home that was a one-family. If I did, I don't remember. It's just so beautiful out here. Look at the leaves." 

We crested a slight hill in the road and what looked like mountains covered in forest appeared before us spread out on both sides of the road's horizon. Yellow, orange, red and brown leaves blanketed the horizon in a spectacle of color. I took a moment to take it in. "It is beautiful. I can see why people come out here to see it. You won't see this in D.C." 

"Or Florida either." I nodded, acknowledging her reference to the young couple from Florida that had probably come to Litchfield County to enjoy the beauty on their honeymoon. What a shame. I had a weird feeling about this case. 

"So, Mulder, do you have any theories yet?" 

"Nope, but I have a weird feeling." 

"Tell me about it." 

"No I mean, this is different. Normally I would be looking for something paranormal, especially dealing with a local legend. Those legends are usually based in some sort of fact at least concerning the events that created the legend usually did happen in some form or another. But something tells me that isn't the case here." 

"Why?" 

"I think they are still alive, Scully." 

"You do?" She sounded surprised. 

"Yeah." 

"Why? What makes you think that." 

"I don't know. No blood. Clothes were there and scattered, but nothing was torn. Their tents were still perfectly pitched and undisturbed. Something doesn't fit, doesn't jive, just doesn't make sense." 

We were both silent then for a few minutes. We started down a long mountain side as the road wound back and forth, making it's way into the bowels of a valley. Less and less houses were to be seen. We were really getting 'out there'. I felt a sense of unease and shook my head at the silliness of it. 

"What is it, Mulder?" 

"I don't know. Are we a couple?" I asked out of the blue. 

She hesitated, but then said, "Yeah, I guess we are. I don't know. We've been a couple in a lot of ways for some time now, but like you said, neither of us has figured out what is happening here. We may know what we want to happen but we are feeling our way cautiously. I'm still unsure what I'm seeking. I know I want more from our relationship. I want the physical part. It seems ridiculous to deny it now, to me anyway. I just know that I can't ignore how I feel about you anymore. Its too much damn work. It's exhausting, and I just can't do it anymore." She paused. "I will say this, Mulder. I want you, in a big way. And I don't want anyone else, haven't for a very long time." 

I felt a warmth spread through my chest at her words. "I want you too, Scully. But nobody needs to be genius to figure that out." 

She smiled. "So you're thinking that whatever is happening is happening to 'couples', and now we are a 'couple' and that puts us at more risk than we would have been in before." 

"I guess. I don't know." 

"Well, whatever is going on in there and whatever happened to those people, we want to figure it out. So if our being a couple 'attracts' whatever is in there, if anything, to us, then that's a good thing, right?" 

"Maybe." 

"You're forgetting that we are armed Federal agents, Mulder. Those couples had no weapons, except maybe a knife. You thought to bring a compass, but they probably didn't. Hell, they could just be wandering around lost. The Chief mentioned that part of the legend was people getting lost in that forest surrounding the foundations. I've been in forests like that where everything looked the same. We know how easy it is to go in circles." 

"Don't you think they would have made their way out by now?" 

"Maybe, maybe not. He's bearing left again, Mulder." I dutifully followed the deputy. The roads were getting narrower and the trees were closer to the road, some with branches twining together far above our heads to form a canopy over the road. It made you feel like you were driving through a tunnel. Breaks in the leaves allowed shafts of sunlight to penetrate the canopy and made odd looking light beams that lit up the road like a bunch of flashlights. 

"Are you having shades of 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow' here, Scully?" I joked. 

She chortled. "Oh boy, this whole legend thing is really getting to you, isn't it? They are just legends Mulder. And based in fact or not, they are based on events that happened years and years ago. Not in the present day. Today, there are very real people out there, possibly committing very real crimes. In the olden days, people were suspicious to the point of ridiculousness. Remember the stories of the Salem witch trials? People came up with explanations of things they didn't understand by blaming them on the devil or on ghosts or God's vengeance or witchcraft. It was a common thing back then. 

As we know, science and technology has explained millions of things in the past 100 years that were formerly credited to the unseen. It was there, we just didn't have the technology to see it then. People got sick, it was God's vengeance, or witch's magic. Now we know it's just germs! Think about it. You can't take these legends seriously or to heart. It may be helpful to know the events that created the legend, but you can't subscribe to the explanation of the reasons for those events. People were ignorant back then." 

"Sometimes I think people are more ignorant now." 

"How so?" 

"Sometimes I think we are not meant to always know why things happen. Back then survival forced people to get along, the pilgrims and the Indians. The Protestants, those buckle shoed kill joys were rigid in their believes, but they made peace with 'savages' in order to survive and learned in the process that people are just different, not necessarily wrong. And they helped each other with trade and barter. They also accepted a lot of what happened as God's will and moved on." 

"Yeah, so what does all this have to do with what is happening now?" 

"I don't know. I just think that sometimes things should be left alone. That unrest is caused by people poking their noses where they don't belong." 

"You mean the living are disturbing the dead and if we just minded our own business, everything would be fine?" She was incredulous and it sounded in her tone of voice. This was the Scully I had come to know and expect, always the skeptic. 

"Maybe." 

"Jesus, Mulder. You are talking about respecting the privacy of apparitions! That's absolutely ridiculous. We are investigating the disappearance of two couples here, not setting up infrared to detect ectoplasm that we should remain blissfully ignorant of!" 

I sighed at the sound of her incredulity. "Whatever, we've been over this ground before, Scully and we are never going to agree. I respect that you disagree with me. I like it. But I would like to discuss it sometimes without it turning into a pissing contest of beliefs. Do you always have to be so incredulous and sarcastic? It makes me feel like an idiot." 

I really was tired of how these conversations always ended up. I liked the fact that she didn't agree with me on everything, but that didn't mean that it always had to turn into an argument, did it? 

Her hand reached over and squeezed my thigh through my jeans. "I'm sorry, Mulder." She sounded deflated. "You're right, I don't know why I feel the overwhelming need to smack your theories down. I know you don't feel less about me because I don't agree with you." 

"I wish I could say the same." I was sad now, realizing this was an issue that had never really been resolved between us. Sure, we trusted and respected each other. And she went along with my hunches, to a point. But, did she really and truly respect my beliefs? 

"You think I think less of you because you belief in the unseen?" 

"Sometimes." 

"Oh, Mulder, I do not! I swear." 

"Look Scully, let me put it to you this way. I respect your belief in God. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in an all powerful being up there passing judgment on us as individuals and mapping out our lives. I don't believe there is a higher power up there that I need to atone to, or do penance for my sins against. But I respect that you believe that. I've never ridiculed it. I've never told you your belief in God was ridiculous or silly. It's what you believe and that's O.K. with me." 

I heard her swallow noisily. "Oh my God, you're right, Mulder. I never thought of it that way. By making fun of your beliefs, it's like I'm making fun of you as a person. What I believe is an integral part of who I am and how I behave and how I live my life. Just because your beliefs are unconventional doesn't mean that they aren't equally a part of what makes you who you are. In fact, maybe more so, because you've had to fight the tide of resistance and the conventional morays of society. I'm sorry, Mulder. I didn't even realize. It wasn't my intention, you have to know that, right?" 

"Yeah. I know, Scully. But you could disagree with making fun or ridiculing. When you reject my beliefs by verbally ridiculing them, it's like you're rejecting me and who I am. It's O.K. to disagree, but when you call my thoughts ridiculous ... " 

"No! Never! I love who you are, Mulder!" 

I glanced at her again. She looked so chagrined and contrite, it killed me. "It's O.K., Scully, I'm used to being ridiculed, and I can tell the rest of the world to go to hell, and I don't care what they think." I paused. "But I care what you think, Scully, and I want you to ... accept me ... and it hurts when you don't. I want so bad for you to ..." 

Softly, she replied, "Love you?" 

I nodded, swallowing the tears that were gathering in the back of my throat. Just as softly, "I do, Mulder." 

I glanced at her again. She was looking at me with concern. "You do?" God, I sound like an insecure, little kid. 

"Yes, I do." 

"Can you say it?" She hadn't said it last night. 

"Can you?" she shot back. 

"Yes." 

"You first, Mulder." 

"I asked first and besides, I did already tell you, last night." 

"I know, but ... " 

The words just rolled off my tongue easy as you please. "I love you, Scully. I'll never be able to tell you how much." Silence. More silence. "It's O.K., Scully, just forget it. Neither of us needs to be discussing this right now. It really isn't the time." 

Her voice was a whisper, "I love you too, Mulder." 

My breath hitched at the sound of her whispered words. She loved me too? She loved me! Holy shit. And she'd said it, barely loud enough to hear it, but she'd said it. I felt my chest tighten and reached over to put my hand on the back of her neck. I felt her shiver and delighted in the fact that she would react to that simple touch from me. I looked at her and she was hiding her eyes, looking at her lap, her fair falling in her face. I glanced between the road and her as I tucked her hair behind her ear. 

"We'll talk more later, Scully. We're going to be O.K., no matter what happens." 

"Yeah, I think we will be." She gave me the most sheepish, but dazzling smile. I could only return it. 

The rest of the trip was made in silence as I once more concentrated on my driving as the roads became narrower and the center line disappeared. Captain Seaver pulled into a dirt path off the road that opened into a clearing. I could see a well worn foot path going into the woods beyond the clearing. He shut off the engine of his cruiser and exited the car. Scully and I jumped out and stretched our legs. The ride had taken almost an hour. 

I caught myself staring at her chest as her arms reached for the sky over her head, one hand trapping the opposite wrist and stretching her shoulders taut. Her breasts poked forward through her tank top and the flimsy bra she was wearing. I longed to cup them in my hands again. Maybe tonight. She had a plaid wool long sleeved shirt on over it. I glanced at the Captain and he was staring too. I waved my hand in front of his face and he darted his eyes away guiltily. 

As usual, Scully was oblivious to both mine and the Captain's admiration. Amazing. She was so unaware of her appeal. It was one of the things that made her so damn unique and irresistible. She looked at us and asked, "What?" 

"Nothing," we both said at the same time and I couldn't help smirking at him. He smirked back. Surprisingly, our little talk seemed to have given me some peace and confidence. I was still insecure, but not nearly as irritated as the first time he'd gawked and flirted with her. She loved me. My new mantra was to be, 'I don't need to trust him. I trust her. I don't need to trust him.' This was not to say that I didn't want to make her wear a sandwich board that said 'Mine' or 'Property of Fox Mulder.' Oh, better not let that little thought ever see the light of day! She'd kill me. 

The cop pointed to the path. "There it is agents. Not hard. Follow the path. There are some wooden signs like the one at the edge of the forest there to mark your way, but you shouldn't need them if you stay on the path. It goes directly to the site. We did put up some crime scene tape around the perimeter of the area, along the outside of the foundations, just in case. 

Scully smiled at him. "Thanks, Captain. We'll look around, probably spend the night and get in touch with you tomorrow and let you know if we find anything. If we don't, we may call in a chopper or charter a plane to fly over the area to see if can see anything unusual. But, one step at a time." 

He became suddenly somber. "And if we don't hear from you?" 

Scully answered quickly. "You will." 

I looked at him. He was really scared for us. Who knew how much of it was justified. "If you don't hear from us by noon tomorrow, give us a couple more hours and then send some State troopers in after us, and call this number. I pulled out my wallet and handed him Skinner's business card. The Captain seemed suitably impressed. 

"Who's this?" 

"Our superior," I answered. "He'll know what to do if we go missing. You'll have all the help you can stand." 

"Good to know." 

I had no idea if he would have all the help he could stand, but if it would put his fears to rest, then so be it. I saw Scully open her mouth as if to say something and I nudged her gently in the shoulder. He closed her mouth and just looked at me. Her question was clear, 'What is this all about?' My answer was 'I'll tell you later.' Apparently that was clear too, because I saw the almost imperceptible nod of her head. 

For all I knew, Skinner would be glad we disappeared. I knew that wasn't true, but I also knew he wasn't overly fond of us and the trouble we caused sometimes. But regardless of his personal feelings, if two FBI agents go missing, the Bureau has to look for them. Bad publicity if they didn't. They would have to make at least a show of searching for them. 

Scully stuck out her hand and the Captain took it and shook it, holding it a bit too long, I thought. But I tamped that feeling down. She smiled at him. "Thanks for your help and I'm sure everything will be fine." 

"Good luck." He turned on his heal and went back to his cruiser, circling the clearing and heading back out to the road. We both immediately went to the trunk and began unpacking our backpacks and coolers. We both secured our weapons at our waist. I strapped a shot gun on the back of my pack before I hoisted it up. 

Scully asked, "Where did you get that, Mulder?" 

"The Chief lent it to me. He said even if there were no human beasts out here, there might be bears or coyotes and I should have a rifle just in case." 

"Oh goody, that makes me feel better." 

I chuckled. "We are going to be in the woods, Scully." 

"Don't remind me. We never seem to have the best of luck in the woods. Remember that lovely little trip to the forest to find the loggers?" 

"Don't remind me." I threw her words back at her. "But we're better prepared this time. 

"Let's hope so." 

I helped her hoist her pack onto her back. We each grabbed a hand cooler. We had packed one with 6 juices and 6 sodas, all it would hold. We had full canteens as well. Hers was packed with six sandwiches and a couple of apples and pears. We weren't planning on being in here more than overnight. I just hoped that turned out to be the case. I had an eerie feeling about this place and we weren't even there yet. I shrugged off the feeling and began hiking into the woods with Scully close on my heels. She looked tiny under the load of her backpack. I knew she would never complain about the weight, but neither of us was used to carrying this much weight on our backs and I figured she would tire before I did. 

Running kept my legs strong and my stamina up. I knew Scully worked out, but it was more anaerobic and aerobic exercise in her case. I resolved to watch her carefully and stop at the first sign of fatigue. The cop had told us that it should only take us about a half hour to reach the site, so we shouldn't have to stop, but you never know. 

The walk was actually peaceful and about 100 yards in the path widened so that two people could walk abreast. I motioned Scully forward and took her hand in mine. She smiled and we continued on. I shortened my stride and moderated my pace to fit hers. I knew she had to jog to keep up with me sometimes, but with all the weight of our packs, I didn't want to give her any reason to exert herself. I turned her hand up so I could see the back of it in my palm. The ends of her fingers reached only to my second knuckles. 

"What?" she asked. 

"Your hands are so tiny." 

"Only compared to yours, Mulder." 

"No, I've seen lots of women's hands and yours are tiny." 

"How many women's hands have you held?" There was an undertone to her question that made me smile. I heard the question under the question. 'How many women have you been with?' Dangerous question and one that every woman asked. I wonder why when none of them wanted to know the answer. I'd only had about three serious relationships in my life but I'd had quite a few casual ones that didn't last long. And although not proud of it, I'd had quite a few one-night stands between Oxford and the day she walked into my life. 

I'd told her that the vampire chick was the only one I'd been with since she came into my life and that was true. I'd come really close to sleeping with Diana again. But she definitely didn't need to know that. I'd been lonely and vulnerable. I was a guy after all. Now I was glad I'd resisted at the last minute. At the time, I hadn't even known why. Now I did. I couldn't be unfaithful to Scully. Of course that was ridiculous since we weren't even together that way at the time, but that's what it was about when all was said and done. 

"Mulder?" she prompted. Her voice was laced with uncertainty. That was something that I didn't particularly like to hear in Scully. But the he-man in me was delighting in it at the same time. Weird how all my intellect conflicted with my emotions all the time. That was probably why I was so fucked up all the time and confused. 

"Not nearly as many as you're thinking, I'm sure." 

"That doesn't answer my question. And I know about your memory, so don't tell me you don't remember or you don't know." 

Snagged! "I've only had three serious relationships, Scully. By that I mean ones that lasted more than three months. 

"I know about Diana and Phoebe. Who was the third one?" 

"Lydia, Lydia Quist." 

"Lydia? I've never even heard you mention her name." 

"No reason to. She was my first love, my high school sweetheart. We went out together for nearly a year. We spent my last summer home together but then I went to Oxford. There was no point in trying to stay together then so we broke up for obvious reasons." 

"You stayed friends though?" 

"Yeah. She went to college in Boston. I saw her a couple of times when I came home on holiday, but then we went on with our lives and I haven't seen her since." 

"So those were the serious ones." 

"Yup." 

"Did you lose your virginity to her?" 

"Who, Lydia?" 

"Of course, who else are we talking about here?" 

"Yes." I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. I was so innocent then and so in love. It was the last time I would feel safe until Scully came along. 

"Good memories?" she inquired. 

"Yeah, but I don't need to bore you with the details." 

"I want to know. I'm not upset by it. I know you had a life before I came along." 

"Not much of one." 

"Oh, crap, sure you did, it's just different now." 

"Better in every way." I smiled at her and she smiled back. 

"Ditto. I want to know about your past, Mulder. I'm not threatened by it. So spill!" This last was said playfully. 

I chuckled. "Being with Lydia that last summer was like magic. I was so nave and innocent then. I thought I knew all the answers. I was carefree and at peace. I hadn't had a lot of peace in my childhood, but I had peace with Lydia. Maybe that's why I loved her. I could be myself and she accepted me for who I was, not who she wanted me to be. I felt safe with her and loved, unlike I felt when I was with my folks. I'd lost my virginity and I thought I was such a MAN." Scully giggled. 

I grinned. "And after that?" 

"I left for Oxford." 

"And then Phoebe came along." 

"Yup." 

"Not going to elaborate on that one, huh?" 

"I'd rather not. Suffice it to say that I was young and dumb and played for a fool. I thought I had all the answers and she taught me that I didn't have any. It was my first real exposure to the big bad world of lies and deceit. She was a master. I knew it and I still couldn't resist her." 

"Why not?" 

"I don't know exactly. I think that I just wanted to be loved so badly that I was starved for attention from anyone that would give it to me. I used sex as a substitute for love. I mixed the two up. I know the difference now but I didn't then. I had so little experience. And when I felt that she was playing a game with me, I refused to give up. I wanted to win the game." 

"And you didn't." It was a statement. 

"No, I didn't. I failed miserably and I wasn't a good sport about it either. She crushed what little ego I had acquired with Lydia and ground it into dust. But even I have some self-respect and when she made me a cuckold, I had to leave if I wanted to have any dignity at all." 

"She cheated on you." Another statement. 

"Frequently, with many different men as it turns out." 

"How did you find out?" 

"I caught her." 

"Oh God, Mulder. That's every man's nightmare." 

"You bet. Had a class cancelled because the professor was sick. We were living together then off campus. I came home early and found her in the bedroom with her legs in the air and some steroid lad's hairy ass staring me in the face." 

"Oh Jesus, I'm sorry, Mulder." 

"Ahh, live and learn. I'm over it now." 

"Are you?" 

I looked at her. "Yes, I am. I was wrecked emotionally for a long time and gun shy too, but when I got back to the states and immersed myself in the FBI, the memories started to fade. I felt like a loser, but then I started to get offers and I realized I wasn't such a loser after all. I didn't have to believe Phoebe's assessment of me. I could have my own opinion. Phoebe was the only one that had complained about me in bed. No one else was. 

"Then Diana was paired with me and you know that story. Things were almost too easy until she left for Europe without blinking an eye and that was the end of that. Apparently I was supposed to just forgive her for taking off without saying good bye. Apparently it wasn't supposed to bother me that our relationship wasn't even a tiny consideration in her decision to leave. So I pretended that it didn't hurt and went on my merry way. But then women would hit on me from to time." 

Scully was silent for a few more moments. "So you got offers, huh?" 

I grinned. "Yeah." 

"And?" 

"And nothing, it boosted my confidence, restored it so to speak. But shortly thereafter, I didn't have time for a relationship." 

"I don't believe you were celibate all those years." 

"No." 

She looked at me again, waiting for more of an answer. This was the area I wanted to avoid. Telling her about Kristen the vampire chick was bad enough. When no more was forthcoming, she pushed again, like I knew she would. 

"You don't want to tell me about that part of your life?" 

"Nope." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm not proud of it." 

"That doesn't matter to me, Mulder. Christ, I know you're a normal virile guy. I wouldn't expect you to live like a monk." 

"Virile, huh?" I waggled my eyebrows at her. 

She shook her head in mock exasperation. "Come on." 

"No." 

"I promise not to hold it against you." 

"Be careful what you ask for, Scully." 

"I can take it," she challenged. 

"Are you going to tell me about your history." 

"Can you hack it?" 

"Yes." 

"Then I can hack yours, cough it up!" 

"I had a series of one-night stands and a couple of dating episodes that lasted about a month a piece and one that lasted for three months." 

"Go on." 

"What else do you want to know?" 

"I don't know. What type of women were they?" 

"Usually professionals. I've always liked smart women." 

"What attracted you to them?" 

"You want to know the truth?" 

"Of course." 

"They offered. That was what attracted me to them, period. Pretty shallow, huh? I was a complete sucker for someone who 'wanted' me. I was always a little surprised by it." 

"That simple, huh?" 

"Yup. That simple and that primal. Most of the time, I was frustrated, lonely and horny. If someone offered, I wasn't about to turn them down. I did practice safe sex though." 

"I know. I've seen your medical records. I know you're clean as a whistle." 

"Checking up on me, huh?" I teased. I was surprised she wasn't more upset about my admission that I was so shallow about those women. Most women would automatically assume that you were going to be that shallow with them. In most cases, they would probably be right. Most guys were either shallow or not and there wasn't much middle of the road. But we'd been together so long and knew each other so well in so many ways. She knew that my friendship and feelings for her were anything but shallow. We'd been through too much. 

About then, the trees suddenly ended and we were abruptly standing in a bright clearing. Oddly enough, althouth it was bright, you couldn't see the sun. There were six old, crumpled, stone foundations with what appeared to be a fairly wide clearing running between them. It was probably a road through the center of the 'town' at one time. 

Scully scanned the area. "We'll have to be careful when we check out those foundations. We wouldn't want one to cave in on us." 

As soon as she said it, we both looked at each other as that possibility raced through our heads. What if it was that simple? I deflated. "No, Scully, the cops surely would have found them. They were pretty thorough, despite being spooked. If they took time to bag up dog shit, I'm sure they peeked into the foundations!" 

She laughed at that. "Yeah, but it wouldn't hurt to turn over all the territory they already looked at." 

"No, it wouldn't. But I'd like to get the tent set up and ready for sleeping first. I want to light a fire and gather some of this dead wood so we have plenty to keep it going all night. I don't want any uninvited critters. I want to get all that done before dark. Then I want to eat. If there's any day light left, then we'll start looking." 

"Sounds like a plan to me. Let's figure out where to pitch the tent. We want a fairly flat piece of ground." 

We walked slowly down the center of the 'town'. I can't describe the feeling that seemed to press down upon me. I felt my heart rate speed up for no particular reason. The air felt heavy and I noticed a peculiar lack of sound. "Scully?" 

Her voice was a little shaky. "Yeah?" She was whispering as though our normal voices would be a sacrilege here. 

I whispered as well. "Do you notice there is no sound? No birds chirping, no leaves rustling, no nothing." 

She nodded. "That usually means something has disturbed the forest creatures and they are going into hiding." 

"Maybe, but do you feel the air?" 

"Feel the air?" 

"Yeah, does it feel heavy to you?" 

"Heavy?" 

"What, are you a parrot now?" 

She smiled tremulously. "Sorry." Reluctantly, I could tell, she admitted, "Yes, Mulder, there is something weird about the atmosphere here, but it could just be thinner air or an anomalous weather pattern." 

"Is that what you really believe?" 

"That's what I want to believe." 

"But it's not what you really believe." 

"I don't know what I believe." I was silent then. See, that was the difference between us. I didn't always understand the things that I had seen but I did believe in them. I trusted them more than the machinations of humans. I could rely on them to act a certain way and I expected the paranormal to be dangerous and unpredictable and I respected that. I had a healthy fear of all things unseen. Not a paralyzing fear, but a healthy one. Scully wouldn't accept or believe anything that she couldn't see, touch, taste or feel. 

I guess that's why I was so puzzled by her faith in God. The two ideas just didn't mesh. I, on the other hand, had loads of faith in things I couldn't see, touch, taste or feel, just not in God. I should be the one who believed in God and she should be the one who didn't. So I guess we were both paradoxes in some respects. 

I took her hand and walked briskly to the other side of the clearing. The closer I got to it, the more the heavy oppressiveness of the air faded. Strange and definitely disconcerting. 

We didn't speak again for quite some time. We simply unloaded our packs, carefully lying things on the ground and pitching our tent in silence. When that was complete, Scully removed the sleeping bags from the top of each pack and unrolled them inside the tent. I smiled when I saw her unzipping them and zipping them together. Well, that was encouraging! At least she planned to cuddle up with me tonight, if nothing else. I was going to be distracted here, so I wasn't even sure if I would be up for any hanky panky now that we were here. I couldn't shake my feelings of unease. Who was I kidding? I was always ready for sex. 

I began picking up stray pieces of dead wood and carrying them back into the clearing. It was several trips before I realized that when I stepped beyond a certain point, I could suddenly hear the forest sounds again. When I stepped over some invisible line, the silence was once again oppressive and eerie. "Scully." 

She startled and looked up from placing stones on the ground in a circle to create a safe fire pit. "Huh?" 

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Come here a minute." She didn't question me. She just approached me with a quizzical look on her face. I was standing inside the 'sound free' zone. I turned her gently so her back was to me and put my arms around her waist. 

I slipped one foot against her instep and took a large step sideways, bringing her leg with me so she leaned outside the 'sound free' area. Chirping and rustling filled my ears. I paused for a couple of seconds and stepped back to our original position, taking her with me. It was like someone switched off a radio. It was that startling of a difference. I stepped out, I stepped in. I stepped out, I stepped back in. 

I turned her toward me. There was a deep furrow between her eyebrows as she scrunched her brow. Her mouth was open, accentuating the confusion on her face. Her eyes were wide. She looked confused. But she also looked scared. Or at least freaked out. Finally she closed her mouth and swallowed. "Mulder, what the hell?" 

"I don't know, but I just noticed something else." 

"What?" 

"Captain Seavers told us that they had put crime scene tape around the perimeter of the foundations and there isn't a scrap of crime scene tape here." 

She looked around slowly, turning in a three-sixty and nodding her head. "What does that mean?" 

"It means someone removed it." 

"Someone or something?" 

"I don't' know, but surprisingly, I'm leaning toward someONE. I think we should check the area around the foundations before it gets dark and see if there are any footprints or anything else we might see that the cops missed. Of course, if there are foot prints, they could easily be the cops footprints. But they probably wear those regulation shoes with their uniforms and the print is pretty easy to spot. We need to look for a boot print or a sneaker print. Something with tread." 

She nodded. "We should light a fire first." 

"Yeah, I don't want to be caught in the dark. Let's finish with the fire and then have a look around." 

"Mulder?" 

She seemed hesitant. "What?" 

She looked me in the eye and slowly said, "I'm scared." 

I smiled at her and her face softened but still looked tentative. She cast her eyes to the ground and I strode into her a step and caught her up in my arms. She didn't protest and I held her tight, rocking slightly and nuzzling her hair with my chin. I liked this Scully that was willing to admit she was scared and human. I liked that she was allowing me to comfort her. This was a big step for her. Trusting me enough to show what she termed 'weakness' and I simply termed 'human', was a hard thing for her to do. There were always so many layers to everything we did and said to each other. Her statement would seem tame and natural coming from anyone else. An admission of uncertainty that most of take for granted. But Scully was a complex person and her needs to be viewed as a competent and capable person was above average. In fact, you might even say that she was obsessed with it. I understood it more than she thought that I did. 

She was raised by a Naval captain and a Navy wife. Both were fiercely independent and had instilled that in their offspring. Dana was also a product of the Navy Brat Syndrome. They moved constantly and she learned not to become attached to anyone, anything or any place. All she could count on to stay the same was her family. Everything else was subject to change at a moment's notice. No wonder she was hesitant to let anyone see inside. 

Intellectually, she knew that I would never leave her, never hurt her and I would never break her heart. But emotionally, the habits of self-sufficiency were so ingrained in her. I would be a slow process of coaxing her out from behind the walls she'd built around her heart. We'd shared passion last night. And that passion was still resonating in my bones. But as a couple, we had a lot of work to do on our communication skills. For as well as we knew one another, we kept our secrets. I was as guilty as she was. 

"I'm scared too, Scully. But we've been a lot weirder places and we always survive. We'll get through this too. Let's just take our time and be careful. And I don't want you out of my sight." 

She lifted her head abruptly, an automatic reflex protest forming on her lips when she saw my face. She must have seen my plea there in the lines of my face, because her words died before they made it out of her mouth. She nodded. 

I added, "I don't want to be out of your sight either. We need to stick together. I know you hate it when I act protective, but this is about self-preservation, for both of us. I can't lose you, Scully, or put you in unnecessary risk any more than you would want me to be at risk. If we are ever separated, it's not going to be because of something stupid, like being too proud to let someone look out for us. O.K.? Can we agree on that?" 

"Yes, I'm sorry, Mulder." 

"Nothing to be sorry about. Let's get that fire going." 

The next few minutes were spent in silence as Scully put leaves and twigs in the bottom of the fire pit and carefully placed the wood in increasing sizes in a teepee formation. She removed a lighter from our backpack and lit the kindling. We watched and blew carefully until we had a nice roaring fire in the middle of the pit. She swept the excess leaves and twigs away from the area around the pit. We then began a slow and careful search of the perimeter. We did not go in opposite directions as usual to cover more territory more quickly. We walked carefully, side by side and took our time. From time to time we would catch each other examining the other and smile sheepishly at each other. 

We were relaxed and the eerie quality of the silence seemed to disappear as we held hands and slowly scanned the ground. We had almost done a full circle around the foundation area when she suddenly dropped her hand from mine and squatted down to peer at the ground. She picked up a twig and gently brushed a few leaves to the side. There on the ground was a small piece of black metal, with ridges on one side. She pulled a pair of latex gloves from her back pants pocket and put them on. She carefully picked up the thick, heavy piece of metal that was about the size of a silver dollar. A little chip was gone from one side but it was essentially a disk like shape. The edges were ridged and there was something brown and dried on the edge. It was about 1/4 of an inch thick. I pulled out an evidence bag from my jacket and my small flashlight and shined it on the metal piece laying in the palm of her hand. 

It was blood, dried blood. We both gulped and looked at each other. Scully's sarcasm creeped into her voice although she was trying to sound ironic. "Not a speck of blood anywhere, ma'am." 

I smiled ruefully at her. "Are you suggesting that our friends on the police force were less than thorough in their search of the area? That's something that would be easy to miss." 

"Maybe, but whenever you have a scene like this, you are supposed to go over it with a fine tooth comb. I think these guys were too spooked to look very carefully. They got all jumpy and high tailed it out of here as fast as they could. No one was tapping them on the shoulders, they were imaging it because they expected something weird to happen. They bagged up wolf shit and didn't find this?" 

She was hitting her stride now. This was Scully at her most skeptical. I could see her fear vanishing and the capable, inquisitive agent returning. If I looked close enough, I could probably see the gears spinning in her brain. I held the open bag to her and she slipped the metal piece inside. 

"What kind of metal is that?" 

"I don't know, but you see the ridges on the edge?" 

"Yeah, what about them?" 

"I think they are part of a grip. I think it's the end of a flashlight." 

"A flashlight, that's some thick metal for a flashlight casing." 

"You know those big mag flashlights?" 

"Oh yeah, you're right, it looks just like the end of one of those, the cap over the battery compartment." 

"Exactly." 

"And the blood, Scully?" 

"I think somebody got whacked on the head with it." 

I nodded grimly. "One of those flashlights could bust your skull if it was wielded with enough power." 

She looked up at me. "I know, I used to carry one for just that reason." 

"You did?" 

"Yeah, before they let me carry a gun." She grinned at me. "Then I retired my mag light." 

I teased her, trying to keep the mood from getting too heavy. "Sometimes you are a truly frightening woman, do you know that?" 

She smirked. "How so?" 

"You were bad enough when you shot me. I hate to think what kind of damage you would have done to my body if all you'd had was a flashlight!" 

She chuckled. "When I was in med school, I stayed up crazy hours in the library. I would walk home often after dark. A couple of times, I was spooked on the way back to the dorm, thinking I was being followed. I told Ahab about it and he came to see me the next day with one of those flashlights. He told me to carry it everywhere I went, even in the day time, but especially when I had to walk home at night after dark. It was useful to have a flashlight anyway, and it could be a weapon if necessary." 

"Smart guy, you're dad. I would have sent a body guard." 

She smiled up at me, shaking her head. "No, my dad taught us how to look out for ourselves. He made no exceptions for Melissa and I because we were girls." 

"I know. I can see that in you. You're almost too independent though sometimes." 

"Yeah, well the Scully motto in my house was that whatever had to be done it was done by all. The boys had to help wash dishes and I had to mow the lawn. There was no gender distinction in our house when it came to chores. He meant to build teamwork among us and in some respects he did. In others, he made us resent each other. There were times when I didn't want to be self-sufficient. There were times when I wanted to be taken care of. I was tired of being strong." 

"Are you still?" 

She gazed at me with a sweet half smile on her face. "Sometimes." 

"I wish you'd let me take care of you, Scully. I would love to do it and it would make me feel good about myself." 

"About yourself? How so?" 

"I want to know that I'm capable of being a caregiver. I want to know that I'm capable of not being selfish. And I want to return all the comfort that you've given me over the years. And finally, ..." 

"Finally?" 

"I'm in love with you Scully and it kills me when you won't let me in, when you won't let me help." 

"I can't help it." 

"Yes, you can. You choose not to. But you have to understand that your pain is my pain. It kills me to see you suffer and not be able to share the burden with you, especially when you've taken so much off my shoulders over the years and carried your share. I only want to give that back to you." 

"Eye for an eye?" 

"Not exactly. Does it make you feel good when you feel that you have comforted me and made me feel better after one of my near nervous breakdowns? 

She smiled at my choice of words and tilted her head to one side. She was so enchanting when she did that little head tilt thing. "Now that you mention it, yes. You tend to bring out my nurturing instincts sometimes, especially when you're hurt." 

"Why do you think it would be any different for me?" 

She continued to look at me then. Quietly she acknowledged, "I see what you mean." She paused. "I'll try, Mulder, that's all I can promise. I'll try to let you in." 

"That's all I'm asking for, Scully. I don't expect you to snap your fingers and change overnight and suddenly want me around like the handle on a piss pot." 

"Handle on a piss-pot?" She started to laugh. "You come up with the weirdest expressions, sometimes! Where the hell did that saying come from?" 

I chuckled. "I don't know, it's something my mother used to say when she was referring to something that was in the way or under foot." 

"You weren't the only weird one in your family, Mulder." 

"Not by a long shot." 

* * *

* * *

**PART 3 - ( NC-17)**  
**DUDLEYTOWN, CORNWALL, CT**  
**7:00 PM THAT NIGHT**

I lit the small Coleman lantern inside the tent. We had just finished eating a couple of the sandwiches we had brought with us. It had started to get dark. The dusk blanketed the area in an odd sort of light that was more unsettling than I cared to admit. Mulder called a halt to our search and find mission and we crawled in to change our clothes for bed. Darkness had fallen at an unusually quick rate as though someone pulled storm clouds over the moon. But the night was clear and you could see the stars, but the light diminished so quickly you could see it happening. It was undoubtedly unsettling. 

I debated whether to put on my pajamas. I had zipped the sleeping bags together, hopefully giving a hint that I wanted to snuggle up. I wouldn't admit it to him but I had been replaying the previous evening in my head on and off all day. 

I kept hearing his voice echo in my head, 'Do you want to be TAKEN, Scully?' Good lord! The wave of arousal that flooded through me when his deep voice vibrated into my ear almost made me dizzy. I'm still not sure how I managed to squeak out an answer. He has no idea how he hit the nail on the head with that statement. He was exactly right. For years, I had wanted him to take the decision out of my hands. 

Subconsciously, I think I knew that if he ever kissed me for real, I was done for. If his tongue ever entered my mouth, there would be no resisting him. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel his warm, large hands on my breasts, his fingers pinching my nipples and his incredibly large hardness sliding in and out of me. The feelings had been exquisite. I'd had some good and some bad sex in my day, but I nothing had ever come close to that. 

I knew why too, besides the fact that he had a big dick. He loved me. The others hadn't. I loved him, and I hadn't really loved the others. I'd tried. I'd thought I was in love a time or two. But now that I knew, or finally admitted that I was in love with Mulder, those feelings of the past paled in comparison. I'd never felt the connection with someone while making love that I had felt with Mulder. We were so 'present' with each other, both giving and taking all there was to take and give. Once he really touched me there was no more guilt, no more fear and no more hesitation. I wanted him like I'd never wanted anyone in my entire life. I'd wanted to please him. And hearing him groan his pleasure had excited beyond words. The guilt, fear and hesitation didn't return until morning when we had to stop touching each other and venture back out into the real world. 

I was full of fears, but I knew the time had come to face them down if I was ever going to find happiness. No other man was going to grab my attention away from Mulder. I knew that instinctively. A few years ago, maybe, but not now. He was too much a part of me. That was scary because I knew that if something were to happen to him, if I were to ever lose him, a part of me would die with him, never to be found again. To take that risk was enormous for me. But he had been right when he threw the old adage in my face, 'better to have loved and lost ...'. 

He was right, as usual. Would it be better to deny what my heart was telling me and spend the rest of my life unhappy, and unfulfilled? No, life was too short and I should grab happiness where I could find it. I realized how fast the years had sped by. I was chagrined at all the time that had been lost. This whole thing was easier said than done. 

But in my heart, I knew that this was the RIGHT time. Now was our time. Had we jumped in before, our fears would have won and overtaken our desire and our love for one another. Now, the friendship was solid as a rock. I was confident that it would not be broken, whether we, as a couple, worked out or not. That gave me a feeling of peace and of courage. I would always have him, at least as a friend. But it would definitely be so much better if I could have him as my boyfriend, my lover, my husband. Husband? Don't go there yet. 

Snippets of our talk kept floating through my mind. 'They call me Mrs. Spooky.' --- 'Yeah, I wish.' I felt like I was skating toward a cliff with no brakes. It was scary but exhilarating at the same time. So much of what I did with Mulder was like that. It was the high wire act without a net. I realized though, if I let myself think about it, that I did have a net. His love for me and our solid friendship. This could be a win/win situation, if I let it be. 

So here I sat in a tee shirt and panties, lighting the lamp so that we could see what we were doing as we settled in for the night. We put our weapons in the corner of the tent, leaving them in the holsters. He was in nothing but his boxers and slid into the bags and scooted to the far side, holding the top cover up and nodding toward the bedding, inviting me in. I crawled in tentatively, unsure how I wanted to do this. He had an amused smile on his face. 

"Mulder, what's so funny?" 

"You. You look so unsure of yourself. I'm not used to seeing you that way." 

I kneeled in front of him as he laid on his side, still holding the covers up. "I'm sorry I'm so awkward, Mulder, it will get better." 

"Don't worry about it, I think it's cute." 

"Cute?" 

"Yeah. Now get down here and press that exquisite little ass of yours into my lap." His voice was teasing but I could see the spark in them. 

I laid down on my side and rolled myself back into his body as he lowered the covers over us. He reached around and zipped it up snugly. One arm went underneath my neck and pillow and the other wrapped firmly around my waist and pulled me back tightly into his torso. As promised, he had pulled my butt right into his lap. He was so warm, I instantly started to relax until I felt his had slide up under my tee shirt and cup my left breast. "Uhhh, Mulder?" 

"Shhh, I just want to touch you. I promise to behave." 

"Yeah, sure, right!" 

He chuckled. "I will, unless you don't want me to behave." He paused. "You do know that I won't push don't you? I mean, I won't do anything you don't want me to do." 

"There isn't much you could do that I wouldn't want you to do." I felt his breathing deepen and his hot breath cascade down my neck giving me a shiver. 

"Do you want me to do this?" His thumb and forefinger slide together and grabbed my nipple, pinching it hard and quickly, then rolling it back and forth. I moaned low and arched my back. The dart of sensation in my nipple had shot straight down between my legs and caused me to moisten and swell, just from that one touch. Oh God, what this man could do to me with just one touch. And I must say, there isn't a better feeling in the world, than feeling him stiffen and grow against me. He pressed his burgeoning erection between my butt cheeks and ground himself against me. My cotton panties were no barrier to the throbbing heat of his erection. 

"Scully?" 

"Mmm?" 

"What do you want? Should I stop and just cuddle you?" 

Breath, breath, deep breath. "No, keep going." 

"Ooohhh, Scully, you are making me nuts, very quickly!" he murmured. His hand went to the hem of my shirt and yanked upward. I grabbed it and yanked it over my head. Screw it. I went directly for my panties and pulled them down, kicking them off my feet and pushing them into a little ball in the corner of the sleeping bag at my feet. He wasted no time and did the same with his boxers. This task done, he immediately pulled me back into him. 

His arm draped over my waist and glided over my abdomen and down my thigh. He gripped the inside of my thigh and lifted my left leg to place it gently on top his. This little maneuver not only opened me wide for him, but made my ass cheeks press together around his erection, which was still poking me insistently in the rump. I could feel the evidence of his arousal leaking into the crack of butt cheeks. He was flexing his hips and spreading it between my cheeks. Little electric tingles shot up and down my spine. I was breathing at a ridiculous rate now and made a conscious effort to slow it down. 

His right hand wound his fingers in between mine and he squeezed. I sighed. Then his left hand moved down my stomach again and raked through my pubic hair causing me to quiver. His low chuckle in my ear in reaction to my response, send another rolling wave of heat from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. He whispered into my ear, keeping those tingles racing through my body. "Scully, I want to make love you to again. Oh God, I didn't think it was possible to want someone like this." 

I shuddered at his words. My voice was quiet but firm, asking the same question I'd asked the night before. "What do you want, Mulder?" 

This time he wasn't confused or unsure. He firmly slid his hand down to cup me between my legs and without warning, slid two fingers deep inside. I gasped at the sudden intrusion. He stilled, but then started scissoring his fingers back and forth. It created an odd sort of cringing in my vagina that made me pant and want more. He still hadn't answered me. He extracted his fingers and I pushed my rear end into his hips in protest. He murmured in my ear, "Do you have any idea how exciting it is to me that you respond to my touch like you do?" 

"What do you want, Mulder? Tell me." 

His left hand, still sticky with my wetness, gripped my hip. His body angled slightly away from my back and all he said was, "THIS!" And he slid that beautiful, long, wide, hard cock all the way into me until he bumped the entrance to my womb. We both groaned, rather loudly. The silence of this place, combined with the isolation of the tent, made it feel as if we were the only two people in the world. The silence also made our sounds seem magnified. My ears were so focused on them because of the lack of any other sound to interfere. 

He began pumping in and out of me at a steady pace, but fairly slow as if he were savoring the feeling. I could hear his breath hitching and the little grunts coming from the back of his throat. I was never overly vocal during sex but I was beginning to realize the benefits. If his sounds were exciting me so much, then why wouldn't mine excite him? I had been trying to stifle them, feeling that my moans would be a violation of the silence around us. But at that second as he gripped my hip a little tighter and started pumping into me harder. I let the moans come. "Ooohhh, Ooohhh, Ooohhh, Mul...der...yes. Feels so good." 

"Ahhh, Scully, you feel so good. You're perfect, this is perfect. We're so perfect together." All I could do is grunt in response and resume my rhythmic moaning that paused each time he smacked into my rear end. 

I raised my leg higher in the air and spread my leg as wide as I could over his hip behind me. He didn't pause in his strokes, but his hand slid down to my curls. His fingers flat he began brushing them down over my throbbing clit that was now swollen and pulsing with need. The feeling was so exquisite, all I could do was whimper. This sound apparently really effected him because he began to speed up again as his fingers swiped at me hard and furiously. 

My nipples hardened painfully as I felt the first clenching wave of my orgasm wash over me. My head snapped back and I heard him grunt as my head made contact with his chest. Oopps. He didn't seem to mind though and kept pushing into me as my insides fluttered around him. I felt dizzy and sated as I came down from the endorphin high, feeling my muscles quivering slightly. My orgasm had not sent him over the edge and he panted out, "Roll onto ... your stomach." 

I did and he rolled with me, never pulling all the way out. His hands pinned mine on either side of head on my pillow and he began to pump into me hard. His weight was on my rump and my shoulders and it felt divine. The ground was hard but I hardly noticed except for the fact that my over-sensitized nipples were rubbing along the sleeping bag with every thrust and my pubic bone was being ground into the earth. I nearly shouted as I felt more flutters skitter through my torso and my vaginal walls quiver around him again in a softer, but drawn out orgasm. He shouted then and shortened his strokes, jerking his hips into my ass as he emptied into me shouting my name. "Sccuullyy...Awwwshit, Oh God, Sccuullyy!" 

He collapsed in a heap on top of me as we both panted. I was dazed and nearly chanting in a whisper, "I came twice, you made me come twice. Oh God, I came twice. That's never happened before." 

He brushed the hair away from the back of my neck and kissed me gently along my hair line. I realized we hadn't kissed throughout this entire episode. I grunted and he rolled over. I flipped over and sidled up to his side, throwing myself on top of him. He was smiling a lazy smile and we kissed. It was tender and soft and deep. He hummed in the back of his throat and I smiled at him. "I love watching you react to me too." 

"I couldn't see your face in those positions," he murmured. I missed it. 

"I know, but I could feel you react. Could you feel me?" 

"Yes, I could hear you too!" His voice was slightly teasing. 

"Is it me or were the sounds more intense?" I asked. 

"Because of the silence, you mean?" 

"Yeah." 

"I think so. Or maybe it was just because my world shrinks to the size of your body and mine when I touch you and I don't see or hear anything else. I'm not sure which." 

That was such a sweet thing to say. But I knew exactly what he meant. It was the same way for me. He combed his fingers through my hair, letting the strands slide through his fingers as if fascinated with them. "Even your hair is soft." His voice was a still a soft whisper. 

"Mulder, I want to tell you something." 

He looked serious suddenly, as though I was going to ruin this with some declaration of how wrong it had been to screw around out here on a case, or in the woods. I smiled to reassure him and he nodded, waiting. 

"No one's ever made me ... feel ... the things you make me feel. It scares me, but at the same time ... I know it's the most RIGHT thing that's ever happened to me." 

He smiled a gentle smile. "I take it that means your orgasm was decent?" he teased. 

I swatted him gently on the shoulder and he cringed in mock pain. "More than descent. It was incredible and you know it. And I had two, count 'em, two. That's never happened." 

His eyebrows went up. "No? Never?" 

"Never." 

He pulled me into another soft kiss and mumbled against my lips, "Glad to oblige." I chuckled and we kissed some more. Then we heard something we hadn't heard since we'd been here. 

Sound. The cracking of a branch as though it'd been stepped on. The sound was like a gun shot in the silence and we both jerked away from one another and scrambled for our tee shirt and underwear. I scooted out of the sleeping bag and grabbed my weapon while Mulder unzipped the bag and threw the covers off of himself. I put my gun between us and was in process of throwing my tee-shirt over my head when I heard Mulder move with the swiftness of a rattler. Then I heard the contact of skin on skin and a distinctive grunt of pain that did not come from him. I was in nothing but my underwear and tee-shirt, but my head emerged from then neck hole of my shirt just in time to see Mulder swinging my weapon to bear down on the opening of the tent. 

A large shadow loomed outside the tent. It was a person on his knees with his arms wrapped around his ribs. Ironically it reminded of the pose Mulder found himself in on the floor of the elevator yesterday. Yesterday? Was it only yesterday. Since he had my weapon, I grabbed his. They were identical anyway. 

Mulder hadn't even had time to put a shirt on. Damn, we'd let ourselves get too distracted. Somehow I couldn't seem to summon up the usual case of upset over that fact. If we hadn't been distracted, we probably would have been asleep. Mulder was in nothing but his boxers. We both exited the tent carefully, guns trained on the man kneeling before us. Mulder grabbed the lit lantern just as he exited and held it up so that we could see the man's face. 

We both gasped. It was Carl Lehigh. Alive and well. Well, not so well. His face was swollen and covered with bruises. His jeans were ripped in the thighs and his flannel shirt was little more than a rag. "Jesus!" Mulder exclaimed. 

I stared, "Carl Lehigh?" 

"Yeah," he gasped. I slid the safety on my weapon and handed it to Mulder as he put the lantern on the ground. I ducked into the tent, grabbing my pants. I tugged my pants on and jammed my feet into my sneakers without socks. I grabbed Mulder's pants, a flannel shirt and his boots, then reemerged. I took our weapons as he quickly dressed himself, then turned to stir up the embers of our fire that had burned low. He added wood and soon had a fire blazing. He grabbed an extra blanket and one of his shirts from the tent and came back out with those and our first aid kit. I helped Carl to his feet and he staggered a bit, and then sat down on a log near the fire. 

Mulder looked at him. "I apologize for kicking you, but you startled the hell out of us." He only nodded. I addressed him, keeping my voice low and calm. I could see he was shaking. "Don't be afraid. We're Federal agents, Mr. Lehigh. We're here looking for you." I looked at Mulder. "I don't think we need our weapons, Mulder." 

I handed his gun to him and he stuffed it the back of his pants. I did the same. Carl still looked so scared. I knelt in front of him. I'm a medical doctor also, Mr. Lehigh. Let me take a look at you. He nodded numbly, still not speaking. Mulder peered at him, staying back to the side of fire. He sensed that the guy would be more comfortable with me. He did ask a question. "Carl, can you speak?" 

The man nodded and croaked out in a burnt voice, "Yeah, barely." I winced at the sound. 

I peeled his shirt off. He had lacerations and bruises galore. I snapped on a glove and began putting antibiotic cream on them, trying to be gentle. He winced each time anyway. When I was done, I covered the small ones with band aids and the larger ones with taped down gauze pads. Then I noticed the brown stain on one leg of his jeans. 

"Mr. Lehigh, is your leg cut?" 

He nodded to me, "Bad." That seemed to be all he could get out. I put Mulder's shirt on him. It hung large over his slumped shoulders. Mulder's shoulders were quite a bit wider than this guys. 

"Can you lay down on the blanket?" I asked. 

"Sure, my back hurts, but it's healing." 

I had seen the welts on his back, but they weren't open cuts so I had left them alone. The man had been flogged with some sort of whip. He gingerly lowered himself off the log and down onto the blanket I had spread on the ground. I looked at Mulder. "I need you help to get his pants off, I don't have scissors big enough to cut denim. 

Mulder went into the tent and emerged with the hunting knife he had purchased and handed it to me. Then asked, "Or would you rather I just try to pull his pants off?" 

I looked at Carl. His eyes were huge and round as he stared at the knife in my hand. I realized he'd probably been cut with a knife and lowered it to the ground behind me. He took a deep breath and looked visibly relieved. "Mulder, let's try to get them off without cutting." 

Mulder knelt down next to him and began unbuttoning the mans jeans. He spoke softly and reassuringly. "Carl, try to relax, man. We aren't going to hurt you. We want to help and we are going to get you out of here, O.K.?" 

He nodded. "Thanks." 

"Can you tell us what happened?" 

"There's a mad man up here." 

Mulder nodded, encouraging him. The lantern and the firelight cast weird shadows around the clearing but it was enough to see each others faces clearly. "Do you know who he is?" 

Carl closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, but he calls himself the Avenger, one god's Avenging Angels, constantly spouting off about the sins of whores." 

Mulder smirked. "Oh brother." The guy nodded in commiseration, then continued. Mulder carefully peeled the man's jeans off, exposing a large bleeding wound in the thigh about four inches long. The skin was pulled apart and gaping open nearly three quarters of an inch. Mulder visibly swallowed the urge the gag and looked away. 

"Don't look, Mulder, I'll take it from here." I was just glad he was wearing underwear. Carl actually chuckled. 

"So the lady has more stomach than you, eh man?" 

Mulder chuckled. "You don't know the half of it." They smiled at each other and we all relaxed. I didn't think now would be the time to tell the guy I'm a pathologist. Knowing I cut up dead people was not going to instill a lot a confidence in my abilities as a doctor at this point. 

I looked at him. "I'm going to have to clean this out, Carl, and that's going to hurt. Then I'm going to have to sew that up. That's going to hurt even more. But I do have some Zylocaine in my other bag. Mulder, would you get it for me?" 

He nodded and disappeared into the tent. Carl looked at me. "What's Zylocaine?" 

"It's like novocaine for muscle tissue. I can give you a shot and that should help some, but it's not meant to be an anesthesia. It's not that strong. It will still hurt." 

"That's O.K., whatever you can do, I'd appreciate it. I've been terrified it was going to get infected. I've lost a lot of blood. Even though it's slowed down now, I feel weak." 

I nodded. "I'll do the best I can and then I'm gonna call the police to send an ambulance out here to the entrance to Dark Entry Road where we came in. We'll figure out how to get you down there." He nodded. 

Mulder came out handing me the case with the bottle of Zylocaine and several packaged syringes. I gave the guy as much as I dared, poking the novocaine in and around the wound. I threaded a needle with suture string. I always carried it with me on trips like this. You never knew when you could get cut and it would come in handy. I was saying a silent thank you to God as I threaded the needle. 

"Mulder, I need you to hold the lantern over here above his leg. I need to see better." 

He nodded and did as I asked, but then turned his head away. I nodded at Carl. "O.K., here goes, buddy, try to stay as relaxed as you can. I straddled his calf to hold his leg as still as possible and made my first stab for the first stitch. He winced but stayed surprisingly still although he began to pant. "Keep breathing, deep and slow, that's it." 

I worked as fast as I could and Mulder began asking questions, to distract him. "I hate to ask this Carl, but can you tell us what happened?" 

"Some." 

"Tell us what you know." 

"My wife and I came out here to camp. We were just going to spend the night. We're on our honeymoon." He got tears in his eyes and Mulder patted his shoulder gently with his free hand. 

Carl sniffled and continued. "One night we were going to stay out here, that's all. We'd heard about the legends and we often check out sites like these just for the adventure. We're pretty active in sports and camping and skiing and such. We didn't believe most of the legends but we find this sort of thing fun." 

"Go on," Mulder continued. 

"So we set up camp. It was creepy here and we noticed the lack of sound." 

"Yeah, we did too." 

"At first I figured there was a predator nearby, but then it continued for too long. I speculated that it was some sort of electromagnetic field or something, some kind of atmospheric anomaly." 

I looked up from my stitching and smirked at Mulder. They guy sounded just like me. Mulder acknowledged it with a tilt of his head, but said nothing. He sucked breath through his teeth in a hiss as I began suturing the widest part of the wound together. But then he continued. 

"So anyway, we went to bed and figured we'd just do a little hiking tomorrow and then split." 

"Then what happened?" 

"This is where it gets fuzzy for a while. I was jolted awake by a hand over my mouth. I gasped and realized someone was holding a rag over my mouth and nose. I got dizzy and passed out." 

Mulder nodded. "Probably chloroform, or ether." 

"I never even got to look at Patsy. When I woke up, we were laid out side by side in twin beds in a log cabin someplace and no one was to be seen. No matter how I tried, I couldn't get myself untied. Patsy was still out cold on the bed beside me. I started to panic when the guy finally returned." He shuddered and closed his eyes. 

"The guy is enormous! He's got to be six foot, six, and he's got shoulders like a bear. He has a full beard and mustache and a hair lip. He has dark brown hair down his shoulders that hasn't seen a comb since the late sixties." 

Mulder and I chuckled at that. Mulder prompted him. "Go on. Is this the hard part?" 

Carl nodded and swallowed noisily and then yelped a bit as I made another suture, breathing heavily afterwards. I said quietly, "Almost there, Carl, hang in there, just three more to go." 

He nodded and panted. He was silent until I finished and then I placed gauze over the wound and taped it securely after smearing the whole thing with a generous amount of antibiotic cream. He sighed when I told him I was finished, seeming relieved. "Thanks, lady, huh, Dr. ..." 

"Oh! Sorry. We're Special Agents, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder." 

"Oh, O.K. You call him Mulder? I figured that was his first name." 

I looked at Mulder and dared him to explain it with a look. He looked at Carl. "Yeah, it's an old habit we developed a long time ago. We use each other's sir names. It keeps other people from thinking we're too cozy." 

O.K., I thought, that's a good answer for the outside world. I knew he'd asked me to call him Mulder for two reasons. One, because he hated his name. And two, because he wanted to put distance between us. Needless to say, it hadn't worked. And although it was strange and I had gotten miffed over the fact that other women like Diana and even my mother could call him Fox, it seemed natural now. We were Mulder and Scully and that was that. Our given names sounded false somehow when we used them now. Both of us only used them when we were desperate to get the other's undivided attention. 

Carl smiled. "And are you? Cozy that is?" 

Mulder coughed and looked away. Then he looked at me and dared me with a look to explain this one. Not that it was any of this guys business. I stuttered a bit. "Well, uh, we weren't ... uh, for a long time, but ... is this pertinent to this discussion?" 

Carl chuckled. "Hey, your secret's safe with me!" 

Mulder looked at him and smiled. "It's a new thing. We haven't quite worked out the logistics of answering questions about it yet." 

"Oh, I get it," he said. 

Mulder cleared his throat. "So, what else can you tell us?" 

I strayed away to the tent, grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911. I couldn't get a signal. Damn! I reemerged. Mulder asked me. "Hey, Scully, do you have any paper and a pen?" 

"Yeah." I returned and retrieved the pad and pen from my back pack that I also didn't go anywhere without and went back to hand it to him. "I can't get a signal on my cell phone." 

"I'll hike down the trail a bit after this and see if I can find one." 

"You are not leaving us alone here." 

He looked at me quizzically and tilted his head. I rarely made any admission that I wasn't perfectly capable of being by myself. In the past, regardless of how scared I was, I would have stayed behind and sucked up the fear that he was wandering off without me. But this relationship had gone into a new zone, one where I couldn't keep sucking it up, so to speak. I didn't want to anymore and I realized that I didn't have to. I was losing nothing; no respect and no dignity by admitting my fears to Mulder. He would truly think no less of me. And I sensed that my ability to admit these things to him was like a balm to his soul. He needed to know that I was capable of being as vulnerable as he was sometimes. He needed to know that I needed him as much as he needed me or he would always feel inadequate in this relationship. 

You would think, as a smart woman, I would have figured this all out a long time ago. But old habits die hard, and even with Mulder, my female survival instincts had kicked in. Those instincts that said not to show any type of weakness. Those survival instincts that told every professional woman that they had to be twice as good at what they did to be considered half as good as their male counterparts. 

"O.K., we'll figure something else out. We have to get him out of here though." 

"O.K., let me think while you finish getting this story." I wandered away from them, but just to the other side of the fire and contemplated this situation. This was the very reason that I really disliked being in the wilderness. And although we weren't really in the 'wilderness' per se, it felt like it when all you could see as far as you looked was trees. We could have been hundreds of miles from anything remotely civilized. 

>From here, there was no way to tell. I knew that we were just about a mile from a main road, if you could call Route 7 in Cornwall a Main road, but that was no comfort at this point. I began looking around for two long branches with which to make a stretcher with. I found two that were a little shorter than I wanted but they would have to do and dragged them back into the clearing. I put the blanket between them but quickly realized that any thread I sewed it to the log with would probably rip right through it. I could hear Carl murmuring to Mulder on the other side of the fire and looked up to see him furiously scribbling notes on the pad. 

The firelight danced shadows off his high cheekbones and his exposed forearms where he'd rolled up his sleeves of his checked flannel shirt. Christ, he was a beautiful man. And he was mine. I felt a sense of warmth and peace flow through me. Yes, Mulder was MINE now, all mine. I smiled to myself. Look out all you shameless hussies out there. Because I knew already, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was not going to be able to ever let him go. And if some woman ever captured his attention and drew it away from me, I would fight like a crazed woman to keep him. Somehow, knowing that our relationship had gone physical, I thought that it would be a lot harder for him to be taken away from me. 

I know that sex and intimacy were an important and integral part of any worthwhile relationship. I also knew that it should never be the reason for it. But it wasn't in this case. We had seven years of history, trust and friendship as the foundation for this relationship. It was a strong foundation that was not easily shaken apart. The sex was merely an extension of the love that we had already been feeling for each other for many years. However, without it, it was need that went unfulfilled for both of us for way too long. Let's face it. People need intimacy and they need human contact, and yes, in many cases, eventually, they need sex to feel like a whole person, and see that love expressed. It was the ultimate expression of love or in an ideal situation, that's what it should be, and without it, there was always something missing. 

The quest for that missing part of the intimacy is the thing that splits people apart if they denied it. I realized that now. Lord knows I'm the first one to spit on the double standard, but in matters of sex, it was a fact. Men were more physical than women. Sex for men was a more tactile, physical experience. And although I enjoyed that too, if my brain wasn't involved, it wasn't enjoyable. I had to feel emotionally attached to the person in order to enjoy the physical aspects of intimacy. That wasn't necessarily true for men. But I knew Mulder was attached to me. He was in love with me. I shivered. 

Eventually, the pressure would have been too much and he would have sought out that intimate contact with someone. And if he had, it would have shattered me had I found out about it. I could admit that now. Well, C'est la vie. That wasn't going to happen now. I determined that I would always be available to him that way. I was not going to give him a reason to go anywhere else ... ever. I sighed and walked over to them to hear the end of the story. 

Carl was tired, I could see the exhaustion in every line of his body but he was gallantly trying to finish the story. "So I think Caroline Putnam is dead. I don't know for sure, but she hadn't stirred in hours. When I escaped, Keith was still alive, but barely conscious. He'd beaten us both badly. But I'm younger and in better shape. I think I took it a little better than he did." The tears were flowing freely down his face now. "He raped Caroline and Patsy repeatedly. Three times a day he'd have a go at one or the other of them. Oh Christ, he made us watch! The fucking bastard ... made us... watch!" He dissolved into wrenching sobs. 

I saw the horror on Mulder's face. He looked up to acknowledge my presence. He closed his eyes to prevent his own tears. I could tell he was putting himself in Carl's place and the horror of it was crushing him. He was thinking about what he would do were he in the same situation. He looked back at Carl. Carl looked at him with a pleading expression on his face. He sucked in his sobs and continued. 

"Leaving her behind was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I knew that I couldn't overpower him or surprise him and I had to take my chance to escape when I could. I had to try and get help. Patsy was alive when I left, but she was staring vacantly into space. I think her mind just snapped and she removed herself from the situation mentally. She couldn't take it anymore. OH GOD, WHY US?!" He was nearly screaming now. 

"You did the right thing, Carl. And we will help you. Mulder, he's getting too agitated. That's enough for now." Mulder nodded. I knelt down next to him and gripped his shoulders gently. 

"We will find them Carl and we will do our utmost best to bring them out alive, you have to believe that. God didn't bring you two this far to drop you on your ass. We'll find her and we'll bring her out. I can't make you promises, but I promise we won't quit until we find them, O.K.?" 

He nodded and hugged me to his chest, despite the cuts and bruises. I felt him wince but he held me closely for a second and whispered in my ear. "Thank you. You don't know how relieved I was to find you. Then I saw the guns and I nearly had a heart attack!" 

"Sorry about that," I replied. I gently extricated myself from his arms and looked up at Mulder. His eyes darted away from me and then back. I know it probably bothered him a little that they guy had hugged me that close, but he realized it was a comfort thing and he had nothing to be jealous over. I could see it in his face, he was forcibly repressing a childish reaction that had wanted to spew out for a second. Good God, would we ever trust each other enough not to react to such things around each other. Yes, I think that time would help. The security in each other's love would grow with time and these touches with others would cease to faze us. 

Carl sat up and looked from one of us to the other. "New relationship, huh?" 

Mulder looked away sheepishly, knowing the guy had caught the look on his face. "We've been friends for years, but ... being involved ... as a couple is new." 

"Don't worry man, I'm just more grateful than you could imagine." He sat up gingerly. 

Mulder replied, "I know, I'm just not used to others touching her yet." 

"No problem man, I understand. I was the same way with Patsy at first, but then I realized she really did love me and she wasn't going anywhere. Once I trusted her totally, and I mean completely, the fear went away. I knew that if she touched someone, there was nothing romantic about it and she was going home at night with me, no matter what." 

Mulder nodded to him. "Thanks, no offense taken. I know I'm being a caveman, even as I have those reactions." 

Carl chuckled. "It'll fade, trust me." 

"Thanks." Mulder stuck out his hand and Carl shook it. 

"Excuse me guys, please don't talk like I'm not here." 

They both looked at me and grinned. Carl replied, "It's a guy thing." 

I rolled my eyes and they both chuckled. Then Carl said, "Look, if you guys help me, I think I can walk and I'm anxious to get out of here and get some help. Do you think you can help me up and then maybe I can use a stick for a cane or something to keep the weight off this leg. I was so panicked and pumped on adrenaline before I didn't feel it, but now it's starting to really hurt." 

I pulled one of my stretcher limbs over and stood it up. Mulder helped him to his feet. Carl grabbed it firmly and Mulder threw his free arm over his shoulders and wrapped the other arm around Carl's waist. I ran back into the tent, grabbed a flashlight, Mulder's cell phone and his knife. I dumped out the cooler with the sandwiches and put all this stuff in the cooler along with the antibiotic ointment and some gauze pads and tape. I didn't know what we might need, but I didn't want to go totally unprepared. I grabbed a canteen last minute and threw the strap over my shoulder. I came back out and blew out the Coleman lantern, putting it back in the tent. 

They had started hobbling down the path and I turned to start walking behind them. It was easy to catch up, they weren't moving very quickly. It had taken a half hour to hike in here, but at this rate it was going to take a lot longer to hike out. Mulder took one of the flashlights from me to illuminate the path in front of them and I held the other one up and followed slightly behind them. 

"Mulder, maybe I should go ahead. That way if there's stuff on the path, I can get it out of the way first." 

"Good thinking," he replied and stopped while I scooted around them to the front and began carefully picking my way down the path. The path had been wide enough for us on the hike in, but I was quite a bit smaller than this guy, although he wasn't as big as Mulder. There gait was understandably a little clumsy and the path was barely wide enough for the two of them. I began snapping branches off that stuck out into the path in order to try and reduce the chances that one of them would get snagged in the face by one of them. It was a long hike, and we had to stop several times to let Carl rest. I kept trying the cell phone periodically but wasn't having any more luck. 

We finally reached the end of the forest an hour and half after beginning. I glanced at my watch. It was 2:00 AM, and the moon hung low in the sky, casting an ethereal glow on the clearing where our car sat. I opened the door and Mulder carefully lowered Carl into the back seat. I tried his cell phone this time and got a signal. Apparently, the trees must have been an obstacle. The land maps we'd looked at when we were at the police station had shown that the place was surrounded by mountains so it was little wonder that the radio frequencies were blocked. I didn't dare move a foot to either side in fear of losing the precious signal. I dialed 911 and waited impatiently for the dispatcher to pick up. 

<911 operator, what's your emergency?>

"Hello, this is Special Agent, Dana Scully, with the FBI." I need an ambulance in Cornwall at the entrance to Dark Entry Road off Route 7 as soon as possible." 

<Dudleytown?> The astonished dispatcher asked. 

Did everyone in Connecticut know about this place? "Yes." 

<Cornwall has a volunteer ambulance but they are BLS, do you need ALS?>

"No, send whoever is closest. We have a 25 year old male with multiple cuts and abrasions and a serious muscle tear in the left anterior quadricep. Possible dehydration, possible broken ribs." 

<Please stay on the line, Agent.>

Beep. Boop. Cling, Chime. Murmur, murmur, murmur. 

<O.K., Cornwall ambulance is on the way. The closest hospital is Sharon Hospital in Sharon, or you can have them take him to New Milford, but that will add 20 minutes to your trip.>

"Thank you, and I need one more thing." 

"Yes, Agent? You're a real FBI agent?" 

Oh brother! "Yes, I am and I need for you to call the New Milford Police Department and have them send Chief Wasley and Captain Seavers out here, along with at least four other cops. I'm on a cell phone and I had to go an hour and half to get this signal. I'm not confident that I can make another call to them. Can you do that for me?" 

<I certainly can, glad to help. What shall I tell them, anything?>

"As a matter of fact, tell them we found Carl Lehigh and we have a good idea where the others are and we need man power out here." 

<Yes, ma'am! Uh, Agent ...>

"Scully, Agent Scully, they'll know who I am." 

<Yes, Agent Scully, consider it done. You can count on me!>

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Bye now." And I hung up. For God sakes, you'd think these people had never heard of the FBI before. But I suppose there lives were pretty dull most of the time. I doubted high crime was a common occurrence around here. 

We waited for nearly 20 minutes for an ambulance to show up from Cornwall. It was frustrating. In the city, we were used to ambulances being on the road at all times and there was rarely more than a 10 minutes wait. Out here, volunteers had to travel from their homes to the ambulance 'barn' before heading out to the scene. In the midst of my frustration over the wait, I took a moment to realize the dedication and total selflessness that must come with being a volunteer EMT. 

You had to really WANT to help people in order to do this for nothing. No pay, no perks, only the occasional gratitude of a patient who might have died without your willingness to rouse from your bed at 2:00 AM, stumble into clothes and drive into the middle of nowhere to transport you to the nearest hospital. Out here, that was a big deal. There were no hospitals closer than 20, 25 minutes away. Christ, we were spoiled in the city. My aggravation faded as I saw the ambulance pull into the entrance, bouncing over the uneven ground. 

It barely came to a stop when two females disembarked from the rear. One was yanking a stretcher from the back of the rig and the other was trotting to the car, carrying a portable oxygen tank and portable suction, an oxygen mask and stethoscope hanging loosely around her neck. A Philly collar was wrapped around her bicep. Her hair was jammed into an uneven ponytail. Her face was all business as she nodded to me and Mulder with a curt, "Howdy, I'm Pauline, that's Carrie." 

I introduced us. "Agents Mulder and Scully, thanks for coming out." 

"No biggy, that's what we do, no?" 

Then she turned to the car and leaned in over Carl. I marveled at her calm, knowing that less than a half hour ago, this woman was sound asleep. I'd seen the Morpheus fog in her eyes that hadn't quite cleared. She was tired and ignoring it like a professional. It reminded of my days in residency, where you had to suddenly wake and become alert having only had three or four hours sleep. But I had a goal then, to become a doctor and make decent money doing it. These women did what they did for FREE. All that training and testing and re-certifying and not planning on getting a dime for it. It was altruism in its purist form. The concept was totally foreign to me and I realized that there was lot more goodness in the world than I cared to notice sometimes. 

She was cooing to Carl. "There now, buddy, we're going to put you on that stretcher first, O.K.?" 

Both women helped him out of the car and strapped him onto the stretcher. The driver, bearing an armband over his denim jacket declared him as an MRT, 'Medical Response Technician'. Basically, they were trained in advanced first aid. He stood patiently and waited as the two women, placed the oxygen mask on Carl and tested his straps and collar and took vitals. 

She called to the MRT. "Coty, help us out here." He jogged to the stretcher and helped the women maneuver the stretcher to back of the rig and load it in, deftly releasing the retractable legs as it slid home and locked into place against the wall. He retreated to front and jumped into the driver seat. 

Carrie turned to us, watching us through the back of the open door. "Are you coming?" 

"Uh no, but we don't know which hospital he wants to go to." 

She looked at Carl. "Any preferences?" 

"I'm not from around here." 

Carrie nodded. "There's Sharon, about 25 minutes away and there's New Milford, which is about forty minutes away, or thirty depending on how Coty up there drives." 

Her little attempt at levity was not lost on everyone and we all smiled. Carl asked, "Agent Mulder, where are the police coming from?" 

Mulder answered, "New Milford." 

"Take me there then, it will make it easier. I'm sure they want to talk to me." 

Mulder looked concerned. "Are you sure you're up for the ride? Don't worry about us, we'll come to you. We're mobile." 

"No, I'm O.K. Take me to New Milford." 

They nodded. 

"Could we borrow some supplies?" I asked tentatively. 

"What do you need?" Pauline asked. 

"Well, we suspect we may find three more people in need of medical attention in there and I only have that measly first aid kit. I used up most of my gauze and sutures on him." 

Carrie tilted her head. "You sutured him?" 

"Yeah, left leg. I'm a doctor. You can bill us for it. We'll gladly replace it." 

"Oh, yeah, that doesn't matter. What do you need." Carrie asked. 

"Could I borrow a box of gauze, some latex gloves and some more antibiotic ointment." 

"Yeah, we don't have sutures here, but we have the big butterfly band aids and some clamps," she responded. 

"Yeah, those too. It wouldn't hurt if I stole a compression bandage or two, just in case." 

She nodded as she gathered up the materials and put them in a huge zip lock bag and handed them out the back door. "Good luck." 

"Yeah, thanks for your help. You guys are great!" 

She beamed under the compliment. "Thanks, we do our best." 

They waved farewell, closing the back door and pulling out onto the darkened street that held no street lamps to illuminate their way. The ambulance almost looked suspended in air as it pulled out into the blackness of the night, its headlights the only light showing on the road. The backdrop was totally black. We stood there and watched until we could no longer see the light. 

Mulder turned to me. "Well, do we wait for the police or go ahead?" 

"Go ahead where? We may need a chopper to search the woods." 

"I don't think so. He gave me a rough idea of the path he took and I drew a map. He says the cabin isn't that far away and he was surprised no one knew it was there." 

"Well, we should leave the cops a note if we go in now." 

"Yeah, where though?" 

"How about the windshield?" I volunteered. 

He nodded and slid into the car, opening the glove box and pulling the notepad and pen out that we always kept in there. He scribbled a note as I watched over his shoulder. -C. Lehigh taken to NM Hospital by Cornwall Amb. We have returned to our camp. We will wait there. Have a description of a trail leading to cabin. Expect to find perp and other three victims. Agents Mulder and Scully.- 

He put it under the windshield and then scribbled on another note, -Check out the windshield of the car.- 

He tossed the pad and pen on the seat and strode over the wooden sign marking Dark Entry Road. He peeled a sliver of wood away and jammed the note behind it. Hopefully if they didn't see the note on the windshield, they would see that. We flicked on our flashlights and began hiking back. I was cold from standing in the breeze for such a long time, but walking got me warmed up again. Mulder had taken my hand as before. 

Mulder had been quite for a while, concentrating on surveying the ground ahead of us. "Those women are pretty amazing, aren't they?" 

"Yeah, I never really thought about it much. But it's pretty inspiring that there are people willing to go through all that training and do that stuff for free, don't you think?" 

"Yeah, almost makes me feel guilty for getting paid." He chuckled. "But not that guilty." 

I smiled. "It kind of restores your faith in the basic human goodness of people, ya know?" 

"Yeah, I commend them, really I do, but you couldn't pay me enough to do it." 

"Well, you're not a medical person." 

"I know, but would you do it for free?" 

"I would like to think if I lived someplace like this, I would, but I honestly can't answer that for you." 

"I bet you would. You have such a kind heart, I bet you wouldn't be able to resist." 

I squeezed his hand. "You think way too much of me sometimes." 

"No, I don't." Silence lapsed then again and we walked companionably back to camp. We weren't in a rush. We had no desire to go searching for this guy alone in the dark. Time was of the essence if one of the victims was dead already. Every minute we waited, one of those women could be raped again. On the other hand, we weren't doing them any favors by rushing in unprepared and possibly being caught up ourselves. In the past, we would have rushed in. But getting into a romantic relationship had other perks. It made you a bit more cautious. It made taking unnecessary risks, no longer seem worthwhile. I for one, thought that was a good thing. I didn't know what I would do if I lost Mulder, but if I ever did, I didn't want it to be because of something stupid. 

Freaking out over your partner being in danger was one of the very reason the Bureau frowned on romantic relationships between partners. But we freaked out anyway, sex or no sex. That wasn't going to change. I loved him, we loved each other and we were going to go nuts whenever one of us was at risk. That wouldn't be less of a factor just because we abstained from sex. We'd already proven that. 

I remembered my father's old, crude, military saying. Whenever we kids and did something stupid, he would say, 'Remember the six P's.' They stood for, 'Prior planning prevents piss-poor performance.' 

Mulder asked what I was smirking about and I told him. He chuckled. "Your dad was a great guy." 

"You think so?" 

"Yeah, don't you?" 

"Yes, but I never considered what you thought of him." 

"If he were alive, he'd probably have a fit if he knew his little girl was screwing an alien chaser!" 

I chortled. "No, I think he would have liked you. You never really got to know him. He was rigid in a lot of ways but he was not quick to judge people like my brother, Bill. He tended to give people the benefit of the doubt. And he had a lot more faith in me and my choices than Bill, Jr. does as well. He would have trusted my judgment. He would have respected your dedication. If I loved you, he would have too." 

He smiled at me and pulled me into a spontaneous hug as we entered the clearing of the old abandoned town. He ruffled my hair with his chin. "I love you so much, Scully. Promise me you won't do anything stupid out there." 

I heaved a sigh. "I know, I'm being protective, but I want to have a lot more days and nights with you in my arms. I don't want it to end before it really begins." 

"That door swings both ways, Mulder. And let's face it, you are much more prone to diving in with both feet and your eyes closed." 

"Yeah, I guess I am. But I'm thinking for two now, is that what you're trying to tell me?" 

"Yes, promise me you'll be careful too." 

He squeezed me tight and then let go. "I promise. That's why I'm waiting for back up, although my first instinct is to dive into those woods and hunt this bastard down." 

"Me too." We walked to the tent. "Let's get on some warm clothes." 

We had made it back to our camp sight in about a forty minutes. Going was a little tougher in the dark. Neither of us needed to sprain an ankle at this point so we had been careful. I changed into a warmer shirt and my socks and hiking boots. Then I pulled a windbreaker on over my long sleeved shirt. Mulder pulled on a sweater over his flannel shirt. We were cozy now and stirred up the fire again. He totally unloaded one of the back packs and began rearranging things. He stuffed the first aid supplies, his knife and the spare flashlight into the pack, along with three long sleeved flannel shirts that he had bought. He handed me a pen light. 

"Why did you buy so many?" I asked, nodding toward the shirts he was rolling up and stuffing into the bag. 

"I tried one on and loved the way it felt. They are really soft and warm. Even though we only planned on being up here for a night, I decided I wouldn't mind owning a few of them." 

"I like them on you." 

He looked up at me then, smiling. "Do you now?" 

"I never thought I'd hear myself say that I love a guy in flannel, but you look so sexy in your outdoor get up." 

"Outdoor get up?" 

"You know what I mean." 

"Well, if flannel turns you on, I'll see if I can find any dress shirts made of flannel!" he teased. 

We both laughed then. We finished up our preparation and sat on the log outside the tent, holding hands and staring into the fire. Our silence was companionable and I leaned into his shoulder as he brushed my arm up and down with his hand. It was a wonderful feeling to be able to do this with him. Just to enjoy touching. Mulder was such a tactile person, much more so than me. Or so I thought. But maybe I just had never allowed myself to enjoy it. I was finding this cuddling up stuff extremely enjoyable. Almost as enjoyable as knowing I might get to have sex on a regular basis for the first time in years. Well ... almost as enjoyable! 

We heard the cops talking as they approached about a half hour later. I went to pull away and Mulder kept me locked to his side, not allowing me to pull away. Apparently, he was not concerned with letting them see that we were a couple. I knew I should be upset by that and that it was totally unprofessional to flaunt our new relationship in front of them. But we were hardly in a professional situation out here. I also knew that Mulder had been jealous of Officer Seaver flirting with me. He was trying to pretend it wasn't a big deal any more, but I knew that he wasn't going to become totally secure overnight. I had to cut him some slack in this area. I'd hardly been the icon of security and trust in the last twenty-four hours myself. 

I snuggled back into the crook of his arm and placed my hand on the inside of my thigh. He gasped a little and whispered in my ear. "Careful, Agent Scully, I don't want to go hiking with a hard on," he joked. 

I chuckled low and rolled my head on his shoulder to watch the cops, six in all enter the clearing. They all stopped chattering as they stepped into the clearing and saw us. I was experiencing a surprising lack of discomfort at this public display. It wasn't blatant but the message was clear. Sure enough, Mulder's eyes went directly to Officer Seaver and he stared at him with a slightly challenging look on his face for a few seconds until Seaver broke eye contact. Alpha Male was staking his territory. The thought made me smile. It was almost a good feeling that he was so possessive ... almost. 

We stood casually and approached the cops. Mulder didn't let go of my hand until I tugged gently as we approached them. No need to make a show of it. He let my hand drop and held his right hand out to Chief Wasley who was leading the group. "You got here quick," Mulder observed. 

"Not much traffic this time of night, we were able to fly out here." 

Mulder and I both weren't quite quick enough to suppress the laugh the bubbled up at that comment. We both squashed it quickly, not wanting them to take offense. The Chief merely grinned. Mulder apologized. "Sorry, no disrespect, but your idea of traffic and ours are two totally different things." 

Everyone chuckled at that and we sat down around the fire to work out a plan of attack. Mulder suggested that we all stay together and not separate until we found the cabin. Then we could surround it and send one of us in to peek in the windows and try to scope out the situation. He related Carl's description of the layout of the cabin and the four twin beds against one wall in the large front room of the cabin. Apparently the guy had a wooden table and chair in there also and no other furniture. A separate room held a kitchen and a port-o-potty. A third room held a bedroom with a giant King size bed in it that the man slept in. 

He explained that there was only one window on each wall that he covered with blankets to keep the cold out. There was a fireplace opposite the beds and table on the same wall as the front door. There was a small porch in front, and no second story. There was apparently no running water. Carl had said you could smell the guy coming and he looked like a nightmare version of Jeremiah Johnson or Davey Crocket. He wore overalls with all sorts of weapons in the many pockets, including knifes. Carl said he never saw a gun but that didn't mean he didn't have one. He did see a bow and arrow though. 

The cops surmised that he probably didn't have a gun or he would have to leave the cabin to get ammunition. If that happened, someone would probably know this guy. As far as they knew, no one had ever heard of anyone living up here. Someone that large and unkempt would surely attract attention if he were to venture into town. He probably didn't have money anyway. 

So, our plans were made and Mulder copied a crude drawing of the map on the pad of paper and handed one to each cop to carry. They all had flashlights and billy clubs. Mulder and I holstered our weapons on our jeans. Mulder strapped a small derringer to his ankle. It had a small holster with a clip that clung nicely to the top of his boot. He pulled his jean leg down over it with some difficulty and then stood up. He asked me if I had my badge and I realized I didn't. "I know it seems stupid, but these guys are in uniform, we're not and we should probably identify ourselves. I'd hate for the guy to get off on a technicality if we are able to take him into custody." 

"You're right. I grabbed both our I.D.s out of the tent and we stuffed them into our back pockets. All was ready and we began the slow, arduous hike up one of the narrow hiking trails that led away from the Dudleytown village and up the mountain into the denser forest. The feeling was oppressive. I was wondering if we shouldn't wait for daylight, but then firmly quashed that idea. Time was off the essence. No telling what this misfit had done to those people. I just hoped that no one was dead. 

* * *

* * *

**PART 4 ( R )**  
**SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS**  
**OVERLOOKING CORNWALL BRIDGE**  
3:30 AM 

I was tired. We were all tired. I watched Scully carefully to make sure she was holding up. She always did but I couldn't help but be concerned. I saw the expression on her face when she heard about those women being raped. I had felt rage and horror, but Scully could empathize with that situation, being a woman, much more than I could. I knew things that this disturbed her the way other things rarely could. None of us was used to this hiking in the dark business. And we were all tense besides, trying to be quiet, not knowing when we might come upon the cabin. 

Obviously the guy had made many trips between his cabin and Dudleytown. The path was well worn and the branches were cleared away from the path the further we hiked. I wondered what would possess a man to live out here by himself. He was obviously a misfit, probably lacked human contact for years and was probably paranoid about protecting his little sanctuary. I had a sudden memory of Mr. Petie, the mountain man. Curiosity seekers in Dudleytown were probably viewed as a threat to his secret and solitary existence. I wondered how many others he'd nearly snatched that had never been reported. Out here, who knew? The population was so spread out. Someone might be able to be missing for days and no one would notice. I realized that the reason these couples were missed was because they were out of towners who had set schedules and careers where people looked for them when they didn't show. 

We came upon the cabin suddenly. It was as though someone drew a line. The trees and foliage ended as the path abruptly emptied into a clearing. It was perhaps a half an acre, cleared quite nicely of all trees and brush. There were grass and tiger lilies dotting the lawn, visible under the moonlight. They swayed like tiny sentinels before the cabin and gave the place a creepy look. I doused my flashlight and the cops followed suit. I pointed at two cops and whispered, "You guys go around back, stay inside the tree line and check out the back of the cabin. They nodded. I pointed at the other two. I couldn't remember any of their names and indicated the left side of the cabin. The other two I directed to the right side. The Chief and Seavers, I told to wait there and watch the door of the cabin in case anyone came out. They didn't seem to have a problem with me taking over and I was relieved we weren't dealing with a bunch of inflated yahoo egos here. 

Scully whispered, "Guys, leave your walkie talkies here on the path." 

They looked down and nodded, realizing an untimely squawk from one of them could blow the whole deal. They carefully removed them, turning them off and laid them in a pile just to the side of the path. We were all in dark clothing so that wasn't a particular concern of mine. But the moon was bright and unlike in Dudleytown where it didn't seem to pierce the gloom and foliage, it did here, lighting up the clearing enough to see the cabin rather clearly. Scully looked at me again. "I want to do the snoop, Mulder." 

I shook my head in the negative and saw her eyes flare, even in this low light. "Don't start, Mulder. I'll be careful, I promise. But I'm small and I can crouch low. I'm the least likely to be seen and you know it." Her voice was a hiss. 

I didn't like it but I realized she was right. I was to be the one to lure him out of the cabin when the time was right. Scully had a pen light on her that the 'snooper' was going to flash at us when it was time to execute the plan. The idea was to lure him out of the cabin and away from the victims so Scully and a couple of the cops could make there way in and protect them and check out their wounds. I wanted cops on all sides in case the guy made a break for it, there would be at least two of us that he didn't have a head start on, no matter which direction he might choose. "O.K., but please Scully, be careful. She nodded. The cops began to slowly make their way around the edge of the woods to get into position. We waited while Wasley and Seavers looked on. 

I really wasn't trying to show off my hold on Scully. I really was just terribly concerned about this situation. Hearing what this guy had done to those women, I shuddered to think of the consequences were he to get a hold on Scully. But as she had pointed out yesterday, we were armed and the victims weren't. We were ready for trouble and they weren't. But I couldn't help it. In case something happened, I had to say it one more time before I let her walk away. I stepped into her carefully, close enough that she had to tip her head back to look up at me. I quickly put my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her up to my lips, giving her a quick but crushing kiss on the lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the cops shuffle a bit and look away. "I love you, Scully. Be careful." 

She was shocked by my move and possibly even angry, but then she must have seen the fear in my eyes and she reached up to smooth her palm over my cheek, surprising me with this break from her usual professional demeanor. "Always," she whispered. 

Then she made my heart and my ego swell about two sizes when she quickly kissed me again and whispered, loud enough so Wasley and Seavers could hear her, "I love you, too, Mulder. I'll be back before you know it." She winked at me with mischievous smile on her face as she saw the surprise and shock etched on my face. She was used to me doing inappropriate things, but I was totally unprepared for her to do something like that in front of others. She winked again. 

She turned on her heel and crouched down and slinked away from me until she was near the cops on the right side of the cabin. The largest window in the cabin was to the side of the front door. There was a tiny sliver of light coming from inside the cabin, but the light source was small and not in direct line with the window. I suspected a candle. I didn't care if the cops heard me as I whispered out loud, "God, Scully, be careful." 

I swallowed hard and felt a hand on my forearm. I jerked around to look at Wasley, holding my arm. He dropped his arm but looked me in the eye. He whispered, "She'll be fine. We won't let anything happen to her. We outnumber him eight to one." 

I nodded and whispered back, "I know, but that's ..." He probably didn't care but I said it anyway. "That's my life sneaking up to that cabin and I can't help but worry." He nodded. 

"I'd feel the same way about my Jeanne." We stood in silent communion after drawing our weapons and watching Scully like a hawk. After a minute, she darted across the lawn in a sprint. She crouched low beside the three porch steps and peered carefully over the edge. She waited. We didn't sense any movement or sound. She stood, still crouching and carefully placed one foot on the first step. It made no sound. I was acutely aware of every sound. I was afraid the stairs would creek and give her away. I was afraid she would have to cough or sneeze. My paranoia was at full alert. I watched her like a hawk. She carefully placed one foot in front of the other, staying low, her weapon drawn and slowly made her way across the porch. 

Although I knew stealth and caution were necessary, I was mentally biting my nails as she inched her way to the window. It was taking so long and my nerves were on edge by the time she reached the window and sat in a full squat. She grasped her weapon in both hands and lifted her head to peer into the window. Unlike Carl's prediction, there was no blanket covering this window, but I suspected the others were covered. She was unearthly still for a moment and then her head sank below the window. I watched her for a signal but none came. 

She eased herself onto her knees and raised herself up again, exposing more of her head into the window. I was holding my breath, my ears tuned to the slightest sound. My eyes riveted to the window waiting for any shadow to cross my line of vision. There was nothing but the eerie silence. A slight breeze swayed the tiger lilies and made shadows from the moon bounce across the clearing. It was almost ethereal, the look of the place. Finally, she sank down again and I released the breath I was holding. 

I heard Seavers clear his throat in amusement at my nervousness and I glared at him. He retreated, looking at the ground almost immediately. He knew I was not amused in the least. I didn't care. 

I watched Scully holster her weapon and literally crawl on her hands and knees to the edge of the porch. She skipped the stairs this time and hopped to the ground off to the side of the steps and darted back across the lawn. I waited while she carefully made her way back to me through the trees. When she emerged on the path, I caught her up in my arms without preamble. I was slightly embarrassed by the fact that I was shaking. My released tension was making my muscles quiver. Even I hadn't realized how tense I was. 

She ran her hands up and down my back, comforting me and not saying anything for a few moments. Then she gently disengaged from my arms and turned inside them to face the cops. She didn't protest when I left my hands on her waist, so I left them there. Touching her and feeling her whole and solid had always been a comfort to me, even before this new fear that came with being her lover. 

She whispered. "I can see the four beds. There are people in three of them. They are all tied to the bed posts with rope, hands and feet. I couldn't assess any damage from there but they don't look good. There is a fire going in the fireplace, but it's not blazing." She pointed to the sky and I noticed the plume of smoke from the chimney for the first time. 

"He isn't in the room. I suspect he's in his own bed. There is one candle burning on the table in there, that's it. I don't see any other furniture, just like Carl said, so it shouldn't be too hard to maneuver in there, but if we have to bust in, two of you should go straight for the table and push it to the side." 

They nodded. She flashed her pen light once at the cops on either side of the cabin, which was the signal to stay put for now. Two flashes were the signal to storm the place or rush in as back up. Three flashes meant to gather near the porch and wait to ambush the guy as he came out. I took a few calming breaths. I watched as the cops on the side flashed their flashlights once at the cops in the back that we couldn't see. 

I think I'll go up and see if I can attract him by simply making noise opening the door and shoving it in. When he emerges, I can try to push him towards the stairs and get him off balance. Then you guys can surround him and bear down on him. Be careful though, he may have a weapon. According to Mr. Lehigh, he was real handy with a knife and he's apparently a giant. He probably has several weapons hidden on his person if he's clothed so watch out. Try to stay out of arms reach until we can get some cuffs on him." 

They were all nodding. I looked at Scully. "Wait for me to get up there. I'll signal you when to get the guys up to the porch. When they are in position, I'll wake this bastard up. If we're lucky, he will be in nothing but his jammies." 

They all smirked at that. Picturing a six foot, six mountain man in jammies was an amusing picture. She threw my words back at me. "Be careful, Mulder." Then she teased trying to lighten the mood. "You're not as light on your feet as I am." 

I smiled at her and nodded. I kissed her forehead quickly and ruffled her hair. Then I made my way through the trees to the side of the house, following the route that had worked for her. From the side, I could see that the window on this side was indeed blacked out by some sort of window hanging. That stunk for seeing inside but was good for hiding my approach. I quickly sprinted across the lawn and slowed upon reaching the porch. I took her lead and crawled up onto the porch, not really caring how ridiculous I might look with my ass in the air. 

I stood and pressed my back to the wall between the door and the window. I peered sideways into the window and saw everything Scully had described. The problem was, I couldn't tell if the door was latched in any way. Carl said he'd loosened his bindings over the coarse of his time there and had finally pulled a hand free when the guy left. He assumed he had gone hunting because he left with his bow and arrow. He had fed them nothing but water and some kind of watery gruel that he assumed used to be venison stew. But they were all weak from the lack of food. He had said there was a type of hook and eye latch on the inside but he didn't latch it as he had gone outside and would need to get back in. Carl said there was no lock, just that piece of wood that slid down behind a block of wood to latch the door shut. 

I flashed Scully and then put my flashlight on the ground and pulled out my weapon. I watched as the cops slowly made their way up to surround the porch and peer at me over the top of the floor boards. Scully scurried up onto the porch and I gave her a murderous look to stay put. She carefully placed our backpack on the porch and looked at me with a look that said, 'Forget it, Mulder.' She shook her head firmly and positioned herself on the other side of the door. Stubborn woman! Well, there was nothing for it now. I waited while she drew her weapon again. She nodded at me that she was ready. 

I said a silent prayer to a God I don't really believe in and reached gingerly for the door handle which was an old cast iron, curved bar with a thumb plate on top. I carefully pushed the thumb plate down and gripped the bar firmly. Then I quickly leaned my shoulder into the door and shoved with all my strength. I was almost surprised at how easily it opened and swung inward, almost taking my body with it. I let go before it pulled m inside behind its weight and jerked my body back against the wall next to the now open door. It had creaked rather loudly. 

The stillness and silence that ensued was nerve racking in the extreme. I heard a grunt and then a distinctly female whimper. I looked over to see Scully cringe. I saw her body leaning toward the doorway with the urge to peer inside at the victims and I grunted softly and frantically shook my head in the negative in warning. I saw her chest expand on a deep breath and she retreated, letting her body sag to the wall. I let go of the breath I had been holding once again. We waited and the silence stretched. I began to hear the cops shuffling their feet and moving around at the sides of the porch. I tried to look at them fiercely but they couldn't see my face. They knew I had turned to them though and the shuffling receded. They weren't used to situations like this. The waiting in any of these types of situations was undoubtedly the worst, but it didn't pay to rush in. 

I laughed inwardly at me thinking that statement. I was the King of rushing in! But not anymore. There was too much at stake personally now. It sounded stupid, even to me and I would never say it aloud. But I had something to live for now and I wasn't going to needlessly throw my life away by being impetuous anymore. I hoped I could stick to that resolve. 

Finally, I gestured to Scully that I was going in. Her brow crinkled but she nodded firmly. I picked up my flashlight, laying it on top of my weapon to light my way. I ducked inside the door, weapon ready and scanned the room. I could see the three people tied to the beds. There was an open archway leading into a kitchen that was nothing but blackness beyond the doorway. I could see the open door leading into a small vestibule. There was a half opened door there that I could only assume led into the guys bedroom that Carl had described. I heard another whimper and turned to see Patsy Lehigh. Her head was lifted from her pillow, arms stretched above her head. Tears were in her eyes and they were wide as saucers. I carefully placed my finger over my lips, indicating that she should keep quiet. She whimpered louder. I glanced between the bedroom door and her and saw her tongue pushing at her gag, trying to pull it down. I crept over to her and pulled it down. 

A deep breath followed as she sucked fresh air into her lungs. She panted. "He isn't here. He left a couple of hours ago when he found Carl missing." 

I nodded in relief but then thought that he could sneak up on the guys outside unawares. They thought he was in here. I said, "Just a second. We're going to get you out of here." 

"Carl?" she asked in a pleading voice. 

"He's O.K., he's on his way the hospital. Probably there by now. That's how we found you." 

She nodded and her head fell back on the pillow in relief. I poked my head out of the cabin. "Scully!" 

She snapped to attention. "What?" 

"Put the cops on alert to watch for the guy and then get in here. He isn't here. Patsy says he went after Lehigh a couple of hours ago when he discovered him missing." 

"Christ, he probably got to our campsite when we were down below with Carl." 

"Yeah, but then what? Where did he go? He had to have seen our camp site. He could be watching us right now!" 

She nodded and trotted to the edge of the porch, hastily telling the guys to find some cover in the edge of the woods and hide and keep their eyes open. If he appeared, she instructed them to shoot to disarm him only and shout for help. They all nodded sagely and fanned out back into the tree line. Scully practically ran into the cabin, dragging the knapsack behind her. We both went to work untying them. Caroline and Keith were both unconscious, but with relief I found a pulse on both of them. 

"Scully, they're both alive! They're out cold, but they're alive!" I was panting with the adrenaline rush that was only now starting to wear off. 

She tended to Patsy first. I rubbed her wrists and ankles to get the circulation going again as Scully pulled open her ripped shirt and went to work on her lacerations. When she was through, she pulled out one of my shirts and helped Patsy button it up. Patsy's hands were too shaky to deal with the buttons. She sobbed in relief. It was cold in here despite the fire, which was now sputtering with the last of the flames that would soon be nothing but embers. Being tied down and laying still couldn't have helped either. All they had were thread bare blankets over them, one each. Patsy sat and watched with open curiosity as Scully went to work on the others. I helped the best I could by handing her whatever she asked for. I looked at Patsy and caught her serious glance. I realized we hadn't even introduced ourselves. We were so caught up in what we were doing. 

"We're Agents Mulder and Scully with the FBI." Her eyes got a little rounder at that statement. "There are also six other local cops outside watching for this guy. We will get you out of here as soon as possible but we need to patch you up first." 

She nodded and then I barely heard her breathy, "Thank you. Thank you." I nodded. I saw her shivering and made my way over to the fireplace and threw on a couple of logs, stirring up the flames. I took the one chair in the place and put it in front of the fire. I returned to her and gingerly helped her to her feet. She swayed. Scully turned just in time to see me sweep the woman up in my arms and cross the room to place her gently in the chair in front of fire. It was then I saw the most curious thing. On the table was a dog eared copy of the bible. 

I realized suddenly how carrying Patsy must have looked and my head shot up to find Scully gazing at me. My fears were blasted away as I saw the tenderness and love shining in her eyes. She was pleased with me and I felt a warmth spread through my chest just because of that knowledge. Scully was pleased with me. I think I was going to spend the rest of my days trying to please Scully. The feeling it gave me compared to none other. I retraced my steps to her, smiling a little coyly and took up helping her to patch the other two up. I gently lifted them while she placed the extra shirts on them and then carefully laid them back down. Now, how the hell to get out of here? 

The thought no sooner completed, when I heard a gun shot. Scully and I were on our feet in seconds and headed for the door. Patsy let out a wail of fright. I turned to her quickly, nearly shouting. "It's all right. Just don't move." Like she would, anyway! 

Then we exited the door, weapons drawn again. The sight we beheld was like something out of a movie. A giant of a man was in the center of the clearing surrounded by the cops, all bearing their weapons down on him. He held a gigantic bow and arrow and circled cautiously pointing it at each of them in turn. Every few seconds, he would let out a bellow of rage, but he said no words. He was without a doubt, the biggest man I had ever seen. I thought Carl's estimation of six foot six was probably conservative. His shoulders were easily twice the width of my body. He wore shapeless overalls so it was impossible to tell how muscular he was, but judging by his arms, he wasn't a bowl of Jell-O. His hair was a mass of wild tangled curls that stuck out all over his head. His beard was like a lawn on his face, reaching to the center of his cheekbones. Beady little eyes were set way too close together. 

We made our way down the stairs. I shouted, "We're FBI, you've got no chance! Put down your weapon." I had no doubt that we could kill him if we needed to. I also had no doubt that he could easily take one of us with him if he fired that bow. I suspected he was an expert with it. Then Scully said, "Mulder, he may not know what the FBI is." 

I shouted again. "Look man, we are all police here and we are all armed, now put down your weapon down slowly and no one will hurt you." 

I had a really bad feeling about this. This man was like a wild animal and he was not going to give up without a fight. He let out a bellow and charged toward Scully and I, pointing his arrow at me as he ran. I dove to the side. Scully jumped out of his path and then fired. Being an incredible crack shot, she hit him directly in his rotator cuff even though she was in motion when she did it. He dropped the bow and arrow and screamed in pain as he dropped to his knees, holding his shoulder. I pulled my cuffs off my belt and advanced on him, circling to the back. Scully's voice was concerned but level and calm. "Mulder, remember he may have knives." 

"O.K." I acknowledged her to let her know I heard her. We were too far apart to read each other's faces at this point. The man swiveled his head like a top trying to locate all of us. I announced my approach. "Now Mister, I'm going to put these hand cuffs on you and if you come with us nicely, nobody gets more hurt. My partner over there is real good with that gun. Now we don't want to hurt you any more, but you have to cooperate with us." I paused. "Do you understand me sir?" 

He twisted around on his knees, still holding his shoulder, to face me. His voice was gravely and uneven from little use. "The Lord will make you pay for damaging one of his angels, mister." 

"Yeah, well, where I come from, angels don't kidnap and rape women, buddy. So forgive me if I'm not that concerned about God's judgment of me at the moment. You might want to look to yourself." 

"I was saving those women! Teaching them the error of their ways. Wanton hussies the both of them. Calling out shamelessly while those men took them in their tents! Enjoying it! Women was made to be silent!" 

Scully apparently couldn't resist a comment at this point. "Not in this century, buddy, and apparently, you've been out of touch for quite some time." 

He swiveled his body around again to look at Scully. With his back to me, I rushed him again, grabbing his elbows and yanking them backwards. He howled and swung his left arm back. That swing was all it took to dislodge me and toss me backwards onto my ass. He was unnaturally strong. I was embarrassed but getting pissed off at this point too. 

I looked at the cops. "A little help here wouldn't be amiss, guys! Two of the cops advanced, holstering their weapons. They each grabbed an arm as he surged to his feet. They both lost their balance but held on to each arm with both hands, floundering like rag dols. Finally, the three of us wrestled him to the ground again and I finally got the cuffs on him. "Flashlight!" I shouted. 

Wasley came over with his flashlight. I rolled the guy onto his back, not caring that his hands were crushed beneath his back and his shoulder was bleeding profusely. I looked at him as he approached. "Shine that on him so I can search him." 

I glanced at Scully and the other cops who were still training their weapons on him. Scully holstered her weapon and said, "I'm going to get a pressure bandage for that shoulder. Let's not have him bleed out." Who cares? I thought. But I kept it to myself. The others put their weapons up and advanced, ready to hold him down if he struggled. As I leaned in to start checking his pockets, his knee came up and caught me in the ribs, right on my bruise. I let out a shout of pain and fell backwards. Scully ran across the lawn to me and dropped to her knees at my side. I was holding my ribs again. "Shit!" I shouted. 

"What happened?" 

"He kneed me in the ribs." 

"Oh God, Mulder I'm sorry." 

"Hit me right on my bruise," I panted. "Shit, this hurts." 

"Did they break?" 

"My ribs? No, I don't think so, it just hurts like hell." 

Seavers looked at me. "Your ribs are already bruised?" 

"Yeah." Scully looked so guilty at that moment. They didn't need to know why. "Occupational hazard." He nodded and Scully smiled a sad smile in thanks to me. 

One cop took each leg and Scully knelt at his head and applied a bandage while I carefully searched his pockets. He growled incessantly but was surprisingly still. I turned up two switch blades, wondering where he got them and a rusty hunting knife and an ice pick, along with some fish hooks. When I was sure he was divested of all his potential weapons, I backed away from him and stood holding my aching ribs again. Scully hand landed on my arm and she whispered, "I'm so sorry, Mulder." 

I smiled down at her. "Don't worry about it, it's over." She nodded. 

I spoke up again. "Now we need to get these folks out of here. All of them are going to need a hospital, especially the Putnams, they are on borrowed time." 

Wasley trotted away and retrieved his walkie talkie. He tried to raise someone on the radio but didn't have any luck. Scully retrieved the backpack and pulled out my cell phone. I didn't even know that she had taken it. Bless her, she thought of everything. Must have stuck it in there when I wasn't looking. 

She hit the talk button and smiled as she got a dial tone. "We have signal!" she chortled gleefully. Everyone chuckled at her enthusiasm. "There's something to be said for modern technology," she added as she dialed 911. 

It was only thirty minutes later when a Life Star helicopter landed in the clearing in front of the cabin. Two flight nurses hopped out and we helped them load all three patients into the chopper. I was impressed by the pilot's fancy maneuvering in lowering this gigantic bird into this small clearing and told him so. He smiled and nodded at me, acknowledging the compliment. One of the cops tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to him. He shouted, "Round here we try to hire all ex-Vietnam pilots for these things. They are the best. Can't nobody slide these birds into tight spots like those guys can." 

I nodded. It was hard to shout over the sound of the blades. We all backed off as the chopper took off and headed for New Milford Hospital with its charges. Minutes later, a police chopper out of Hartford landed and loaded up our suspect. We still didn't know his name and he wasn't talking, despite our efforts to get a name and history out of him. We combed the cabin and turned up a bunch of odd weapons that were all hand crafted. Harpoons, spears, and hand made arrows. We bagged it all up with the supplies the police chopper provided us and sent them on their way. The cops all went with them to get a ride down the mountain. 

We declined, saying that all our camping gear had to be retrieved. We decided to spend the remainder of the night in the cabin, rather than hike back down in the dark. We found a couple of thin but clean blankets in a closet and crawled into the guys bed. He actually had cotton sheets and clean bed pillow on it. We were slightly amazed at that. It was now six in the morning and the sky was beginning to lighten, but we needed some sleep. We'd been up over 24 hours now and had hiked our asses off up and down this mountain. We snuggled up and fell into a deep slumber. 

We woke up six hours later and packed up our supplies in the backpack and hiked back down to our campsite. I was almost sad to pack it up. Being out here alone with Scully had been nice in some ways. We finally finished stowing everything back in the backpacks. We never did figure out the mystery of the sound barrier. I tested it out again as she watched and it was still there. "So what do you think, Scully?" 

"I don't know Mulder, but I'd be curious to have some scientists come up here and check it out." 

"Are you that interested?" 

"No. I'm intrigued but right now all I can think of is sleeping in my own bed. I want to go home." 

"We have to fill out reports for the cops before we leave." 

"Yeah, I know. They can handle the victims statements and the prosecution of the perp. I'm not sad to hand this one over." 

"Me neither. But I will always remember this case." 

"Why?" 

"Because it's the first and second times I got to wake up next to you." 

She smiled that sultry, predatory smile that I'd only seen once before and sidled up to me, wrapping her arms around me. "I never took you for such a romantic, Mulder. You say the sweetest things." 

"Only the truth, Scully." 

"Always looking for the truth, that's my man!" 

I chuckled. "I like the sound of that, Scully. My man!" 

She smiled and kissed me. "Let's get out of here." 

* * *

* * *

**PART 5 (NC-17)**  
**DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT**  
**LATER THAT SAME NIGHT**

We were curled up on the couch, watching the flames dance in the fireplace. Mulder had his feet up on my coffee table and I was trying to become part of his side. We were finally home and I was still tired, but restless just the same. 

I stood up and held out my hand to him. He took it without question, standing and letting me lead him into the bedroom. He'd only been in here a couple of times and then he'd been sick or injured. 

We didn't speak. We didn't need too. I took one look at him and he knew what I wanted. I wanted to make love again, but this time in my own bed. We shucked off our clothes and climbed into bed. We spent long minutes caressing and exploring each other's bodies. We were both sleepy but it just made our movements languid and slow. His hands trailed over my body. I felt like I was being worshipped. My arousal climbed slowly but steadily until my sex was throbbing with the need to be filled again. 

I rolled him onto his back, careful not to hit his bruised ribs. I had insisted he get an X-ray when we got back to New Milford and he had relented. I know he just wanted to shut me up, but that was O.K. I breathed a sigh of relief when there was nothing broken. We'd packed up and caught the next flight out of Bradley Airport in Windsor, arriving back in D.C. in time for supper. We'd order take out Tai and eaten from containers on the couch, content to be relaxing in each others company. Neither of us had spoken much as though we didn't want to break the spell that had sprung up around us in the last forty-eight hours. 

I raised myself up and grasped him in my hand. He moaned lightly and met my eyes. I murmured, "Do you have any idea how sexy you are?" 

He smiled a lazy smile, full of teeth and I felt my heart flop over in my chest. He murmured back, "I'm glad you think so, that's all that matters to me." 

I asked my new favorite question. "What do you want, Mulder?" 

Without hesitation he said, "To be buried inside you, just like this so I can see your face." I slowly lowered myself onto his shaft, savoring the feeling of him pressing me open slowly. It was exquisite. Mulder has a big dick, did I mention that before?. That sounds crude but he does and it's beautiful and it felt so damn good sliding down on top of it. On top like this, he could penetrate so deeply. We both groaned when he was embedded fully inside me. His hands raised from my hips to cause exquisite torture to my breasts, squeezing and pinching my nipples and kneading my flesh. I began to ride him slowly, swiveling my hips as I landed. 

Again, we could have had a moaning contest. I surprised myself with the sounds that were flowing so freely out of my mouth. I'd always held it in but I couldn't with Mulder. There was nothing more arousing to me than to watch his face and see what I was doing to him. He was gasping and moaning his pleasure and it made me shiver and my arousal soar to an almost unbearable height. I loved pleasing him, driving him crazy. It was a powerful feeling. I could do this to this incredibly sexual creature. It amazed me. I began to slide faster and harder on him, out of my mind with pleasure. 

I stopped lifting and just started rocking on him, my hands braced on his shoulders, his hands on my chest. We stared into each others eyes. I was almost there. I sat up and put my hands behind me, now bracing on myself on his legs. He immediately began stroking my clitoris with his thumb, firmly and in time with my rocking. I shouted as my orgasm overtook me, reaching down to fondle his sac. He came with me this time and shouted my name as he came. I don't think there will ever be a sound as rapturous as Mulder calling my name as his hot seed pores into me. 

I leaned over his chest and gently lowered myself, ever conscious of his battered ribs. When our breathing returned to normal, I slid off and he spooned up behind me. I sighed a heavy sigh, the kind of sigh that only comes from complete sexual satisfaction. We still hadn't spoken a word. He placed little butterfly kisses on my neck and I shivered, feeling my eyelids droop towards much needed sleep. The last thing I remember before dropping into dreamland was his low whispered voice in my ear. "I love you so much, Scully." 

I think I tried to mutter back, "Lufff ooo too, Mul..ler." I heard him chuckle. I'm not completely sure but I think he muttered, "Sweet dreams, love." Then I knew nothing for the next eight hours. 

**THE END.**   
  


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